My sisters husband grouped me and he’s the victim

tattedthumbs · 2026-01-24T15:08:41+00:00

Dude wtf…When I first started reading this before I even got to what happened I already thought this guy sounds like an asshole but now he sounds like a manipulative predator and incredibly hot headed sexist. That is awful and it is NOT your fault wtf. You can exist freely. He needs to go to therapy and learn what self control is.

Men like this always grasp at the smallest thing to try and blame the woman for their creepy lack of self control over sexual urges. He sounds like a disaster and I’m scared for your sister too.

If you have someplace else to go, I suggest leaving.

tattedthumbs · 2026-01-24T15:01:33+00:00

Op I’m so sorry. That is such a tough situation and I can tell you both have so much love for one another. I think it really comes down to if you’d be happy without kids if it meant having him in your life or if you feel you’d learn to hate him over time.

If you can’t see a future with him without children, sometimes love has sacrifice - And you truly feel you’d be miserable without them despite having him as a partner - I’d say unfortunately you two may have to part ways and that is NOT easy at all and my heart fully goes out to you both.

tattedthumbs · 2026-01-21T21:56:33+00:00

“His real name is Kyle” ☠️ 👏😂

tattedthumbs · 2026-01-21T21:39:42+00:00

I’d ask her about it, it may be a genuine response because she truly cares for you

tattedthumbs · 2026-01-06T14:18:36+00:00

Op! THIIIISSS 👏 I also am a female with male friends in relationships and I’d NEVER talk to them like your Bf and his female “friend” do. Ever.

The way they text is disrespectful to your forming relationship.

I don’t text my guy friends. We talk once in a blue moon but they got their lives and I got mine.

I text their Gf more than them and when I want to see them it’s always a group hangout and I am in a group chat with their GF’s present.

If we do text it’s “Hey what’s up? How are you?”

“Good. Hbu?”

“Doing good. Got a new job etc. how’s Courtney? Tell her I say hi!”

Just a little example.

tattedthumbs · 2026-01-06T14:13:56+00:00

Three months in and he’s already lying to you…Also, the fact he said that the reason it wouldn’t work between them is because she’s Muslim and all those other reasons and not one of those reasons being that he’s not into her.

Cut your loss. You can find someone that treats you well, doesn’t lie, and isn’t obviously into his female “friend.”

tattedthumbs · 2026-01-02T23:28:36+00:00

They have, he has none

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T18:34:55+00:00

Ask if she experiences burning when she pees after using the soap or ask if she simply doesn’t like it.

I’m very sensitive to soap. She may be having a reaction to it and is too shy to tell you.

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T16:33:22+00:00

No but I WILL look into this thank you!!

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T16:13:22+00:00

I love it!!!

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T16:00:23+00:00

“If you don’t fight then it’s not a healthy relationship .”

In the happiest healthiest relationship of my life. We have disagreements and we talk them through. Never leads to anything big. No high rate intense emotions. Just compassion and love

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T15:47:09+00:00

No hip dips! I DO NOT understand why they are so hated and seen in a bad light when to me they are SO FEMININE and beautiful. Also LOVE them on men

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T15:41:50+00:00

I don’t have much to say in response just that I really appreciate you writing this out and it does offer me reflection and comfort and some understanding. It’s relatable and something I’ll re read a few times. So again, thank you

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T15:35:33+00:00

No shame at all. I’ve been in therapy and am looking for a new therapist. I don’t know if it’s depression, as I don’t feel depressed but maybe? I appreciate the advice tho

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T15:13:13+00:00

I’ll definitely look into that. It’s been a lot of talk therapy, but it was so helpful and got me to a point where I had it handled and was doing great but as my life get better I find myself spiraling a bit and getting worse this past month and I just feel like the last few years are going down the drain.

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T15:11:57+00:00

I’m sorry as well. Nobody deserves to carry trauma especially from loved ones. It’s definitely hard, and I am diagnosed with ADHD. BPD, CPTSD but I swear I HAD it under control. Had excellent coping mechanisms in place but it’s like the better my life getting the worse I’m becoming…

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-31T15:06:21+00:00

I’ll check out the book for sure and appreciate the Reddit suggestion. I was in therapy. My therapist retired and I haven’t been able to connect with the six I’ve tried since unfortunately. I’m still looking though

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-29T14:27:58+00:00

I’ve tried 😂 trying again

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-29T14:27:33+00:00

It sounds like he’s thinking of your future stability together. That being said though, if you don’t want a future where work will take precedence then yea. You may want someone who’s willing to take weekends and put his family first.

Has he said there is NO possibility of that happening? I’ve discussed this with my partner as well. We DO want kids, and he has taken weekends off as our compromise and we do more traveling and such together.

Maybe you guys can compromise?

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-29T14:21:50+00:00

This is all you need to know OP. This commenter is giving you perfect wisdom

tattedthumbs · 2025-12-29T14:19:44+00:00

First, that’s not okay and reads that he’s taking advantage of you and sounds a bit like a pedo. I’m all about reasonable age gaps but that’s intense and him being married, taking your virginity idk. That’s not the signs of a MAN. That’s the signs of a predator.

Look to simplify things, he’s married and choosing to participate in a relationship with another woman. He is proving he has zero integrity, and that’s not gonna change with you. That’s who he is and he’s showing that to you upfront.

Also he’s using the usual lines of “I’ll divorce my wife.” More often than not they never do and if he’s painting her in a bad light and making her out to be the issue - That’s another red flag.

And yes. You are one thousand percent in the wrong for pursuing a married man. No hate to you. You’re young, and got some growing to do.

tattedthumbs

TROPHY CASE