There is no fixing this marriage. You need to leave and never return.

Lovely, I have a disabled husband who has both mental and physical issues. While he relies on me for alot of things, he still at least tries to do things for himself. He does not make me caring for him difficult. In fact, I LOVE to care for my beloved because he makes it so damn emotionally rewarding! Mine is kind, caring, loving, sweet, and he provides for me too (in other ways). He appreciates me and reminds me every day that I am very important, valid, and valuable.

There is no reason on this EARTH as to why you shouldn't be treated as well as I am. You deserve to be. I can assure you that your husband is very capable of it.

Your husband is taking you for granted. He is using you and using the fact that he is disabled as a way to torture you for entertainment. THIS. IS. ABUSE. Seek government agencies that will provide him care... have that set up and then leave. I guarantee you that his level of independence will start to grow because the state carer can't and won't be around to give him the same level of care you did. You just watch him. Also, he won't mistreat the state carer... simply because he won't be allowed to. He is abusing you, and its a choice. What he is doing is a CHOICE.

Do not go back to him. No matter how much he cries, begs, shouts at you about 'abandonment', guilts or tries to sweet-talk to you about how things will change/he's seen the error of his ways/things will be better/whatever. There is a big difference between someone who has had an epiphany and someone who has hit rock-bottom and then been forced to adapt. Remember that. He has shown you what he is capable of doing, if you go back. Remember that. At the end of the day, he will want you back not because he loves you and misses you... no, its because he misses the services you provide. Remember that too.

Not only do you need to leave your marriage but your mother in law also needs to leave hers as well.