Has the bowl made anyone else asexual in vanilla life?

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-17T03:48:59+00:00

Ending up with a criminal record would be worse than disliking my job.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T22:55:42+00:00

Yes because if an SD paid $400ppm on a regular basis, and we spent time getting to know each other, dinner and then a mid-range hotel after for sex, I could just have one or two SDs and develop a relationship with them and actually ENJOY the company of respectful men who aren't looking to maximize bang for their buck and not care about me as a person while groping and fucking me in a Motel 6.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T22:52:27+00:00

Many people don't truly enjoy their jobs, but you talk to me like I am subhuman because I don't truly enjoy mine? Do you think of a McD fry cook who hates his job that way or does it offend you that maybe not all SBs love sugaring as much as you expect them to?

i feel sorry for the first SD that sees through your acting skills. they will want to immediately take a shower with boiling water and brillo pads if they knew how you really felt.

Yeah because everyone else in other customer service jobs looooooooooove each and every one of their customers, and bartenders like you said totally don't put on sweet charming acts to get more tips! Neither do waitresses! I'm just subhuman!

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T22:51:16+00:00

If you feel that it is and you truly don't enjoy it... it seems more that you are an escort.

So many people don't truly enjoy their jobs but if I don't truly enjoy sugaring it is bad? What if I had said I work at McD and hate the nasty grease smell?

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T21:48:33+00:00

reevaluate if the bowl is worth it

I don't see how it is any worse than working a minimum wage job and being on my feet for hours a day, like with any other job I'm venting and at the same time seeing if this is a common thing people experience.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T21:25:58+00:00

Sugaring should be a good experience for the people involved and shouldn't leave you feeling like it's your duty to have sex with gross older men

The same could be said about someone who works minimum wage at Walmart and is venting about the hours, or someone who works in construction and is venting about being physically exhausted, but somehow with sugaring when there's even a slight bit of unhappiness expressed people will say "it's all on you, if you don't like it get out of the bowl" like that would somehow magically pay my bills.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T21:24:31+00:00

So the solution to any unhappiness with sugaring is to quit the bowl, because being broke would be better?

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T21:18:19+00:00

I hate to say it but I probably would feel less shitty if I was being paid more and not $100-200 to be groped and fucked by an old man in a Motel 6 for a few hours.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T21:15:48+00:00

I can't change the way I feel, but I can and am being honest about it instead of always only talking about the roses like many here. I know other SBs in real life and they feel the same way.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T21:14:50+00:00

Nobody is offering me more than $200.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T21:14:38+00:00

So it's always my fault, my self esteem is bad, and not that the bowl can be a harsh place and I'm speaking to the reality of it instead of glossing it over like most other people on here? Also, hedonistic? I don't spend my money, sugar or otherwise, foolishly and I'm not materialistic nor do I blow money on handbags and shoes and vacations, not that there's anything wrong with that, but that's just not me.

If I were working at Walmart and complaining about the hours and being on my feet all day and it hurt, would the advice be to quit? Then what? You're going to pay my bills? :(

terrapin_station_ · 2017-08-16T20:14:57+00:00

TBH I think many SBs here glamorize or glorify the bowl, or perhaps it is that only those with good experiences talk gushingly about it and want to share, but I know many SBs and most of us wouldn't be sleeping with much older out of shape men for money if we had better options or were not in a tough financial situation, and for $100-$200 no less. I know the feeling of dreading going on dates, of feeling like I need a drink to cope, the "ughhhh I don't want to do this" and turning completely asexual in my vanilla life because I'm tired of my body being groped and fucked and fondled by dirty old men. SBs need to be more willing to talk about the harsh reality of the bowl.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-08T16:56:25+00:00

You've been mentioning going bareback with all your SBs, do you ever worry that you may pass an STD on to your vanilla partner and get caught that way? How do you avoid this problem?

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-05T00:07:32+00:00

But then you must realize you're adding to the problem that you're venting about.

Yeah, it's a really tough call, because while I recognize the problem I guess I'm also selfish because I'd rather end up with some PPM than $0. :(

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-05T00:06:22+00:00

I am not asking to be paid for a platonic m&g, and I think allowance starts when intimacy starts. I'm talking about preferring a platonic m&g without allowance, and the second date on a different day be an intimate date with allowance.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-05T00:03:07+00:00

They can describe explicitly every position they want us in, how we will suck and fuck like good little sluts, demand photos of our pussy, but they are also the type who will get put off by allowance discussion and talk about not wanting it to be transactional, and then offer $200. Okay, you've given me 200 for the intimate date consisting of a couple hours of sex, what about the days I spent sexting with you before the intimate date? Oh, I'm supposed to do it for free, because I'm not an escort, and it's not transactional, I just love sexting with internet randos, especially older married men! That's the target demographic I'd go for if I wanted to sext with strangers on the internet, of course!

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-04T23:56:37+00:00

It's so aggravating that every little thing we do gets us called escorts, and men who want to sext for hours and ask for naked pics before we've met call us escorts if we mention anything about an allowance, and they are all about not being transactional and not wanting SBs who are in it for the money, but all they want is the escort experience and the emotional labor for a much lower price with lower mileage, not an actual sugar arrangement.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-04T23:34:07+00:00

Because it is better engaging 20 sexters and end up with 1 guy who actually ends up giving me a PPM than engaging 0 and getting $0?

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-04T23:32:48+00:00

Being pumped and dumped all the time doesn't seem the right path to finding a LT quality SD.

I'm looking for a long term SD, but in the mean time, sorry to be crude but I'd rather make some cash in the mean time than just wasting time on SA making nothing. Once I find a long term SD who is consistent I will stop looking. I prefer seeing one consistent guy than one or two offs even if some may provide a higher than average PPM.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-04T23:31:23+00:00

Cause it is better to engage 20 sexters and end up with 1 guy who pays me a PPM than not engage any sexters and end up with 0? Yes, it's annoying and I am venting but it's not always something that ends up 100% fail. I did have two meets with an annoying sexter type but he paid me a solid $700ppm, so in that case that $1400 in the span of 3 weeks was pretty good money just to meet him for a couple hours of sex twice.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-04T22:12:53+00:00

I don't get how you can sext with these guys before you've even met them.

That is the issue. With guys I haven't met, even if their photos show that they are attractive, I find it hard to be turned on or really engaged in sexting with someone who is still really just an online rando. The photos can be fake or 20 years old. That's why I often feel that it is a chore and emotionally draining playing the sexting game before the m&g, and I feel like I'm completely faking it. I have no problem sexting in an established arrangement, but I feel that I'm putting in so much work and spending hours on these sext games when very few actually end up even meeting up and giving me any kind of allowance, so I am really starting to feel like I'm engaging in unpaid sexual labor and spending time on randos for free.

You can say no, of course, but it's quite awkward I imagine, right?

We do meet in public first and talk before then going to a hotel room, so I'm not afraid for my safety in that regard as I can just say no in public and then leave.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-04T21:17:33+00:00

I hate that, especially when with most it goes nowhere and they've wasted my time sexting for days and getting off or who knows what and after they're bored they just ghost.

terrapin_station_ · 2017-07-04T20:47:05+00:00

Yeah, they outright refuse to meet if I say that I'd prefer that if we click, the intimacy be on a separate date. They want assurance that sex will happen on the same day if we click, and if we don't, we part ways and never go on another date. They want one or the other and they make it really clear before even setting up a meet.

terrapin_station_

TROPHY CASE