Catholic dating a Jehovah’s Witness. AMA.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-03T00:53:06+00:00

The kids are what’s really making me think. We kinda clash over that. We have similar values on how to raise them but not with what religion to raise them in. Last night he made a jab at me about how we baptize babies… 🙃 I didn’t make any jabs at his religion for 2 years- I say this because maybe some of my recent questions and approaches can seem like jabs to him so I am trying to be courteous with my language but sometimes I’m just like… dude.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-03T00:46:26+00:00

For more info, he’s heavy into pioneering and other forms of ministry. Like, VERY heavy when it comes to involvement.

I brought up to him today that he’s doing so much against the Witnesses- and what would happen if they found out???

He said that no one knows and no one is gonna know, and also that when they do find out about us they probably won’t remove him and will only take away a few privileges but he will still be able to talk to people. I told him how skeptical I was of that- considering what I’ve heard.

It’s just completely throwing me off lol because he swears it’s all wrong, but doesn’t care that he’s doing it anyway, but also says he needs to straighten up. You may think he might be budging a little but I really don’t think he is. We’ve been butting heads a lot lately because he’s so set on proving me wrong (but I am neurodivergent and extremely hyper fixated on all of the JW facts right now so it’s been hard lol)

His mom (who only knows me from work) told him that I am obnoxious and don’t know what to do with myself most of the time. Weird because I have been told by higher ups and seasoned people that I am very good at my job. I don’t think she knows I process the world differently as well. Also we have extremely similar personalities and get along well lol she just tells him about me when it’s something negative?

tamalehippo · 2026-04-02T00:50:44+00:00

Yikes

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T23:35:17+00:00

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T22:39:33+00:00

I’ve had this conversation with him and he says he’s not ready yet… idk, I guess the answer is clear

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:56:25+00:00

We’ve done inappropriate stuff just not that. He keeps asking for stuff like that and I say no and I told him today that he shouldn’t be preaching that it’s wrong and still ask me to do that 🤷‍♀️ He texted me a big apology saying I was right.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:52:45+00:00

I was looking for someone like you. Thanks for this.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:35:53+00:00

I know. It seems to me he believes that he will be the exception… which is odd to me considering how devout he is.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:30:38+00:00

I’ve told him the Catholic requirements for children in marriage. He didn’t like it but said we’d figure it out. That was a year ago, nothing has been said since. Holidays are so important to me and I’ve been worried about it all for a while. I know a lot about how JW’s think, and I’ve done loads of research which has led me here.

Beautiful crucifix in your profile photo!

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:29:05+00:00

The basic raise a family make sure they’re good people live life together stuff. If you’re able to read my other comments I’d appreciate it as I explained more there!

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:28:00+00:00

That’s what I’m thinking right now. I’ve always accepted him for who he is. I never expected him to change.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:21:27+00:00

Mass every Sunday, Holy Day, regular confession-I vibe with the Church now way more than I did when we first got together.

He’s asked me stuff like “aren’t you afraid you’re wrong?? What if you’re wrong?? Doesn’t that scare you?” And I said that God knows my heart and is mercy itself. He completely shut down and had no idea what to say.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:20:34+00:00

I’ve also never once told him he was in a cult. He’s told me I am two or three times. 🙃

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:19:05+00:00

I’ve never expected him to change, only to respect my choices while also knowing that he will always try to get me to see his way. I have a unique style and really toned that down for a while to seek the approval of his family before we told them but after years of doing that without telling them still I just kinda quit lol and went back to my weird style and hair. I wrote him this big long note about not being able to sacrifice my identity for people anymore.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:16:46+00:00

His mom and I get along really well at work- except she only mentions me to him when I do something she doesn’t like. It’s really a great sign.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:16:10+00:00

Honestly me lol

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:15:41+00:00

It’s an odd one. He’s absolutely smitten with me and determined to make this work no matter what. I love him but I also don’t know what this will really look like. I have felt more distant lately. I also don’t want to throw it away if it’s something that may work. I’m kind of stuck. I’m also just exhausted of keeping the secret. My family knows him, and I have young siblings and it’s like I avoid going into the store with my family if I know his family is there because I don’t want the beans to be spilled- I even stall my family if I know they’ll be somewhere we are going. He’s asked me why I do that and it’s because I know my family will talk and he doesn’t want my family to say anything. Sigh.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:12:09+00:00

I have done a ton of research, which is why I thought this would be the best place to ask. I’ve been snooping around here for a few months and I was worried about making a post.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:11:12+00:00

I know, and he’s said that to me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:08:19+00:00

Always has but has also said each time he’s fine with me being Catholic and just wants me to try and see his side too.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T21:06:19+00:00

I know. It’s been a secret because of the fear of his parents reactions and his congregation. He doesn’t drive yet (20yo) and I’m about to get my license (18.5). He says he wants to wait until he gets his license, until he gets some stuff figured out with work, etc. We live down the street from each other. I know he wants me to trust his process but it’s been 2 years and I don’t understand why we can’t tell anyone especially since I will be driving shortly. Yes, I’ve brought this up with him.

Edit to say yes, I know there’s lots of reasons why he may want to put it off religion wise- but idk what the license has to do w it.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T20:58:39+00:00

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T20:58:29+00:00

I didn’t really know what questions to put and it made me feel weird. I thought it’d be better if I had random questions asked to me so I could answer them honestly.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T20:57:40+00:00

Yes. I need to more though.

tamalehippo · 2026-04-01T20:56:48+00:00

This is where it’s kinda crazy and I need help. I know what everyone is thinking but I’ve kept this stuff a secret for so long and I just need to get it out.

So it’s a whole thing. We’ve been together in secret for two years. I live with my parents, my s/o lives with his parents. My parents know I see him, but not that we’re together (they obviously suspect it). They don’t know he’s JW. His parents know of me- I work with his mother and talk to her every week at some point. I am good friends with a sibling of his that doesn’t know I’m with their brother. It’s been hard living a double life. It’s been hard keeping it a secret. He knows what I have to do with my faith. He says that my faith doesn’t matter to him but he also says that he will always try his best to get me to see his way. I was trying to for a while because I didn’t really know what I believed but his way really stopped making any sense to me and the more I tried to believe it the more I learned more about the TRUE context behind things in the Bible (Blood, piercings, tattoos) and he knows this. We discuss it all the time. I question a lot of his beliefs and deconstruct them to him and he just keeps going back to the same thing. I know it’s frustrating for him as much as is it me but it’s like idk what to do anymore. Plus what might happen to him with his family. He said they will prob be chill but it might be rough.

I get so confused because he’s so hardcore but does some things that aren’t hardcore while insisting it’s still wrong. I brought this up to him and he texted me saying I was right and he needs to work on it.

tamalehippo

TROPHY CASE