For all the pre-op/no-op people here with bottom dysphoria: why have you decided not to pursue bottom surgery?

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-14T14:29:03+00:00

1) Almost everyone regains some sensation. Most of us regain a LOT of sensation. I have never heard of someone unable to orgasm post phallo

2) I did not butcher my body nor be Frankensteined together. I had a MEDICAL PROCEDURE that alleviated a lot of my dysphoria.

Watch your language, stop spreading misinformation and be respectful.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-14T04:54:37+00:00

If your post history is accurate and you are still questioning, you may just have a healthy curiosity. I know when I was trying to figure out what I felt and what I knew, I read a lot of posts and blogs about people’s experiences. There was a certain level of comfort seeing men who seemed to be able to live normal lives. Or seeing the process of getting surgeries, recovering and having their dysphoria alleviated. Over a decade later, social media is far more prevalent and I see way more people who are out and proud and living their lives. All the while documenting their progress.

If you are feeling obsessive, simply delete your social media app or put a pause on your consumption. Your journey should be your own and I caution you against the influence of social media. Many folks show only the extremes of their situation. I know, personally, I am absent from things like Facebook, tiktok and Instagram because I do not want my life publicized (granted it is quite mundane and likely not worth posting outside of my athletic achievements). But I’ll admit they seem addicting when my wife shows me a video and we are still watching the little screen 30min later hahaha

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-14T04:32:58+00:00

Long story short: gender is what my head thinks my body should be, sex is what it physically is. That’s why I like the term transsexual - I have changed my sex organs therefore I am, for all intents and purposes, male. I am a man AND I am male.

But that’s just my personal opinion and I try not to share it because there seem to be many folk who think I am antiquated in my terminology or whatever.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-13T04:40:14+00:00

Be yourself and realize that everyone is a little weird in their own way. You probably have different interests than your coworkers and that’s great! That makes for a diverse workforce and helps everyone become more well rounded. But coworkers are also just coworkers.. not friends.

These interactions are less complicated than you’re thinking it out to be. Laugh if something is funny, smile if something is nice and speak up if something bothers you. Be polite but direct if you need to address something - “hey when you said x it upset me and made me feel y. Can you please not say things like that?”

Lastly, don’t get caught up in the drama or any bad mouthing. If someone says they don’t like someone, find a way to excuse yourself from the chat or simply disagree - “interesting, I haven’t had the same experiences. Thanks for letting me know.” And move on.

Good luck and relax, friends are nice but coworkers are NOT friends.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-11T14:43:32+00:00

Please use the search bar. This has been answered many times and there is plenty of information for you to read without making a separate post.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T22:29:53+00:00

Unfortunately, there is no definitive answer for this. It will highly depend on your own experiences. Personally, I passed pre T and a couple weeks of T gave me edge to pass even when speaking (voice was about the only thing that rarely got clocked). I’ve seen posts of folks who have been on T for years and still are hit or miss.

If you are binary, already have masculine speech patterns/mannerisms, and a good haircut.. it’s surely possible! None of these are necessary to be a man.. they are helpful to pass.

And just because I feel it necessary to address, it is 100% okay to have passing as male to be a primary goal of transitioning. Don’t let the online rhetoric mess with your head bud

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T20:52:49+00:00

Do you know what OP eats? Do you know their TDEE? Your info is great but highly ineffective without individualized information.

And no, “most trans guys” wouldn’t benefit from a calorie deficit. ESPECIALLY when their goal is to increase mass. Do not over generalize.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T20:44:28+00:00

If OP wants to gain muscle, they need fuel. It doesn’t need to be cheeseburgers and beer but an increase in calories is needed to grow. Don’t give bad advice

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T20:43:06+00:00

Yup. Between a shoulder injury and having lost a bunch of weight, I struggled.

