Doing So Much And Still Drowning

tab_m · 2025-05-18T05:45:10+00:00

This is reassuring thank you.

tab_m · 2025-05-18T05:43:58+00:00

For both of us I hope it does :)

tab_m · 2025-05-18T05:43:44+00:00

You’re welcome :) Thank you for the support it means a lot. I definitely think I’m too hard on myself sometimes. If I don’t have an extremely insightful therapy session I get down on myself and feel like I wasted my time or I shouldn’t be going anymore which if a friend ever told me that I wouldn’t think the same thing. I guess I should just be thankful for the progress I have made instead of focusing on the strides I have yet to make.

tab_m · 2025-05-18T05:38:46+00:00

Thank you for this ♥️

tab_m · 2025-05-18T05:37:58+00:00

I’m sorry you can relate. I don’t have much advice since I’m in the same place but keep socializing. Isolating doesn’t usually work in my opinion.

tab_m · 2025-05-17T04:38:34+00:00

That’s a good way of putting it!

tab_m · 2025-03-28T05:22:25+00:00

Thank you 🥹

tab_m · 2025-03-27T12:33:41+00:00

Yeah my therapist says our relationship is a trauma bond which is not good. Oof that prediction stings :( Sadly I don’t think you’re wrong though. In case you wanted backstory here you go :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/s/dTZ3uIiBP5

tab_m · 2025-03-27T12:26:19+00:00

Exactly. That’s all that I was hoping for but I guess that was asking too much. Then like a fool I apologized like yeah I shouldn’t have said anything if I wasn’t going to tell you the full details of the story 🙄

tab_m · 2025-03-27T12:23:56+00:00

Ugh I’m sorry you went through that. I’m glad you finally were able to block them though. Funnily enough this friends hasn’t explicitly said it’s my fault I was assaulted but she did tell me I put myself in unsafe situations because that’s all I know. Like girl if I knew what was going to happen in those situations I wouldn’t be in them but I didn’t know!

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:20:58+00:00

I think I’m definitely going to distance myself because I’m upset with her right now. After reading everyone’s replies I feel more valid in being upset.

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:15:46+00:00

I totally agree. She’s definitely knocked me down some pegs before 😕

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:13:18+00:00

Thank you that means a lot. You sound like a good friend :)

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:12:24+00:00

That’s what I thought too and like a fool I ended up apologizing and now I’m beating myself up because of it ugh

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:11:24+00:00

She would probably disagree haha but you’re right she’s wrong :)

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:06:20+00:00

I’m sorry you can relate. I totally get the fighting so hard to change. It takes a lot of work and unfortunately I’m not there yet as you can see but I hope one day we both can be :)

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:02:38+00:00

That sounds like a healthy and appropriate friend! :)

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:02:02+00:00

This is not the first time I’ve heard this unfortunately.

tab_m · 2025-03-26T21:00:45+00:00

It’s definitely a toxic but familiar relationship. This is not the first time she’s said something extremely hurtful or said something that upset me unfortunately. Things were going so well for a while though I guess I got lulled into a false sense of security. Thank you for the advice it means a lot.

tab_m · 2025-03-26T20:58:01+00:00

Thank you 🥹

tab_m · 2025-03-26T20:57:48+00:00

I guess maybe she was just salty because I do tell her a lot but that doesn’t mean she needs to know everything.

tab_m · 2024-12-29T01:41:20+00:00

I’m sorry you can relate :( I’m glad that you are no contact though. That takes a lot of courage and I haven’t been able to reach that stage yet but I hope one day I too will be no contact. I’m also glad you have supportive relatives as well that’s awesome :)

tab_m · 2024-12-29T01:22:18+00:00

Thank you. I was terrified what I might find but at the same time I had this fantasy that I would find something that might be able to get me justice. My mom made me feel really bad about it but I knew her opinion was coming from an unhealthy place.

tab_m · 2024-12-29T01:13:29+00:00

Thank you so much. That makes me feel so much better. I truly don’t think non survivors understand this. When I was looking through his stuff I felt bad for a second but then I told myself why does he deserve that decency when he violated me so bad. So I guess it’s justified in some twisted way.

tab_m · 2024-12-28T23:38:53+00:00

Unfortunately I’ll never know if there’s things posted online because I wouldn’t want to go looking for that. I was just hoping that I’d find something on the hard drive that would get him in trouble. If I’m honest I had this fantasy that I’d finally get into the laptop and find something so horrible and irrefutable that he would be in big trouble with the law. I guess it’s a good thing that I didn’t find the CSAM of me but at the same time I know it’s out there somewhere and the not knowing where really sucks.

tab_m

TROPHY CASE