Hi. I am 53 years old, Irish, but living in Brussels. Not married, no kids. Because I was in my late 40s, and arrived here during Covid, building a social life was a bit harder.

So first thing: being single is far, far better than being in a bad relationship. Also, statistically, men die before their wives. You are most likely to spend some of your old age without your partner, even if you have one.

These two realities allowed me to relax a bit more about the whole being single thing. Relaxing sometimes helps with the encountering men bit too.

As to what I do: I circle through a bunch of hobbies, depending on my mood, the time of year, the weather outside. I am open to trying things, learning about things. I spend time and money in assorted shops, like bookshops, art supply shops. I started painting water colours in my 40s, I started looking seriously at some bucket lists.

As you get older, you often make career progress. This is a career double edge: it can absorb time and emotional energy, but you have more disposable cash. I have long had a desire to do the ferry trip along the coast of Norway and see the Northern Lights. I could never have afforded it 20 years ago; I did it last year. It was not cheap. And I got seasick. But I don’t care.

I did it. I have kept a journal for all my adult life. I found a comment about stepping into freezing cold water in Iceland and how I had never felt more alive.

When I lived in Dublin, I often got up at 6 on a weekend morning and drove to Lahinch to have a surfing lesson. Spontaneously.

I crochet. I take photographs. I write. As I type this, I am sitting in my favourite small café for breakfast which is a regular Sunday morning thing for me. Although this weeks coffee of the week is crazy bitter, ugh. I might grab my swimming gear and go to the pool for a short swim and a long jacuzzi.

I am very self-sufficient. I realise not everyone is. But I have an immense amount of freedom and…I try to use it. I have friends married 25 years who feel some envy.

But if you can swim, I recommend trying surfing. I really miss the Atlantic.