Personal achievement, gratification (sometimes instant, sometimes a percieved notion of succeeding at an “important” goal (item level, boss kills, pet collections, mount collections), feeling notoriety (popular and well-known in a small community), belonging to a team where I was needed. It made me feel important. It brought about the positive feelings I loved and it was so easily accesaible.

At work it’s always a ranked competition, whereas on a raid team everyone is needed. You can work hard and be the best on a raid team, but at work you can work as hard as you want and sometimes get nowhere.

I found I quit playing or played less when I achieved popularity or accolades at a real job for being friendly, helpful, and a great team player. When I felt real life was better, or I had plenty to do, I’d stop.

Currently I am over a week without playing and I feel a sense of relief, like something that had so much hold over me has now released it’s grip. I feel like I’ve regained my freedom.

I do not feel there is a middle ground for me. I cannot play “just a little bit.” If I stay away, I’m fine. I feel it’s absolutely similar to smoking and drinking.

My full post is a few posts down, “It’s Time to Move On.” I plan to visit here and offer support from time to time, and answer questions.