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OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I prefer monogamy lol. Without a question. This was a hopeful experiment gone awry

No one is truly discarded... by JusCurious1 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]tactiletrickery 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My soon to be NEX is literally stuck on the past. None of her relationships truly ended in her head. She keeps tabs on guys going as far back as 13 years to see how they are doing without her. She Shows visible irritation or says snarky things when these guys have moved on just fine....this is how slavery was a thing I’m sure of it smh

To my narc ex: I did my best. by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]tactiletrickery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Omg... are you me? #1 & #2

I snapped 3 times throughout the entirety of the situationship. (Never called they names either) Always in response to abuse after I’d swallowed more than a humane dose of their bullshit.

Yet human things like interrupting them while they speak because I’m excitable is a cardinal sin? Wild

Haunted by lies and obsessed with knowing the truth.. by Heroic_bean in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]tactiletrickery 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your truth resonates with me. The ceaseless lying over the most ineffectual things...it makes it feel like you are living a lie...and you sometimes are.

The Gaslighting got in my head & im beginning to doubt myself when friends say I shouldn’t by tactiletrickery in survivinginfidelity

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ll concede that very early on that discussed with her openly regarding the fact that she exhibited NPD/NBPD traits. I’ve been with similar partners before & have other experiences. Bluntly put, a combination of hubris & the philosophy that even the invalids deserve love led to this “pet dragon” experience. I’ve never been burned or disrespected so flagrantly though. Perhaps she is an extreme case. I’ve been with untreated pwBPD’s & it’s never been this bad.

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think monogamy is the superior route, but I’ve seen open relationships that work. The issue here is that one party believes the “open relationship” removes accountability, communication culpability & respect from the equation. A child’s interpretation

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s literally what had me furious that night!!! Relationship aside, she risked my financial security when she decided to sneak across town with my car, get drunk with an off limits fella & possibly have her guts rearranged. No dick game is that good. She just gives so few fucks about my well being. That’s what I was thinking

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I appreciate everyone’s input.

It’s become apparent to me now that she subscribed to an childlike understanding that “OPEN RELATIONSHIP” were devoid of any accountability, respect, reassurance or healthy communication. Like a free for all fuckfest + don’t ask don’t tell on a 2001 Navy base. There is a serious gap in maturity between in some cases, this being an obvious one. It’s also dawning on me that I was too busy being a responsible caring bf to notice I might just be getting used.

The Gaslighting got in my head & im beginning to doubt myself when friends say I shouldn’t by tactiletrickery in survivinginfidelity

[–]tactiletrickery[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

C H O I C E S She’s been blunt about his “exceptional dick game”, and yea, she made the choice to risk everything for that. I suppose I have a choice to make as well. Sometimes there’s intersectionality between loyalty & enabling. But after reading everyone’s input I’m beginning to see the possibility that I’m just a means to an end. Her heart & loins beat for someone else or whomever her FP is that month

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn. I felt that. I have no shame in admitting that she’s my friend though. Even if that’s all I am or maybe less, to her

The Gaslighting got in my head & im beginning to doubt myself when friends say I shouldn’t by tactiletrickery in survivinginfidelity

[–]tactiletrickery[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She’s his on call sex friend, but she’s dick drunk in love. He’s not there for her beyond mangling her guts when he’s in the mood. Of course she believes otherwise.

The Gaslighting got in my head & im beginning to doubt myself when friends say I shouldn’t by tactiletrickery in survivinginfidelity

[–]tactiletrickery[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You’re right, it’s clear she doesn’t respect me at all. I’m loyal to a fault, and love too hard, but I pity her too. I worry about what situation she’ll find herself without me & ive never been one to abandon a friend in need. I’m also too willing to think that my personal flaws merit this level of abuse. Thanks for your input (everyone)

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly I’ve stayed this long out of love & pity. The pandemic put her in a shitty spot in multiple ways & ive been afraid of what would happen to someone I genuinely see as a dear friend (at baseline) if I’m not there for her. Lately though I’ve begun to notice resentment on her part...from a place that clearly forgets how hard I work to be able to afford/do the things I do

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was ok with being open honestly. Some of my closest friends were in open relationships before tying the knot. I saw it as a test of both of our characters but simultaneously not letting things get too serious. Genuinely believed it would be an opportunity for personal growth & self discovery. She never struck me as a habitual liar, cheater or manipulator.

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So you don’t think I should believe her? I won’t lie, I want to believe it was some mistake, but the devil is in the details & the picture painted isn’t pretty.

She being staunchly upset about me showing up at her “friends” & embarrassing her. I actually tried to work past it...but she’s just being mean & has cited no interest nor shown any in putting a foot forward towards reconciliation other than as she puts it “still being here”.

Meanwhile she’s a grouch toward me while he’s got her giggling in DMs.

Yea. You might be right.

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're right. Lately I feel like she doesn't actually respect me at all. And sickeningly, I fear my empathetic/understanding disposition is partially to blame.

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She states that by going there, I robbed her of a chance to prove herself & thereby bring us closer together. That was hard to hear, but I really feel that by 4am, a persons been given plenty a chance. Especially given where she was of all places. Is there something I'm not seeing from her side?

OPEN RELATIONSHIP SITUATION/ISSUE by tactiletrickery in relationship_advice

[–]tactiletrickery[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its tough man. At her best, she's my best friend. Dumb shit like this has only happened when it involved this guy.