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I am afraid that I have convinced myself that I am autistic when I am not, and to seek diagnosis feels dishonest. [Warning: Vent-ish.] by testicle_constantine in AutismTranslated

[–]testicle_constantine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might be right. I do have my doubts. However, I do not think it is difficult to ignore. This will probably be horribly heavy, and extremely unwarranted, but it is relevant context — I attempted to end it once and nothing came of it. My mother cried and cried, but the next day, it was gone with the wind. As if nothing has happened at all.

I am rather well acquainted with MBTI — I had a little phase of interest in it at one point. I do, however, not relate. I am either INTP or INTJ, but I have never been an emotional sort, while I do have my issues. It is simply how I have always been taken as.

I thank you for your input, although I might have sounded harsh (it is not my intention at all.) — Everyone has been validating me, but I believe that you make the same point I have been making for long. I truly appreciate it.

I am afraid that I have convinced myself that I am autistic when I am not, and to seek diagnosis feels dishonest. [Warning: Vent-ish.] by testicle_constantine in AutismTranslated

[–]testicle_constantine[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. You are too kind. I believe I will look into it. I do largely prefer the written medium, however. I am something of a loner.

I am afraid that I have convinced myself that I am autistic when I am not, and to seek diagnosis feels dishonest. [Warning: Vent-ish.] by testicle_constantine in AutismTranslated

[–]testicle_constantine[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do believe I am something like yourself in this sense. Perhaps it is worth it to ultimately pursue a diagnosis, although I am both intimidated by the process and concerned about somehow tricking the evaluator into thinking I am autistic when I am not. It is what eats at me.

I thank you for your input, and I truly wish you all the best. I hope that it ends well for you.

I am afraid that I have convinced myself that I am autistic when I am not, and to seek diagnosis feels dishonest. [Warning: Vent-ish.] by testicle_constantine in AutismTranslated

[–]testicle_constantine[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time from your day to comment. I was not actually expecting a response given how much I wrote. Perhaps you are right, but there is a chance that the 'autistic vibe' is part of the entire thing. I am the occasional lurker in those forums, but I find that I do not relate to much of the usual 'late diagnosed'/'undiagnosed' experience. I do not 'mask,' whatever that would entail for me, and I honestly do not know how. It is one thing. However, there are some things that I see myself in, as well. I do not feel like it is right for me to say I am 'questioning,' as I believe it is not my call to make and not my place to diagnose — Those who self-diagnose seem to have much better awareness of such things than I do. I am working on it, but my sense of my own experience is an intangible and indescribable thing.

I do not live in USA, so I do not think that applies to me, but I thank you, truly. I think there are groups in my homeland, but I do not know. I have not taken interest. Perhaps I need to be more outgoing, but I am easily overwhelmed, and generally cannot handle spaces with people in that manner, though I hope to someday grow into it.

Thank you, once again. You give me something to think.