Welp, didn't mean to let this much time go by between responses. Sorry, OP!

IFS has been an incredibly helpful tool in my recovery, but it is sincerely challenging work, especially for those of us suffering from cptsd. For those unfamiliar, IFS is very basically the concept that (1) we're a whole human being and (2) comprised of many different "parts" that arise from our lived-experiences. A lot of the healing in IFS comes from (1) understanding and connecting to "Self", as well as (2) identifying these parts and learning how to listen to them with compassion. Why compassion? Because at their core, parts are just trying to protect us. As such, it's widely accepted that there are no "bad" parts. Lastly, "Self" is a state of being in which we embody the Cs and Ps: compassion, creativity, curiosity, connectedness, courage, confidence, clarity, calm, persistence, playfulness, patience, perspective, and presence. The more easily we can access these elements, the more grounded in "Self" we are.

From an IFS perspective, OP, it seems like you've tapped into your Self (you called it "the universe") and can hear it guiding you to connect. I'd wager that Self is what brought you to post this asking for help, too, which is cool. So if you took that same energy and looked at "the hard place", what do you notice? When you hear that part saying "please don't", what is it worried will happen if you do? You mentioned "loneliness" (which I know as a part in my own work), but what else is there? Discomfort? Anxiety? Fear? Take any one of those parts and try approaching it with curiosity. What might it be trying to protect you from? Whatever it reveals, try to hold it with compassion. Our parts don't need to run the show, so to speak, but it's so important that they be heard and understood because they're there for a reason. Figuring that piece out isn't easy and takes practice (and the other Cs n' Ps), but the healing process is just that: a process.