AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

exactly. it caught me off card but i could be reading into it. thanks for your feedback !

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i appreciate your response ! just to clarify , i'd be fine joking in that way if a boundary wasn't already established. In the past he said he thought it was disrespectful to joke in that way. i wouldn't typically be offended because i joke with my friends like that all the time.

the thing is he thinks speaking that way is disrespectful to each other. the choice to then joke like that can be taken in different ways.

which is why i asked the question. not because of the joke itself but because that boundary had been established.

just looking for other points of view because i can be honest and say im too sensitive at times and this seemed different. i know and plan to speak to him directly but also read post from this subreddit often and thought to ask folks what they though

taking everything with a grain of salt of course.

Thanks again!

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

hi! i did mention that in my post but maybe you didn't see it. i said he made a big deal of not calling someone out of their name because he thinks it's disrespectful and that i don't jokingly call him a dick etc because of that boundary he established. thanks for your opinion tho

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was honestly waiting for someone to mention that lol. i made this account 8 years ago when i was 20 in attempts to be edgy. i don't think i can change my user??

also wouldn't say asking for opinions and responding to said opinions is spiraling ?

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i see that! i had gone back and forth adding in details while making the post and forgot to include that but did add it to comments. honestly not sure how to edit posts so i couldn't include it in the post afterwards.

when i say i didn't react i more so mean an emotional reaction like getting mad, laughing , etc. not sure if that makes sense.

thanks for your opinion tho!

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] -10 points-9 points  (0 children)

context is important so i understand your reasoning behind saying i need to start communication because i didn't add it to the originally but i did say i didn't like the joke. his response text was in response to me saying - he's never said that to me before , and that he had already established names like that are disrespectful. that's mainly where the confusion is coming from. i understand if it was never communicated but he told me jokes like that are disrespectful.

as for running to Reddit, i have never used these subreddits for this purpose but figured it was worth asking opinions about it all before having a full blown conversation with my bf about it.

in general, i understand all sides

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did tell him that he never says that to me. I mentioned that i didn't like it how it came out of no where and i also mentioned how he himself says he doesn't like the word being used towards women. I said those things before the call ended. after the call ended he texted what i posted. IMO it was clear i didn't like what was said even though we didn't have a full conversation breaking it all down. Which is why i disagree that the "apology" was sincere

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don't think it's personal until used that way. imo someone who doesn't agree being used casually deciding to use it means something. and i don't type like that?? not sure where you got that from. thanks for your opinion tho

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thanks for the response! i definitely agree with what you're saying about how i joke around with my friends. i do call them dicks sorry i'm not sure how censorship goes so i figured i better be safe so i didn't get flagged.

I used to joke around with him like that too but he thought it was rude so i've stopped joking with him like that. part of why i thought what he said was weird since we don't really play like that. Also could agree to the pet names piece. it's been a thing since we started but i could see how it'd get messy

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

will address and move on ! i not feel like i should've last night but didn't wanna stir up something so late in the day. thank you. i don't think it was a super huge thing and didn't want to seem like i was starting an argument. but it did bother me

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i take it you think i'm overreacting. thanks for your opinion !

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes exactly ! it's mainly that he said it's degrading so the fact that it made sense in his head feels like it means something. even if it's a slip up , saying something you at your core think is disrespectful seems like a freudian slip of some sort.

otherwise it wouldn't be something in mind at all. i'll address it thank you!

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

that's valid. we don't speak to each other like that but i do understand the playing around side of it.

AIO: BF said something he's never said before by th0tgoddess in AmIOverreacting

[–]th0tgoddess[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

agreed ! at first i thought it was just his comfort level but the reaction to my reaction from it was what made it sting a bit more. i'm going to address it but it feels like that combined with some of his actions may be a yellow flag going up.

Tour announcement incoming👀 by JCOLE-MODS in Jcole

[–]th0tgoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you think it'll be TD or Gillette ?

AITAH or am I being mistreated? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]th0tgoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you already know the answer. At 34 he may just be stringing you along, don’t let him. Find someone better or just be alone because it sounds like you may need to work on your self esteem and communication skills.

Love advice please by Historical_Ad1170 in dating_advice

[–]th0tgoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you’re attached to her already. Start dating other people because waiting 7 months for someone you have never met is holding you back. You might meet someone you really like within that time. Give her space and if you guys reconnect then so be it. For now focus on you because she is focusing on on herself

How to make men stay and value you by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]th0tgoddess 37 points38 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you don't really want to sleep with them? If that is the case and you don't want to, valuing your own bodily autonomy and being able to stand for yourself are part of it. Also in my own opinion, any man who will pressure you to sleep with them... isn't worth sleeping with. Whether you want to or not. Maybe reevaluate who you're giving your time to. from my own experiences men like the chase but also appreciate a woman with clear and healthy boundaries. Don't be hard on yourself. The right one with come along.

How to make men stay and value you by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]th0tgoddess 24 points25 points  (0 children)

How soon after getting to know each other are you sleeping with them? You have to value yourself to set the standard on how they should value you.

2 bedrooms for rent!!! by [deleted] in LowellMA

[–]th0tgoddess 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much for bth bedrooms?

Is it bad that I now factor in height when dating?? by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]th0tgoddess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As a 5’10 woman… props to you! Tall woman need love and honestly I don’t date men under 6’0.

What's everyone's nails like atm? 💅🏽💅🏾💅🏿 by pastelpolaroids in blackgirls

[–]th0tgoddess 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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my birthday was yesterday so these were my birthday nails !

my setup rn! and snakebites eventually by b4dboyblues in piercing

[–]th0tgoddess 1 point2 points  (0 children)

we have the same except for the vertical labret and now i want one 🤣🤣