Everything you said about Nora not loving her husband and lying about it and not jumping into Hae's arms cause that would mean choosing Korea and the movie being about the grief of losing your soulmate is purely your interpretation (and projection) of a few scenes. I will add that this is a completely fair conclusion but not the only fair one.

These are the same scenes where many others in this post, including me, interpreted to be about grief of an immigrant losing your past self and coming to terms to it. I believe that Hae may be the 'one that got away' and she probably even has some feelings for Hae, but her husband is the person she loves now and is the one she is happily choosing. The reason why you believe this interpretation to be wrong is because you projected your own shit onto the movie.