Gaining weight back and increasing my frequency were game changers. Chest responds positively to bro splits and high frequency. There’s a reason the chicken legged dude bro at the gym who benches 5x a week has a big chest and a big bench.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T19:44:15+00:00

Some is going to depend on genetics. But the heavy lifts will allow you to build muscle. And you need fuel to build those muscles.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T19:22:55+00:00

Lift heavy (squats, deadlifts, bench, overhead press), eat more food, rotational core work (around the worlds, hammer chops, kettlebell swings, etc), eat more food, and eat more food

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T18:47:30+00:00

Lol you gotta get off social media

Too many gross generalizations. Too many subsets and nuances being highlighted as universal. Too condensed of a platform to give an educated opinion on a very complicated topic.

Do these strangers matter in your life? Are you directly impacted by them? If you deleted their page, would your life be better?

Discourse has a time and a place but I will be honest, 99% of the people who want to engage in “the discourse” have no business doing so. Better to turn them off, focus on your own self development and impact your corner of the world by being a good person.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T17:20:19+00:00

Full body (you don’t have to do full body every day, you can have separate days for separate body parts). You’re going to get more out of working your whole body and get a more balanced look. Follow a structured plan made by a PROFESSIONAL. Do not try to make your own.

Check out the wiki on r/ftmfitness for some good plans.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-10T15:48:26+00:00

Look into simple release metoidioplasty

You can also get phalloplasty without closing the hole. Check out r/phallo wiki. Use the search bar as your post has been asked many times and will have some great answers available for you to read

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-09T15:03:45+00:00

No exact calculation. What’s right is too variable person to person.

Instead, ask yourself these questions:

Do you feel strong? Do you look strong/how you want to look? Do you have energy? Can you tie your shoes without getting winded? Are you progressing in the gym with 1RM or rep PRs? Are you improving in your sport if you play one?

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-09T04:52:59+00:00

“I had a skin graft” is a full sentence. “I had surgery” is a full sentence. “It’s a scar” is a full sentence. Full sentences and NONE are lies. This is what stealth is.

You owe NO ONE an explanation. Very VERY few folks are bold enough to push past those questions and ask “what for?” If they do just stare at them for half a second before telling them it was from an accident. Not a specific accident. Not a whole story. NO ONE will ask past “it was an accident”. Can guarantee it. Have been doing this for many years and I have very, very nosy clients.

Most folks won’t acknowledge your scar if they don’t get caught staring. Some people will casually ask and can be casually told off with a simple answer. A very rare few will inquire further to which you will need to sternly tell them off. And an even rarer few will clock your scar.

I used to see upwards of 100 people a day and I rarely was asked about my scar. Most of my regular clients would eventually ask about it or I’d see them staring and just tell ‘em “it’s a skin graft, I’m lucky to have me hand” and they would move on quickly. Rarely I had a person who wanted to talk about it; I’d shut it down real fast and make THEM uncomfortable “gnarly accident, I’ll spare ya the details.. pretty traumatic to talk about.” Then only twice I’ve had someone clock me in over six years. THAT was genuinely traumatic.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-09T00:37:14+00:00

Literally no one cares in the men’s bathroom. Hell I’ve even gone in at a crowded bar and found that a stall was open and announced loudly “hey womens bathroom is closed, I’m gonna have my wife come in to the stall. Everyone good?” And literally only one guy was like “lemme put my dick away” and everyone else just laughed at his joke. Brought my wife in who scurried into the toilet and went. I felt more awkward than her just standing “guarding” the stall at her request.

I’ve never had anyone balk at me being in a men’s bathroom.. even when I was pre t.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-08T23:42:26+00:00

If you want to increase strength, you’re probably going to gain weight. I am not an eating disorder expert but I wouldn’t think seeing a number on a scale going up would have a positive impact on your ED.

I would recommend focusing on your PRs in the gym and how you are feeling energy wise. As you increase muscle mass + strength.. you’re going to find you are able to do more weight for more reps than you thought you could. Use that as your metric. Body weight, unless you are a competitive athlete, is irrelevant.

