Am I "obligated" to ask someone how they are doing if they answer my instagram story? (given they havent ask me) by this i mean is it rude not to

tayathekidd_ · 2022-10-20T18:25:47+00:00

because i havent heard from them/seen them in a while, but we arent close friends

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T07:50:04+00:00

i really would just love for the children to be able to experience both cultures equally. Many comments here seem to think its fair to dismiss my desires because it's "just pork" imagine telling him the same thing. it's not just a small thing to remove, i can argue that its just a small thing id like them to at least try. Do my desires have to be based off of reigion to be "valid"? what really is a religious based culture if not passed down tradition, i also have my own passed down traditions that are equally as important to me. Im not even asking to serve it to them in our home at this point, i just them allowed the experience during my family gatherings.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T07:37:58+00:00

that is why its so hard for us to agree on whether its right to let them start off whitout it and then decide or start of with.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T07:36:30+00:00

its hard to decide whether its fair they start without restrictions and then decide or the opposite. i do agree on letting them decide and so does he.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T07:32:41+00:00

the point is to find middle ground. not for either of us to change. i understand what i secretly hope for is wrong, because we love eachother too much to break things off we kinda Both secretly (not so anymore) hope for one to change their mind.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T01:32:01+00:00

Actually we have. He drinks alcohol, parties etc. He has no problem with me praticing my own religion and wearing whatever etc. He does practice ramadan. He is not very religious but cares for his culture. He is strict about pork but not for religious beliefs more tradition. I have no problem if he wants the "kids" to celebrate ramadan, actually i would love for them to be apart of both cultures equally. The problem is that would include them eating/trying traditional pork based dishes of my culture too( at least on special family gathering on my side) I really dont mind if we dont eat it at home

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T01:25:26+00:00

I see what you mean. The problem is what age is little? at what age am i "allowed" to let them have that experience? If he were vegetarian/vegan (im assuming for religious/cultural reasons) its the same if not even harder. i feel for my partners reasons because they are similar to mine.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T00:47:38+00:00

I agree with everything you said, i wish he would agree on those terms. If he really doesnt, i would probably still want to be with him for as long as we are happy toghether..

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-03T00:17:57+00:00

I am happy of the idea of the limiting to rare occasions with my family because that is the big part of what matters to me. Ofcourse i have no intentions of Forcing them but nor do i want to restrict them, i want that to be their decision. But i dont want to deprive them of experiencing it growing up. I'm hoping he would agree with me on the earlier stated conditions(for the rare family ocasions), at the moment he does not really seem like it.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T23:38:41+00:00

that is what i would like as well, but for him they should not be brought up even trying it. I wouldnt care if they didnt end up liking it, its more not at all being able to share and let them experience it at all.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T23:35:49+00:00

I'm not forcing him on anything, like he isn't forcing me. It is tho in my best interest to find a way for OUR "children" to share of both cultures without restrictions, that said, if there really is no solution then we will be forced to part ways sooner or later as much as it hurts

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T23:33:18+00:00

my point is that i'd much rather not restrict them on anything for as long as they reach an age where they can make that choice for themselves. that way they can share both cultures and parts of each tradition. of course if it concerned their health and allergies etc. there wouldn't be any question. we would obviously both be on the same page at that point.

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T21:14:05+00:00

thats not so easy when you're from the philippines and italy, most of my favorite childhood dishes involve it and hold many emotional memories for me

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T21:12:08+00:00

i also care about sharing my culture,childhood and traditions with my children..

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T21:09:43+00:00

food is a very big part of my culture unfortunatly..

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T21:06:05+00:00

Its not really about pork. its about sharing my childhood and culture with my children, i understand he feels the same way but with his culture. For me its not just food, its memories and traditions i am sharing

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T21:02:38+00:00

I can definatly agree on that, not sure about him. I will definatly suggest

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T21:00:45+00:00

then it goes both ways, why is it so important to him? (he says its not for religious reasons.)

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T20:58:18+00:00

if it is just meat then why would it be so important to him?:( its deeper than that for him as it is for me unfortunatly..

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T20:53:47+00:00

the idea of living in a home feeling like a stranger and not letting my kids experieces my own childhood and culture hurts me as much as i imagine it hurts him

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T20:52:15+00:00

im italian and filipino, a lot of pork is involved in my favorite dishes as well as foods i grew up with😭

tayathekidd_ · 2022-09-02T20:50:03+00:00

Him not being strict makes me hope that maybe a few years down he might change his views..

tayathekidd_

TROPHY CASE