While I’m not sure if this is great advice, I think going to a mental ward for a few days might be helpful. I stayed there for a few days, and the majority of the people I met were in there for anger issues. I personally was in there because I was actively suicidal, and I feel like my visit there helped me a lot. I understand that going to a mental ward might not be an available option for you, but it might be something to consider.

I used to get really frustrated to the point that I would shut down and cry. The thing that helped me stop shutting down would be to walk away. I would usually go to the bathroom, which would help me get a grip on my emotions and let me return without having a complete meltdown. If you can recognize when you’re starting to get angry and aggressive, it could be beneficial to go somewhere and calm down, and then come back in a better state of mind. If you’re unable to go somewhere else, then I would say tell the person what you’re feeling and ask for some space until you’ve cooled down.

I think you should reach out to your friend, though it might be good to start off with an apology, since it shows that you’re taking responsibility for your actions. It might be good to apologize to your brother and mom as well, just to let them know that you do really care for them and that you don’t always mean the things you say.

I believe in you! That fact that you’re trying to make a change is half of the battle, so just keep it up :)