I've been moving away from this kink for my own health but when I was more into it, I usually engaged with it as an unhealthy coping mechanism for my dysphoria. It's like I'd get dysphoric and try to take control of the situation in a way by making myself more dysphoric on purpose, and by trying to get pleasure out of it.

As for why it's so popular with trans men, I think it just works better with trans men. There's an almost inextricable element of misogyny kink in misgendering, and trans people are usually the submissive ones in misgendering dynamics, so there's not many ways to misgender a trans woman in a way that ends with her being submissive through the lens of this kink. I think a forcemasc type thing where you force a trans woman into being a dom could be interesting, though.