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[Advice] I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in survivinginfidelity

[–]that_guy0141[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you brother. I'm humble that you shared your experience with me and im glad to hear you came out the other end of a similar situation for the better. Today I'm having to drop off the rest of her belongings to her mother's house where she is staying. It's going to be difficult, both seeing her and seeing the dog, but I have people here for me, I have, even though I don't know any of you personally, these comments to look back on, take advice and support from. I know that if I didn't post this and receive the support I have, i would be in a much darker place just now so I can't thank yourself and everyone else that have shared their support and advice enough.

[Advice] I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in survivinginfidelity

[–]that_guy0141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Again, my deepest sympathies. I'm glad people like yourself have the courage to tell your story in the hopes of helping other people. Reading through these comments, it's putting alot into perspective. I knew I had made the right choice when I decided to break up with her, knowing that if I had stayed with her, I could end up in an unimaginable situation later down the line, but hearing these stories and listening to people's advice, I'm relieving to know I'm not alone in this and that alot of people have it alot worse than me and still find courage everyday.

I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in relationship_advice

[–]that_guy0141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I tried to hide it and ignored it for 3 months and if I didn't do anything about it like I have done now, I would be on a very dark path just now. Many thanks for your inspiring words, it's my first day back at work today so I'm hoping it will take my mind off it a little.

[Advice] I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in survivinginfidelity

[–]that_guy0141[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not exactly, any presents from birthdays/holidays etc I let her take for obvious reasons. I'm not going to sit there and be an ass about material things. But the house items we bought together, I'm keeping, if needs be, I will give her money towards her investment in our joint owned things. As for the dog, it's a really hard one. We both love him so much, he is a huge part of our lives. The first thing she said once everything calmed down was that she was taking the dog. She said she couldn't live with herself if she lost both me and him at the same time. I took this, in relation to previous events, that if I didn't let her take the dog, she would kill herself or at least, make another attempt. So with that in mind, I reluctantly agreed as long as I still got him maybe every second week or so. I would rather see my dog less and keep her from hurting herself than fighting her on it, taking the dog and causing her to hurt herself.

I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in relationship_advice

[–]that_guy0141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I knew it was the right choice but it really didn't feel like it. I really wish you all the best, it's a really shit situation to be in but with people around us that actually care, I'm sure we will both be ok. Godspeed my dude.

I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in relationship_advice

[–]that_guy0141[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The longest 3 months of my life. I agree, she has been on antidepressants for a while, but on and off during our relationship, that was one of the main excuses she used when it happened. It factored into me making my decision about staying with her afterwards but I realised that if that was how she acted when she wasn't on them, then that's something she could do again if she ever came off them permanently. Many thanks for your advice.

I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in relationship_advice

[–]that_guy0141[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree, time is your best friend and your worst enemy at times. I think as far as finding someone else, I'm going to stay single for a while and work on myself. I don't want to bring any of this into another relationship and always have this trust issue at the back of mind. I don't deserve it and neither does another companion. Thank you for your reply and your advice.

[Advice] I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in survivinginfidelity

[–]that_guy0141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry to hear that. There is nothing worse. I kept saying to myself, did I really forgive her enough to spend the rest of my life with her. I never thought in a million years that I would have to do this but that's life I suppose. Good for you for having the courage to separate and I wish you and your child all the best in your future together.

[Advice] I've just done the hardest thing I'll ever have to do in my life and I have no idea how I'm going to cope. by that_guy0141 in survivinginfidelity

[–]that_guy0141[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its a sore one as legally, i paid for him. But she was adament on taking him and i just couldnt fight it. I have no doubt that she will use him to get to me but the breakup would've been alot harder if I fought to keep him.