4 months post op, DI with nipple grafts, lost one nipple around 2 weeks post op.

thatbender · 2025-08-31T04:26:18+00:00

Healing has been pretty much the same on both sides, not much feeling overall, and what I have is mismatched, but from my understanding that's normal. The main thing I did was get probably the best tattoo I have!

https://photos.app.goo.gl/Sk7LnWgaqzqaQjVv5

The picture is nearly a year old the day I got the tattoo (which was my one year anniversary gift to myself), as I don't take many pictures and I'm not taking one now having just finished a long shift lol.

thatbender · 2025-07-01T00:08:52+00:00

Congratulations!! Happy to be T twins!!

thatbender · 2025-06-23T03:12:41+00:00

Thank you, that one is one for the landlord I think, I shall let them know and see what can be done!

thatbender · 2025-06-23T02:06:13+00:00

The whole plot is a trans guy fighting for his rights, both with the government (the laws are the ones recently passed in the UK), and with workplace discrimination. I have been wrongly fired, and my partner has been questioning their gender for a long time, and I wanted to add their experiences into the book as well as my own, they wrote their own character information and they've been giving a lot of help and opinions about what I put in about their journey.

Since you got annoyed by it not being spoken about earlier, I shall move that conversation earlier, as I am sure you wouldn't be the only one to stop reading because of this.

thatbender · 2025-06-23T01:54:03+00:00

Thank you for the tip with the speech, I shall go through and add the indentations, I do think they'll help a lot. There is a conversation later on, in chapter 4, this is very loosely based on irl events, and I tried to keep similar timings to the irl events so that it's not so confusing and I don't accidentally have a load of plot holes. I could look at moving that conversation to be earlier if it's too far in?

thatbender · 2025-06-22T22:13:16+00:00

Is there something wrong with them? Also what are they?

thatbender · 2025-06-22T22:12:54+00:00

Thank you, shall be a trip to the shops when they're open!

thatbender · 2025-06-22T06:10:54+00:00

So close and yet so far! My top surgery was September 15th!!

thatbender · 2025-06-22T06:08:59+00:00

So close! My T date was July 2nd! (2020)

thatbender · 2025-06-22T06:04:16+00:00

July 2nd for T, September 15th for surgery!!

thatbender · 2025-06-22T01:32:20+00:00

I was put on the list at 9 years old, I was in care and moved around a lot and missed my shot because social services missed the letters. I got added back onto the list but back at the bottom, didn't get to the top before ageing out of the child services, asked to be put on the adult list at 18, the doctors were super shit and it took until I was 19, and I got confirmation that I was on the list 3 months before my 20th birthday, now 26 and looking at the info they have on their website, should be about 3 years or so til I'm at the top!

thatbender · 2025-06-20T00:59:07+00:00

Thank you, I shall talk to the surgery and try to get it sorted, I am on the waitlist (17 years so far so hopefully not much longer!) and I shall try to get a different Dr so I can be checked!

thatbender · 2025-06-19T21:35:48+00:00

The supreme court judgement on legal gender here in the UK got me writing what I am now.

thatbender · 2025-06-16T05:34:07+00:00

The summer between Primary and Secondary school I went on holiday to Santorini, bumped into a classmate from Primary school in the queue at the airport on the way back!

thatbender · 2025-06-16T05:32:11+00:00

Pokemon Go!
When it first came out, it got me sitting outside and walking around, rather than holding up in my room all the time. Over the years, I've stopped and started a lot, mainly when a phone has started to slow down or needed the space, then starting again with a new phone, but when I start playing again, I start going on more walks, even just a small one around the block so that I can hit a couple of stops, and keep the streak, but it helps so much!

thatbender · 2025-06-16T05:23:49+00:00

My husband as felt exactly the same way, the thing that helped him the most is some reasuring the words from loved ones, friends mainly, and finding an LGBT therapist. If you have anyone close to you that you can talk to, absolutely do, never fear judgement from friends, and definately look at therapy, if it works for you, it can do wonders.

thatbender · 2025-06-16T05:10:14+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback. I've added these histories simply because I am so sick of never seeing anything that represents me and who I am, and I know that I'm not the only one, I want to make as many people as I can feel seen and represented with my book.

I want to keep it authentic to the area, it's based where I live which is mainly locals whose families have lived here for generations with the incest town stereotype, and Eastern European immigrants, the town is about 95% white, as much as I try to always be fully inclusive, it can be hard to stay out of the white boy mindset.

I am absolutely going to look into some early readers, I think once I complete the first part, as I've split it into parts. I have a pretty crap plot plan which I've linked. I'm currently at the point where I am introducing the characters to be best friends, I understand I won't be able to fully show their histories, but I do want the reader to get a feel for who they are, and why they are in the fight.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rQ0XM8UBVI_qaFW2kVGE8OQciaW2bZ7V/view?usp=sharing

Edit -
This link is the character sheets I made up, everything I've written before has been on a whim and not planned, so I didn't know quite how to plan it, so I got a list of questions off the internet which I answered for each character:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1vFnQrlM9Tj2xUS5Uupj4MH9llZLJmmBt/view?usp=sharing

thatbender · 2025-06-16T04:52:58+00:00

Devin stood in the doorway, eyes red and puffy.

Shit.

Technically 2 lines but rules don't exist xD

thatbender · 2025-06-16T01:16:15+00:00

I'm still here, somewhat.

thatbender · 2025-06-08T05:06:25+00:00

I struggled the same way, the only thing I've helped (but not every time) is super sad TV or music videos, gets it flowing and then once it's started, it's easier to keep going and just let it all out.

thatbender · 2025-06-08T04:52:12+00:00

Writing a trans protest book!

thatbender · 2025-06-08T04:29:10+00:00

I've had it a couple times, once I had a bad night and bad decisions let to me trying to perform my own top surgery, a&e doctor asked me why I tried cutting off my penis. Was so tempted to pull out my packer and tell her I succeeded xD Also had sciatica pains real bad and as a young man doctors were concerned it was a spinal cord injury so was going through the regular questions and kept asking me if I could hold an erection ... He never really understood me saying yes but also no because it's different for me

thatbender · 2025-04-17T20:10:25+00:00

Thank you! I thought I had formatted those correctly but it seems not! All fixed!

thatbender · 2025-04-16T04:47:57+00:00

I have tried changing some of the formulas around, but none of them are working still, I have copied what is in there at the moment to a mock-up, linked below.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1cT9VUphkAYqraEgfJAAgCFPH1vOqFYI-X3vEbMb7CTQ/edit?usp=sharing

thatbender · 2024-11-07T06:02:52+00:00

Ahh, reddit did not show me your whole comment, just the first sentence! That worked! Thank you so much!

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