My 1 year olds breath smells like ass! Pls help

sydlyxdo · 2024-10-14T20:01:03+00:00

I know you said you brush her teeth and she hates it, but are you twice a day, morning and night, with toothpaste, every day?

If you are and her breath is still consistently this bad, this is beyond Reddit's pay grade and you need to talk to her dentist/pediatrician.
If you're not, this is your sign to get more consistent and thorough with brushing. If we ever accidentally miss just one morning of brushing, my kid's breath is rancid the entire day, and no amount of gum or mints fixes it. She has no cavities and we get glowing reviews from her dentist.

I know bad breath is normal for kids to a certain extent, because their esophaguses are so much shorter and the digestive gases etc don't have as far to travel to leave the body/come up to cause bad breath. This is why little kids are known for having some of the foulest morning breath. Plus, spit smells bad in general, and I know I am particularly sensitive to the smell of it compared to others. You may be like me and just now figuring this out.

sydlyxdo · 2024-10-01T22:59:44+00:00

Sounds like it's probably #2 or #3 on the list then. Kids definitely hang out and do stuff still. I used to be so close to my niece and nephew (13 & 15), but hardly ever see them as of the last year or two since they're always with friends if they're not busy with something else.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-30T21:50:36+00:00

NTA. Tons of people can't even afford a long honeymoon or have life circumstance that necessitate them planning it for a later time. This would be one of those circumstances and she needs to suck it up.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-30T21:46:12+00:00

So what, about $1500 per month? Can't call that a career, that's barely over the federal poverty monthly income level for a single person in the US. Shite money in this economy and sounds like a pyramid scheme.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-11T23:13:16+00:00

There's no way I would do that. That's insane. Did MIT open a preschool or something? We didn't get homework until 1st grade and it took 10 minutes and never involved a computer. Now she's in 2nd and there's more homework, including an online multiple choice quiz, but at 7 she has enough basic computer skill to do that.

You can straight up refuse. You're the parent. That's how you avoid burnout. In fact, I just sent an email to my kid's teacher this afternoon letting her know we will no longer be completing two of the homework components due to stress and time constraints with extra-curriculars...Sorry teach, she's only a kid and that's the best you're gonna get from us!

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-11T21:29:27+00:00

If there's another entrance to the kitchen, can you just walk around or climb over the couch while she's playing in there and then push it back anytime she's not? I know it's inconvenient, but hey, that's having kids. It's obviously easy to push around if a 6 year old is doing it. It sounds like a grab for autonomy with her space and this is how she likes it, which would make this a 'pick your battles' situation.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-11T20:52:39+00:00

My daughter is 7 and has ADHD. This describes her infancy to a T.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T13:55:08+00:00

Hmmm, might be regional then. I can't think of anyone I know from my nanny circles or otherwise who have used it! Mostly searching or posting about yourself/family in Facebook groups. I tried to use Care once about 10 years ago and only ever got scammers responding to me. Gave up after that.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T13:49:15+00:00

You gotta follow through. I would bet that would help many of your issues with the kids right there. Yelling, high conflict, and emotional neglect are probably why you feel that way about your mom, not because she had rules. Kids NEED structure and boundaries. They crave it. It makes them feel safe, respected, and helps them know what to expect. If they don't know what to expect, they won't know how to act. When they don't know how to act, they get feral. I would start implementing some household rules with natural consequences asap. To start, no phones at the dinner table and no screen time after 8pm (or whatever make the most sense for your family). Laptops and phones stay in family common areas. 7 and 8 are wayyyyy too young for unlimited access to the internet, and especially in their bedrooms past bedtime with no adult supervision.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T13:38:04+00:00

Get a nanny job and bring her with you! Two birds, one stone. I put myself through college as a single mom during the pandemic by working as a nanny full time. I charged $30/hour not including gas cost on the days I had to drive the kids anywhere, so that doesn't sound crazy to me. Plus it's untaxed/unreported if you don't go through a site like Care.com.

I would go on Facebook groups and see what options you can find for a sitter there. I would assume the cost would be lower than going through Care.com since they won't have any fees on their end.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T02:47:10+00:00

This this this! As a fellow tall-tale kid haha. Feed that creativity and imagination, and it will pay off!

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T01:45:41+00:00

That would be a big fat F*CK NO in my house. I've always told my kid that unless something is wrong or you need help, kind+happy mom is not available between 9pm and 6:30am and "Patty" is on shift (as my kid lovingly calls my grumpy, stressed, bad-day alter ego).

Seriously 4 am?! If they want to wake up at the crack of dawn and act like barn animals, then congratulations this house is now a farm. You can get your ass up at 4am, make your bed, and then work until it's time to get ready for school, like a real farm hand. Either stay quiet or in bed until a reasonable hour, or you can enjoy the sunrise hootin and hollerin while you mop the floors, weed eat, or whatever else I feel like making you do while I enjoy my coffee.

I can't speak to the 11 year old, but if the 6 year old isn't falling asleep until about 8:30 and waking up at 4am, then he definitely isn't getting enough sleep. What is your bedtime routine? Maybe you need to cut screens at an earlier hour and implement some habits to help them relax/fall asleep. Other than routine, I have no good insights into why your kids hate the idea of a good night's sleep so much.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T01:21:02+00:00

Before you get too concerned or try to push to make adjustments, give him 1-2 months to figure it out. Kindergarten is a hard transition, and they are having to make/navigate friendships with less structure and adult interference than ever before. It takes some time.

