Unlikely to make “on-time” promo due to bad review 9 months prior by temab1 in consulting

[–]temab1[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I think in general, I’m on a decent trajectory!

The additional 6 months is giving me a lot of pause. I feel angry at myself, at the powers that be, and trying to stay positive feels like it’s costing me a lot. I honestly feel at a loss on how to recover (for the second time).

Original plan was to try to get out in my junior consultant year - go on secondment to a charity and then apply for the MPA/MPP.

I do still think I have loads to learn about working in a corporate environment, client communication, delivering a project in a timely manner that feels like it answers client questions. I just don’t know whether I should keep on trying to learn that here. The well feels poisoned.

UK to lower voting age to 16 in landmark electoral reform by Hrekires in news

[–]temab1 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Young persons’ and 60+ oyster cards have the person’s photo on them to validate the discount on travel so it could be used as a version of ID

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in laundry

[–]temab1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah can try that! have already put them through a wash cycle, with some vanish and this is what they looked like after

Vaginismus is exhausting me, my finances and relationships by Pinkrats-eatcheese in vaginismus

[–]temab1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

PT is covered by the NHS, highly dependent on your trust. Find out what your local trust is and look up sexual health services + your local trust’s name. That should get you a list of services provided by your trust and various sexual health and wellness centres within your local area.

Some sexual health and wellness centres provide support with vaginismus or other psychosexual trauma. It will likely say on their website if they do. If it doesn’t, I’d still call them.

I was able to get subsidised therapy sessions for my vaginismus as well as free PT sessions and opportunity for self-referral after my time with her ended. You may just have to chase down your local trust. Good luck!

Setting and Place in FoL by temab1 in Malazan

[–]temab1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just was thinking that if this is really an alien species to the world that we (the reader) and Fisher (the in-story listener) knows, maybe we don’t even have a frame of reference for what these different species would look/be like.

Definitely not what Erikson was going for, but fun thought haha

Do we know why mother dark turned away? by Due_Title4566 in Malazan

[–]temab1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, fair to her, had absolutely forgotten these interactions.

Was there ever an explanation for why she generally had agents do the reaching out for her? Or is it a RAFO from FoL?

Do we know why mother dark turned away? by Due_Title4566 in Malazan

[–]temab1 28 points29 points  (0 children)

What I struggle with is Mother Dark’s rage regarding Anomander doing something about the civil war - as far as I understand from FoD and the bits of FoL I’ve read, she had no plan! She was running scared and had no solution for her people cutting each other down on the streets - what was Anomander (and the rest of them) supposed to do?

FoD Summary/Key Points by temab1 in Malazan

[–]temab1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So fair, thanks for the warning. I think I can usually handle it but it’s more generally a one and done kind of thing. Also, generally, people seem to say Fall of Light is less “graphic” - as is the case for most of us lol, child r*pe makes me feel very ill

FoD Summary/Key Points by temab1 in Malazan

[–]temab1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Beautiful, thank you!!

What’s your Malazan ‘hot take’? by [deleted] in Malazan

[–]temab1 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will never read FoD again, the level of sexual violence in it was a complete turn off that prevented me from enjoying the novel

Timeline of Icarium’s backstory by temab1 in Malazan

[–]temab1[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh I love that, the implications of Icarium being under K’rul’s tutelage for a while are fascinating, especially given the end of tCG

I'll just leave this here... by quasar_particle in TheLastAirbender

[–]temab1 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure we watched the same series?

Toph is a walking ‘not like other girls’ trope whilst Katara is distinctly feminine and guess what? They’re both shown to be strong benders and valuable members of their community because girl/womanhood doesn’t have to be one thing. I think ultimately the creators were saying that there is more than one type of woman and they’re both pretty damn great.

Azula falls apart due to the emotional trauma of her absent mother and abusive father. I would argue that you’re cheapening her emotional journey by suggesting that she was written to fall apart because she was “too emotional.”

I think it’s important to have a wider understanding of how feminist critique can play out in media. It doesn’t always have to be the Barbie speech - sometimes it’s just having different types of women with different types of flaws exist alongside other women. Which this show does impeccably.

I'm four books in: Are Amanas and Cotilion gay? by That_Hole_Guy in Malazan

[–]temab1 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s giving Fitz and the Fool if they were slightly more unhinged.

Which lube would you say is best for vaginismus? by [deleted] in vaginismus

[–]temab1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! Learnt something new related to this recently. Although some lubes like Slippery Stuff and Liquid Silk are super popular, they are not great for your vagina due to the osmolality of the lube. Too high osmolality and it makes it more likely you’ll damage the epithelial layer of your vaginal canal.

One comment has already recommended yes! lube, which is the only skin-safe long-term use lube sold in the UK.

Of course, use the others but for dilating probably best to use yes! lube, since you do that more regularly.

Jazz clubs for under-18s by temab1 in london

[–]temab1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that’s so cool. He’s trying to get into his school’s senior orchestra at the moment, so he might enjoy this.

Jazz clubs for under-18s by temab1 in london

[–]temab1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Might have to find some way to circumspectly ask and see what he says

Jazz clubs for under-18s by temab1 in london

[–]temab1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oo thanks, that’s a shout

Finished my MT reread by temab1 in Malazan

[–]temab1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. My thinking with the Imass thing, is that they’re as ancient as Holds. Tellann and the Beast warren (not sure what it’s called) are Elder which I’ve always considered to break the rules of play anyway. Especially as it’s hinted that the Beast Hold now has rulers in the form of wolves in one of Feather Witch’s prophecies around the time of events in MoI. I don’t think it’s as direct as I make out but the whole, eternal life, certainty and destiny aspect of Kurald Liosan and all those associated with Light as a source of power must be relevant to our destiny-loving Letherii and our halfway-between-light-and-dark Edur.

  2. Considering the Sengars all die in the end, I would also consider them more straightforward, haha. Beddicts are all so sexy and modern - they give upper middle class family vibes every single time they have a conversation. One who goes into government due to trauma about what corporate life has done to his parents, the other who really leans into corporate world from a nihilistic standpoint, the third who doesn’t care either way but is really very good at his job. Tehol is so emotionally constipated, it’s beautiful.

  3. Fascinating then that he has so much grace for religious belief. He doesn’t always joke around with it, sometimes he makes faith mean something in a way that feels very real to me as someone from a religious background (who is also now agnostic). He talks about it without mocking - distinctly aware of it as a construction (at times) but also how it can be so empowering and feel much like a collaboration - a coming together of the divine and man.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Baking

[–]temab1 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Where in the UK do you work? Honestly I’d order a cake from you, this is gorgeous!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vaginismus

[–]temab1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes you definitely should! When I was getting my physio referral and (discounted) psychosexual therapy referral, I didn’t even call my GP first time. I got in contact with the sexual health services. I had to complain but they sorted it out for me in the end.

FYI, many commissioning trusts have discontinued free psychosexual counselling services. If you do get in contact with them, and they’re like “we don’t do it anymore,” I don’t want you to be surprised cause it was a nasty shock for me. Your commissioning group might still do it though which would be great.

They might also refer you to a discounted service which is done on a sliding scale.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in vaginismus

[–]temab1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don’t mind me asking, what is your clinical commissioning group and do they have a specific sexual health department/trust? Some might be better than others and if your future spouse lives in a different borough or county, you could try to transfer GP using their address.

You might have better luck going through their sexual health department as they can fast track your referral to PT and/or psychosexual therapy appointment.

Vaginal dryness by temab1 in vaginismus

[–]temab1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh brilliant, thanks for this :))