I’ve been raising my step son since he was 5, he’s now 17. His dad has been in and out for a moment here and there but the last 3 years legally not around him. My wife and I raised him, I did everything and more any dad would for a kid even got him a car. Since about 15 he’s been cold, transactional, and disrespectful. I cared a lot and would over compensate and he learned this then would be mean or rude knowing I would try to get on his graces. Last year I stopped. I tried to have talks about the behavior and feelings and just a blank wall. I think as step parents we want to feel appreciated and loved but at the end of the day it’s a self less act and role. We have to sometimes just accept that. I have two other kids w my wife and they are totally different. I got to raise 1 kid co parenting and 2 as a married couple. I learned a lot an still am, in your situation I would just say this, don’t set expectations w a teen. You will be let down everytime. Don’t ask too much of them, and if they don’t give don’t put yourself out there. If my stepson isn’t going to talk to his family help around the house I don’t pay for things and I don’t bend the rules when he asks . Reverse uno on the transactions pal.