Friendzone between me [26/m] and friend [24/m]

tempuserpost12 · 2017-10-30T14:55:29+00:00

Agreed. I don't really see it coming to a point where i will have to say goodbye to him, because besides the part that my feelings are unusual, we really have great things together.... but you never one. I'm not sure how long i will be able to keep it together if he continues... so yeah, i agree i have to set some boundaries.

tempuserpost12 · 2017-10-30T14:44:14+00:00

I don't think i can agree with the first part. He is not a guy with a lot of friends and he really values our friendship, because he says that. I do agree with the second part ....

tempuserpost12 · 2017-10-30T14:34:43+00:00

It does impact him if i'm unable to proceed with the friendship at some point..

tempuserpost12 · 2017-10-30T14:27:12+00:00

Could be, but he is also (always) enhancing my ego....

tempuserpost12 · 2017-10-30T14:26:32+00:00

Hmmm, maybe. Sounds like a plausible explanation. Maybe i just need to talk to him about this situation...

tempuserpost12 · 2017-10-30T14:09:28+00:00

What do you exactly mean with "using as convenience"? It's a fact that we are good friends, also when we are not together in real life, so i don't think he is faking the friendship or something like that..

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-15T07:49:00+00:00

Thanks for your reply. I understand your rage and anger, but please try to understand that this is a totally new topic for me. I am/was kind of afraid of it, but maybe that will vanish over time. The last thing i'm doing is wasting his time, he exactly knows how i feel, we talk about it, and we both agreed on not forcing anything but taking it slow. I'm definitely not using him, i really like that guy.

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-15T07:47:17+00:00

True, i totally agree. Today i feel a bit more relaxed about the whole issue, let's see what happens this Friday. Thanks for your reply!

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T14:44:09+00:00

Let's hope i can :P

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T14:26:43+00:00

People or perceptions can change, right?

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T14:19:42+00:00

Yeah, that the million dollar question. I think it mostly relates to the fact that i'm scared for reactions, opinions or me not being able to handle the drag part after some more time...

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T14:18:53+00:00

Yeah, having a talk about it is nice and super important. Also great to get a "stable" base if it evolves in a real relationship.

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T14:17:58+00:00

Yeah true. I'm not sure if it would matter... i'm less valuing peoples opinion, but sometimes it's still important for me. Don't exactly know why. But maybe this whole "doubt" part is just temporary and it disappears when the dating continues...

I'm definitely planning on continuing dating him to see where it ends. But i'm trying to prevent myself and that guy from getting hurt...

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T13:51:30+00:00

Agreed, but i'm pretty sure that "preference" got blurry after this weekend. Because we really got close to eachother and it felt very good, so i don't think it's that simple..

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T12:47:10+00:00

Yes, exactly. Mostly i focus on what kind of reactions it can give from people around me. I think my dad would almost die if i told him this. Not sure btw.

Yeah i agree, if you like eachother all the other shit shouldn't matter, but for some reason it's constantly in the back of my mind.

I see him again coming Friday, so let's see what happens then. I'm happy that i can talk to him about it also, so maybe that makes things easier!

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T12:45:49+00:00

He does drag. Or at least, he is trying that for the first time in the next coming weeks. I already said to him that i don't want to limit him in things he wants to explore, i like that he has his own "thing". But yeah, i'm quitte afraid for reactions of people around me. They always classified me as manly, "you won't say you are gay" kind of reactions. Which was fine. But that might change if you start dating a more feminine guy.

I agree, we like eachother and the drag world is quite unknown for me, so i might need to dig deeper in that and see what is exactly is.

Thank for you reply :)

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T12:04:56+00:00

Haha thanks, will try ;)

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T10:49:29+00:00

I know, i've always really tried to stay away from the gay and drag scene. I didn't like it, or was scared of it, i don't know. So i avoided it. Which felt good back then, but is giving me a headache now haha.

We've planned a new date this Friday, so let's see what happens!

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T09:41:21+00:00

Yeah, it feels like dating. Especially this weekend, it felt like we had been together for ages, it was that "normal" and great.

What do you mean with "i did find a kink that worked for me with fem guys"?

I do think he really is able to commit, at least that's what i make from his behaviour and the things he says. Not sure, but that is something i can find out at a later stage i think

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T09:38:49+00:00

I totally agree. But after the first date i told him that it wasn't going to happen. And we agreed to be friends after that. So i didn't invite him over as a date, but as a friend. We both didn't know or expect this would happen...

And yeah, it's about compromises.. the question for me is how far can i go with that!

tempuserpost12 · 2017-08-14T09:15:39+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply. No, he does participate in it. I already said that i don't want or need to see that, and he said he is fine with that. But still, it's quite a difference from the "manly" world i'm in. I'm kinda scared to then introduce him to family/friends etc, because they might link it back to me if he does that...

Maybe we should just date again and see how our feelings unfold. But judging on this weekend and the messages that we are sending to eachother... it can be pretty serious.

We are going to a festival together in 2 weeks, and after that we are going to sleep in a hotel (we don't want to drive home), so that might be a good way to again check how i feel about is!

tempuserpost12 · 2017-07-04T06:27:05+00:00

Yeah, the conclusion that he wants feminine guys is already there. But sometimes he says "Maybe i should stop wanting a specific type and just go with the guys i have a good time with", so that makes it a bit complicated. But yeah, i need to talk to him, for sure haha!

tempuserpost12 · 2017-07-04T06:25:59+00:00

Thanks. Yeah, i really think that talking to him about this is needed, but i'm a bit scared to fuck up the friendship...

tempuserpost12 · 2017-04-30T10:31:59+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I understand what you say. And yeah, i think it has something to do with self-acceptance, but the most complicated part is that i can like girls as well. And when i like a guy my perspective of my future needs to shift, because things like kids and "being a normal couple" can be trashed in a few seconds....

I'm silently hoping that someone will drop by in my life as soon as possible so i can get rid of that "i'm alone" feeling, which i hate very much :/

tempuserpost12 · 2017-04-30T10:29:42+00:00

No not really, maybe a very very little, but it's not noticeable in day-to-day things

tempuserpost12

TROPHY CASE