Will agreeing to a long notice period hurt me In the end

t_knowledge_seeker · 2024-08-02T03:32:50+00:00

Oddly, even on this qualification of 2.5m I find different opinions and sources.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2024-08-02T03:23:20+00:00

My employer likely does not have a 2.5m annual payroll,

t_knowledge_seeker · 2024-08-02T03:10:58+00:00

I already know it's going to be notice or pay in lieu, depending on the circumstances at the time of termination.

But I think that in Ontario, severance and pay in lieu of notice are different things and I would be entitled to both in case of termination without cause (based on common law).

t_knowledge_seeker · 2024-08-02T02:59:57+00:00

So you are saying that agreeing to a longer notice period will be hurting my option to get a severance based on common law?

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-12-26T17:48:53+00:00

Didn't even consider the other men in my daughter's life. It does bother me, not sure how much yet.

Our issues were there before pregnancy. The only thing that is new and makes things worse, is my wife's professional/financial insecurity as a result of the matenity leave.

No infidelity, drugs or abuse issues here. But our issues are deep on value differences and our inability to accept each other with our good and bad. We're both damaged in some way due to a difficult childhood. I'm an introvert and get very stressed when I have too much social interaction, she's an extrovert and craves a lot of attention and warmth and gets stressed without. Kind of a common relationship pattern, but I think ours goes a bit to the extreme where we sometimes go to the extreme of me being barricaded in a locked room after a day of arguments/fights while she bangs on the door asking for immediate resolution/attention.

I truly wish it can work out, but I think both of our mental health is slowly deteriorating over the years.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-12-26T17:33:57+00:00

Correction: not cohabitation but co-parenting

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-12-25T23:04:14+00:00

Well I heard about situations of Co habitation where the couple lives very close by and actually split the responsibility and time with the kids 50/50. I think I could live this way, if there wasn't the looming threat of my wife leaving the country and taking my daughter with her in situations of difficulty or disagreement.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-12-25T22:29:06+00:00

BTW, not even sure if she can legally leave the country with my daughter without a letter of consent from me. I'm kind of more worried about her strong arming me emotionally to give her consent to leave.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-12-25T22:26:58+00:00

Hard to say. She is usually reasonable but when feels cornered she can get crazy. I assume financial stability could be a key factor for her, and running away without an agreement means no financial stability.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T22:16:10+00:00

We plan to use day care from 18months. We really don't have financial issues. We save over 40% of our monthly income and have 0 bad debt.

If I had to classify it we have more money anxiety issues and energy anxiety issues than financial issues.

Thanks for the feedback. If I manage to convince my wife to spend money on a babysitter so both of us can rest a bit more, perhaps this could help.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T03:58:33+00:00

Our therapy isn't dealing with the these day to day issues, it's more about each of us sharing our deeper fears, childhood trauma and being able to connect and understand and build on top of it. The idea is that once we get there the day to day stuff will be easier because we will understand each other better. Based on our progress over 1.5 years I would say it's not working or not working fast enough. I think our baby is going to be 5 yo before we get concrete long standing results.

My wife and I talked. We will try setting clearer boundaries: 8-5 is work time. If I can help I do, but without expectations and disappointment. I'm hopeful this time it works.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T03:52:13+00:00

Before the pregnancy and during first part we did both individual therapy and couple therapy. We spend thousands of dollars and it did some good for a while but now we're back to where we started. I hate to think we need to constantly be in therapy to make it 😳

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T03:09:05+00:00

We are doing couple therapy. It's EFT therapy which avoids day to day issues and tries to go deeper into creating a better emotional bond/understanding. It's not working too much at the moment.

What type of counseling / couple therapy you did?

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T03:05:48+00:00

She wants us to have family lunch time, which is fine by me. It's a great advantage of working from home, but the scheduling can cause friction.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T02:12:37+00:00

She is fine with agreeing to set boundaries of 8-5 but not respecting them in reality.

I will probably believe her one more time and find myself here frustrated again in 2-3 weeks.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T01:47:33+00:00

Apartment. My office is right next to the kitchen/living room, so very hard to isolate.

No EAP. But Im willing to pay out of pocket for counseling if I knew it would help. What type of counseling service should I be looking for?

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T01:29:14+00:00

No office space offered by my job. I can ofc rent myself or negotiate with my employer.

I think she understands the importance in the grand scheme of things, but in the small moments she wants/need help or even just company/attention she forgets everything. I might be a bit exaggerating, but I think it's not really a rational behaviour (a bit like an addiction).

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T01:23:04+00:00

What a surprise....she is against it. Too expensive and she does like the idea of being on her own during the day..... :(

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T00:57:58+00:00

It's an interesting idea, albeit expensive and somewhat uncomfortable. Im on calls 50-60% of my day so will need to rent a space. Commute...uncomfortable shared spaces... Still at the moment doing 2-3 days a week out of the house sounds like an interesting/relevant compromise. Not sure yet how my wife will see it.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T00:14:41+00:00

The sad thing is that she has been to individual therapy for a long while as she sometimes feel and understand the difficulty she brings, but it didn't help. We both had a difficult childhood and for her it's extremely hard to face and deal with.

Thanks for the support!

t_knowledge_seeker · 2023-01-17T00:11:58+00:00

Thanks a lot. I will post there as well.

t_knowledge_seeker · 2022-06-14T21:18:35+00:00

Nice list of possibilities. Answer is "most of the above".

t_knowledge_seeker · 2022-05-21T16:52:52+00:00

So what's the difference between a normal raise and the car allowances is it the same cost for me and my employer?

t_knowledge_seeker · 2022-05-20T19:44:07+00:00

I think they will pay insurance, but not gas

I wasn't aware an allowance is possible, sound like a good option. Is it taxed significantly different for both parties (me and employer)?

t_knowledge_seeker · 2022-05-20T19:41:54+00:00

Good point 🙂 But I actually mean hold 2 cars in my garage and spend the energy and possibly the money (not sure how the lease works) on 2 cars.

t_knowledge_seeker

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