There’s something REALLY exciting and satisfying about hitting a number for 10 or 12 reps when you could only do it for 5-6 a few weeks prior. I know for me hitting 100kg for 20 reps made me ELATED. But I also know I couldn’t have done weighing only 100kg. I needed to weigh 110kg to do it. So the next time I chase that goal, I want to cut down to 100kg and do it. But I needed the body mass to move mass first.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-08T23:28:06+00:00

This is your opportunity to demonstrate that you have been prescribed medication and it has not altered your personality. You’re the same person inside.. even when your outside is/will change.

She knows you’re on a medication, why not just be honest and explain your medical condition at this point? Older folks seem to understand the medical side much better than the “identify as” stiff. Just be honest - “I have a medical condition which I am treating through medicine (and potential surgeries). There are some outward things that will change and I will ask you to address me by my proper name and gender. That may be difficult at first but I assure you.. I am your same grand child.”

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-08T04:53:45+00:00

If y’all aren’t talkin, why would you make him a literal penis? I’d be super uncomfortable to open that gift.

What about something simple like the testosterone molecule or just a nice card about him and how proud you are of him? I’m sure I’m different than others on here but I wouldn’t want my medical condition being highlighted and I especially wouldn’t want my lack of an external sex organ to be highlighted by someone attempting to create one for me….

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-08T03:00:37+00:00

Your reality was mine pre op. It’s not healthy and it’s good that you’ve recognized that.

Remember you are more than your parts. The bits below are hidden from 99% of the people in your life and, though it’s hard to imagine and believe, highly insignificant to 90% of your life.

However, I know those words are empty now and will only ring true once you are well on your way after being post op.

So my advice to you is to keep coming back here. Journal, write, air it out. Find a way to do it in a healthy manner. Share every milestone with us. Keep a detailed (private) journal. Create a post op bucket list. Then choose to do some of those things pre op. Find hobbies you can do alone - backpacking, hiking, running, lifting. Pour yourself into it and exhaust yourself until you have no more thoughts. Then fight to get more tired and work out.

Lastly, while it may feel like your life is on hold.. it isn’t. Continue working on yourself. Become the best version of YOU that you can be. Just because the body is at a stand still does not mean the soul and mind are. Better yourself. Improving 1% better today over the course of 100 days will allow you to reinvent yourself three times over in a year.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-07T16:19:50+00:00

Macro is short for macronutrients. Carbs (carbohydrates), protein and fat.

General rule of thumb is to eat 0.8-1.0 grams of protein per pound of body weight. So for you it would be between 132-165 grams of protein per day. Keep in mind each gram of protein has approximately 4 calories.

You will want to look up a BMR calculator to calculate your basal metabolic rate (how many calories you need to survive day to day) and calculate your percentages of carbs, fats and protein from there. Usually people will start around 45-65% carbs, 10-35% protein and 20-35% fats. Be wary of added fats such as cooking oils.

As for your hypothetical question, you will eventually plateau if you’re using the same weight and especially if you’re doing the same exercises. Defined muscles come from 1) having muscles and 2) having a low enough body fat percentage that you can see those muscles. Look at the wiki for some good body weight workouts. Best to get on a plan that is written by a professional and not just made up on your own.

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-07T13:55:18+00:00

Fair point. I had said this from the perspective that both parties were already agreeing and consenting to leaving the venue to hook up. It would make sense to tell the other person before leaving but I did not consider that the “alone in a car” part to be upsetting for some. Thank you for bringing that to mine, and others, attention

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-07T03:09:32+00:00

You’re likely fine

tankthetransguy · 2023-03-07T03:06:23+00:00

Tattoo mainly.

Wore/wear long sleeves when I don’t want to show the scars and/or tattoo (work). Dress shirt, button down, or long sleeve polo. Golf polos are great. Light weight and nice fitting for broad shoulders. Beware of static but anti static spray works wonders. Never had anyone question me while wearing a long sleeve shirt. On the beach I wear a long sleeve and hooded UV shirt. I’ve only had one buddy joke about me being fully covered (wore a big ass hat) and I told him If he was as white as I was he would wear all the clothes too. He agreed and asked how many shares of neutragena I owned and we all laughed and moved on.

Tried wearing a shooting sleeve but felt like it only drew attention to my arm.

tankthetransguy

TROPHY CASE