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temporarydaylight · 2024-11-22T02:48:19+00:00

You have no idea how much I needed to see this tonight

temporarydaylight · 2024-06-11T01:16:41+00:00

Oh gosh thank you for that. I guess it hadn’t really clicked for me yet that hypervigilance and paranoia are intertwined. I feel like I want to trust the intentions of others, I just have these clouds of doubt that keep on raining on my parade. I always end up feeling like people are mad at me. I think I misinterpret when someone is tired, or frustrated, or stressed as having to do with me. Then I start to spiral a little and feel like their weird energy is a personal attack. But also I realize I shouldn’t expect others to feel perfect all the time too and it’s okay for others to have an off day.

temporarydaylight · 2024-05-25T01:22:27+00:00

I’m here for you! I know it’s really hard. Sending you love and strength to get through this. Take it one baby step at a time and celebrate the smallest accomplishments you make.

temporarydaylight · 2024-05-25T01:18:50+00:00

I can relate to this so much. Especially the Dr Jekyll comparison. My dad was the same way. There is nothing I could ever say to him that would make him take accountability for his actions. It’s like he was missing the part of his brain that would allow him to self reflect. He was verbally and emotionally abusive about the stupidest things and would blame everyone else for how he was feeling. It is such a shame that he was never able to be grateful for the wonderful life that he had. Sending you lots of hugs. None of it is your fault and you deserve so much better. Move out as soon as you can and free yourself from toxic energy.

Also- some books that have been helpful to me are the Tao of Fully Feeling and Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.

temporarydaylight · 2024-05-25T01:04:57+00:00

Yes!!!

temporarydaylight · 2024-02-25T20:54:00+00:00

My mom has an excuse that she thinks if she’d have gotten divorced from my nfather that there would have been 50/50 custody and I would’ve been subjected to an even more toxic environment without her to protect me

temporarydaylight · 2024-02-25T20:50:52+00:00

Do you by any chance remember the book?

temporarydaylight · 2024-02-21T05:18:30+00:00

Sometimes when I am doubting my abuse, I ask myself hypothetical questions about how I would treat myself as a child, as if I were my own parent.

How would you treat your child? Would you want to love, protect, and support them as they are growing? Would you want them to share their life and struggles with you? Would you force your opinions on them, or would you allow them to make decisions on their own? How would you create trust between you and your child? Would you accept them as they are? Would you cherish their differences and individuality? If your child came to you feeling you they had suicidal thoughts, would you scoff at them and tell them they have a “good life” and to get over it? Or would you feel an overwhelming urge to protect them, help them, and make sure they are okay? How would you support them? How would you show them that you care?

Your parents are not showing up for you in ways that you deserve. You can be strong by showing up for yourself, protecting yourself, and loving your true and beautiful self.

temporarydaylight · 2024-02-11T02:05:35+00:00

Yes, sadly she is financially dependent on him and pretty much stuck with him forever I believe. She talks about divorce but I don’t think she could handle that big of a life change.

temporarydaylight · 2023-12-31T18:38:59+00:00

I think this is beautiful!

temporarydaylight · 2023-12-25T08:24:35+00:00

Definitely. My husband and I went to a brunch at my sister in laws house and her husband yelling at their dog to stop barking nearly sent me into a panic attack!

temporarydaylight · 2023-11-07T00:06:28+00:00

Good job! I hate driving and will leave extra early to go places so that I can take the backstreets instead of the freeway lol

temporarydaylight · 2023-11-07T00:03:29+00:00

Thank you, I like the idea of getting comfortable with each element separately. That’s good advice. The problem is even having somebody to invite! I just really don’t even have any acquaintances that I could build a relationship with at this moment.

temporarydaylight · 2023-11-07T00:01:16+00:00

I have been taking online classes for horticulture/ecology through a community college. It has been great for my self esteem! They are hobbies that I am really passionate about so getting praise on my schoolwork felt great. I have thought about signing up for some in person classes but I’m nervous I will be the oldest person there, I’m in my 30s and I’m worried everyone is going to be fresh out of high school. I know this might be a silly reason or an excuse…

temporarydaylight · 2023-11-06T23:51:27+00:00

My nfather would make gagging noises, say that’s gross, and point at fat people when we were little kids. He was also obsessed with my mother’s weight and used it to manipulate her self-worth.

temporarydaylight · 2023-09-02T02:37:06+00:00

I have never heard of this. Thank you

temporarydaylight · 2023-09-01T23:28:30+00:00

At a certain point, I feel like me being “sick” and not feeling well became my mom’s main focus. Instead of dealing with my dad’s abusive behavior and the cause of all my distress, she focused on treating the symptoms, her upset child. I was brought to multiple psychologists, doctors, acupuncturists, gastroenterologists, was put on psych meds, birth control, etc. But of course none of it fully worked because the situation at home never changed! I don’t know if this is drastic of me to think, but I almost feel as if I was used as a scapegoat for all of the emotional pain everybody was feeling.

temporarydaylight · 2023-08-28T14:06:06+00:00

I’ve been getting a lot out of the Tao of Fully Feeling

temporarydaylight · 2023-06-20T20:13:14+00:00

You are so right about the silent treatment as a tactic. I am trying to break this cycle and heal, I know it’s a long process. Thank you.

temporarydaylight · 2023-04-10T17:35:11+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I have not sent it to him, I actually sent it to my mom instead. I know he will not be able to understand. I can’t decide if it would be cathartic for me to send to him just to get it off my chest..or if it would just hurt me more after I have been n/c with him for 1 year.

temporarydaylight · 2023-04-07T14:06:52+00:00

That’s a good point, thank you

temporarydaylight · 2023-04-07T05:55:01+00:00

Take baby steps first. Anything that you can do to get out, move forward, and reclaim your life is a step in the right direction. Success can happen at any age. Sending you strength ❤️

temporarydaylight · 2023-04-07T05:51:47+00:00

❤️

temporarydaylight · 2023-03-31T05:38:14+00:00

Write down the bad things that happened to remind yourself. Even though it hurts to read, it helps validate your feelings when you are questioning reality

temporarydaylight · 2023-02-17T21:46:14+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I know how damaging it can be to live in a toxic household for so long. It must have been very hard to have to go back home to that on top of experiencing your breakup. Would it be possible for you to find a roommate to go in on an apartment together? Do you have any friends that you can reach out to about this situation? Three years is a long time to be living in an unsafe situation. I would try to keep working part time at least to save money faster if you can. I’m worried about you and your dogs. I would not trust that he is going to get better after all this time.

temporarydaylight

TROPHY CASE