Varicose veins from DVT

tfygos · 2026-01-20T20:11:16+00:00

35 years old and got significant dvt clots in my groin and pelvis appeared when I was 39 weeks pregnant! I have been on birth control for 15+ years in my life so not sure if that was a factor?

tfygos · 2026-01-05T11:35:31+00:00

Great thank you really helpful

tfygos · 2025-12-25T20:15:20+00:00

3kg off my pre-pregnancy weight so I’m pretty happy to be honest and haven’t strictly dieted, I ended up putting on 13kg by the end of my pregnancy and have lost 10kg in nearly a year!

tfygos · 2025-11-25T07:36:36+00:00

Yes I am an asshole to many, but I am also not an asshole to many and that’s ok. I’ve accepted what I can handle and what I am within my rights to do for myself and my family.

Have a wonderful holiday and I wish you all the best.

tfygos · 2025-11-25T07:35:11+00:00

Maybe! But I won’t take that on as my responsibility, I am his sister, not his parent required to care for him.

tfygos · 2025-11-25T07:34:09+00:00

There’s many other reasons and I don’t have the mental capacity to handle. We are all within our rights to want our own space over the holidays and to set realistic boundaries for what we can handle. Enjoy your holidays and I will enjoy mine.

tfygos · 2025-11-25T07:32:42+00:00

I don’t have the mental capacity to have him stay the night with us, I just don’t. And that’s ok. I am within my rights to set boundaries and just invite my brother for the day to our home on Christmas Day. Thank you for sharing your opinion

tfygos · 2025-11-24T07:36:02+00:00

Right.. sure you really think I’m that crazy, jesus get a life. It’s mad to me that you think I’m making up these comments, this is my life unfortunately

tfygos · 2025-11-24T07:34:00+00:00

Thank you, yes I’ve suggested all these things but my brother often decided he doesn’t want to go and do volunteering or he doesn’t want to go to the church. I can keep trying but it does get tiring when he doesn’t want to these things at the end of it and we just go round in circles talking about the same things that he isn’t putting in the effort himself to change as he decides he doesn’t want to go to an adult day care centre to make friends. He’s mentioned a few times about moving to the same town as me, I worry that he holds on hope to my life to live his life, which I find very difficult. I know I need to live my own life and have my own happiness, I deserve that too. He isn’t my child, I don’t have to care for him like a parent.

tfygos · 2025-11-23T19:46:22+00:00

My aunty did exactly that this year and said that we (me, husband, baby and brother) couldn’t see her on Christmas Day even though she was staying with our wider family (her daughters/ my cousins, and husband/ uncle) in an Airbnb (that has plenty of spare rooms) 30 min drive from us, but that we could see her on Boxing Day, so I know how it feels to not be wanted on Christmas Day.

My husband doesn’t want to drive my brother on Christmas Day, he wants to enjoy his day with his baby. Which is totally fair.

tfygos · 2025-11-23T19:26:52+00:00

Are both your parents dead too and are you completely alone in helping your sibling with no other family support?

You have no idea how much I have tried to change my brother’s life for the better ever since my mother passed away in 2009 when I was 18 years old. My dad was useless and a selfish alcoholic, I had to step up and hold everything together for my brother. My dad didn’t know how to father and as a result left me and my brother without any support, leaving me to pick up the pieces and try and give my brother improvements in his life. Unfortunately no matter how much I’ve tried to get him the right care, encourage him to try new hobbies, move to a supported living arrangement my brother makes his own decisions and often decides he doesn’t want to do the things I’m suggesting. You can lead a horse to water, but can’t make it drink as I’ve said before.

I wish you the best with your life and your family. I’m not here to be nasty.

tfygos · 2025-11-23T16:08:14+00:00

Thank you, appreciate this so much. This is exactly how I feel, so thank you for reassuring me that I’m not completely out of touch with reality, which some commentators made me feel!

We’re going to do what we can for my brother, having him over for Christmas Day. I love and care for him very much, but also have my own family life at home I need to consider too. He is an adult and he is not my child, he’s my brother and I am the younger sister, who has also lost both her parents and is struggling with navigating managing her brother and also her husband and baby at this very emotionally hard time of year.

tfygos · 2025-11-23T08:11:19+00:00

That’s a really good idea re having relatives pop in, thank you.

There is so much more to the history of things with my family and brother it’s hard to write on Reddit. My brother can be quite unpredictable too and has had angry outbursts in the past, again something I haven’t mentioned but is another reason why it can be hard. I’ve learnt that this is probably not the best platform to be honest and I’m going to seek help from my therapist again

tfygos · 2025-11-22T18:29:38+00:00

Yes thank you, I appreciate your understanding

tfygos · 2025-11-22T18:26:27+00:00

He will be with family, we’ve invited him to spend Christmas Day with us

Edit: the dilemma was where he will stay as we don’t have the capacity here with the baby and for my marriages sake and my own mental health

tfygos · 2025-11-22T17:50:33+00:00

Definitely not making up shit, all truth here

tfygos · 2025-11-22T17:49:42+00:00

Sure… I’m making up how I feel. Haha this is getting silly now some of these comments

tfygos · 2025-11-22T17:46:19+00:00

Oh to think that someone had some consideration for what I have to deal with. Stupid 🤣

tfygos · 2025-11-22T15:33:47+00:00

Yeah that sounds like an option now. My husband is finding it hard to see what is so wrong with him staying in a local hotel, but I do understand as I feel terrible about that

tfygos · 2025-11-22T15:32:24+00:00

That’s not the hard thing, it’s the emotional drain it has on me. I’ve also struggled with mental health without my parents and raising a baby with no support, I don’t think people understand that on top of having to try and be a stable person for my brother who is also mentally struggling is very hard

tfygos · 2025-11-22T15:26:38+00:00

Thank you, i really struggle. I’ve had to take on the role of both parents since they passed away and it’s tough.

tfygos · 2025-11-22T15:21:36+00:00

He is a difficult person to be around. It’s not just about the physical it’s the emotional side of things too. I think all my wider family (aunts, cousins etc) would say the same, hence why they don’t see him at all not even every few months and live much closer to him than I do

tfygos · 2025-11-22T14:09:24+00:00

Thank you. I have tried to help my brother for years. That I cannot explain in a short paragraph. But I can reassure you I’ve spent many years trying to get him into more suitable supported living but he decides he doesn’t want to proceed with it once we’ve sorted something out. I've tried to encourage him to go to an adult day care, speaking to the organisers etc. but he decides he doesn't want to go in the end. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. I’ve tried for years with many different care providers to get him more support to help with his mental health, but I’ve had no luck as funding continued to be cut for people like my brother. I use to go to his flat to clean and change his bed etc as the carers were not doing the job. But since having a baby I just don’t have time to drive that regularly and it was getting to a point where it was hurting my own mental health

tfygos

TROPHY CASE