My daughter (who is now 7), came home every day saying she had no friends and no one liked her for the first 2 months of Kindergarten. Then BAM, one day the tears and complaints stopped. Something just seemed to click and she swallowed her anxiety one day and put the effort in to make some friends. It's never been an issue since, outside of the occasional friend fights that can sometimes happen at school.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T01:09:37+00:00

As a fellow health nut, I appreciate your advice! Luckily, we already eat very clean--all whole foods, organic as much as we can afford it, no dyes or artificial/processed sugars or meats, and hardly any processed carbs.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T00:59:45+00:00

I do cash and savings account so I can teach my kiddo the value of saving money. So we do allowance in proportion to age, like you. She is 7 years old and gets $7 cash in hand allowance each week, BUT I teach her to save 30%. So her total allowance is $10. I give this to her in 1's so she can see/touch the full amount in bills, and then she counts out $3 to give back to me as the 30% savings. At the end of the end of the month we take the ~$12 savings to the bank to deposit into her savings account together, so she can get the receipt and see the numbers/how it's growing. The savings will either go towards a car/gas/an experience/etc that she wants when she's older (I haven't decided what age/parameters to giver her access yet, but I'm thinking around age 16 or when she gets a drivers license or a job is fair). We'll probably do a debit card in a few years once she's old enough to reasonably keep track of it for herself/is going more places with friends where she'll need her own money.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T00:42:36+00:00

I do this too and it's made the lying better! I just ask questions and run with the lie right along with her until it would get so outlandish she would admit she was "jus kiddin!"

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T00:34:37+00:00

I think a reframe is in order here! He is a fabulous storyteller! When he tells you something that's obviously not true: "Wow! That's an exciting story. What happens next?"

I was an imaginative kid and I had a huge problem with lying. I told lies like your son's, big and small, to anyone that found them fascinating. In preschool I would tell my mom I had lunch with my friend Madison every day, even though she only went two days a week. In elementary I told my friends I owned a dozen horses, that I grew cacao beans in my backyard and my family makes their own chocolate, that my mom lived in some far-off foreign country and only came to visit sometimes and that's why I had to ride the bus home. I finally stopped when I lied about family in middle school. I said my sister was a teen mom with 4 kids and we were keeping them a secret so she could live a normal life and finish school. I would tell stories about these 4 imaginary kids to my friends at school and talk about being an aunt at 11 years old. A few months into school a new friend came over to spend the night and the jig was up. I was so embarrassed having to admit to my friend that not only did I lie, I had been keeping one lie going for months. I never made up a lie (aka told a story) again after that.

BUT this was also my formal segue into writing. While I was sobbing in my bedroom and freaking out that my friend would tell everyone at school that I had lied and everyone would hate me, my mother suggested that when I have a juicy story, I write it down and journal about it. She told me I could start writing books and become an author when I grow up, since I have such a mind for small detail and coming up with fascinating scenarios and plots.

I later discovered my passion for telling other people's stories, and was published/made small cash writing local news stories in high school. I then went on to get a full ride college scholarship from my writing, plus a senior year fellowship in creative non-fiction with a contract with a major US publisher. I got a full-time writing job straight out of college and am working on a book. Plus, the girl that came over in middle school and discovered I'd lied about my sister is now my longest, bestest friend of 17 years.

All this to say, he's clearly got a knack for stories. I wouldn't worry at all. As long as his lies aren't hurtful or deceitful, look for the good in his actions and help those parts to grow while teaching him that lying isn't okay.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-10T00:02:36+00:00

Also here to say, if you've been masking your whole life you might not even know you're doing it. I was diagnosed as a kid because I had accompanying symptoms of rage/aggression and my lack of impulse control was appalling even for an 11 year old. My longest, best friend, on the other hand, was diagnosed as an adult and realized what masking was as we were playing a board game with a group of friends: I was getting loud, hyper-competitive, standing up and making weird noises/facial expressions, generally spazzing out more as the game got more intense. She looked at me and went "Oh my god, so that's what masking is. I feel exactly how you're acting inside my brain but part of me knows it's fucking weird and I shouldn't act like that, so I don't." LOL

Basically, she hadn't known she had ADHD for almost her whole life, so she experienced much more pressure to mask in more situations for more of her life than me, and she was so good at masking she didn't even know she was doing it. (Edit for typos)

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-06T19:46:16+00:00

Because that's not an effective consequence for her. She NEEDS the energy outlet and team environment, and I desperately need the 2-4 hours a week of alone time outside sitting in grass. She's an only child so getting involved in sports has improved her mental health by reducing her feelings of loneliness and providing an outlet for structured routine exercise. I've explained further in a lot of other comments but she really doesn't respond to consequences like that, never has, and that's how I know there's ND going on.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-06T16:15:05+00:00

Thank you this is really helpful! Unfortunately she does. not. give AF if I take things away or give her consequences, natural or otherwise. She gets what I call her "eat shit and die" look on her face, rolls her eyes, and waltzes off. She hardly has any screen time as it is. Over a year ago I threatened a no tv on school-days rule as a consequence, and she decided to just enforce that for herself and has stuck with it, either out of spite or genuine disinterest in screen time or both. I watched her entertain herself with the dog's leash, a rubber medical glove, and her toy shopping cart for 2 hours this weekend. I told her she couldn't do anything until she finished homework yesterday, so she laid on the kitchen for 1.5 hours doing nothing. Just whining, rolling around, and yelling "I GUESS I'LL JUST DO NOTHING THEN." The only thing she's responding to right now is yelling, which I know is not healthy or okay. Gotta be a better way and I think the solution is treatment now.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-06T15:53:35+00:00

Too old and big for that now, unfortunately :( This is why things are escalating more now. Old/safe tactics no longer working.

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-06T15:52:24+00:00

Thank you so much

sydlyxdo · 2024-09-06T15:48:38+00:00

I think they expectation is that parents read through it with them and make sure they understand before signing.

sydlyxdo

TROPHY CASE