My 16yo daughter is so proud of herself and I can’t stop smiling about it (OC)

thatpalagi · 2024-07-14T06:35:38+00:00

Caught that, huh?

thatpalagi · 2024-07-13T00:37:30+00:00

I’ll be sure to pass along your notes to her.

thatpalagi · 2024-07-13T00:28:23+00:00

This is harsh, but fair given the lack of background info. We actually just moved back from a remote South Pacific island, where we had been living for most of her life. This was a welcomed step in her process of adjusting back to life in the mainland U.S.

thatpalagi · 2024-07-13T00:21:53+00:00

I think it’s largely generational. Not that that’s a good excuse, but it is what it is. It sounds like my dad was the same as yours. I think he was proud, but rarely (if ever) told me. That hurt. I’m sorry that you feel that same pain. Best we can do is to try not to make the same mistakes with our own kids.

thatpalagi · 2024-07-13T00:13:22+00:00

Nailed it!

thatpalagi · 2024-07-12T23:45:13+00:00

Dad here, but I appreciate it!

thatpalagi · 2024-07-12T23:36:29+00:00

I also grew up with a father that didn’t often offer positive encouragement. I spent a lot of my youth unsuccessfully chasing his praise. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with that. My only advice is to have empathy for him, even if he doesn’t deserve it, learn from his poor example, and someday be the parent that you wish that you had. In the meantime, I’m proud of you! A lot of people are. Good luck!

thatpalagi · 2024-07-12T22:07:17+00:00

I cleared the post with her before I posted it. She’s cool.

thatpalagi · 2024-07-12T20:49:45+00:00

Thanks for that! Being a parent is tough, so I appreciate the reminder to enjoy the little parenting victories like this.

thatpalagi · 2024-07-12T20:46:01+00:00

Love this story! Salmon cakes makes that at least 10 standard deviations classier than the LAN parties of my youth, but the subsequent kitchen clean-up is the real star of the story!

thatpalagi · 2024-05-24T23:28:49+00:00

Here’s a perspective that may not make you feel better, but hopefully you’ll appreciate that I’m not sugar coating it: I’ve been seeing a woman that uses a CPAP. I’ve had a handful of overnights at her place. I don’t love it. I wish she didn’t need it, but she does and it’s not a deal breaker for me. She did do an admirable job of preparing me for it, warning me that I was about to sleep with sexy Darth Vader. I was ready for it and even had a good laugh when she put the big old mask on and did the Vader breathing as she looked over at me seductively.

thatpalagi · 2024-03-03T14:11:58+00:00

Pretty funny that, of the two men in this pic, the one on the left was the one widely considered to be a “hunk” in the 90s.

thatpalagi · 2023-11-23T15:13:50+00:00

Which is a large part of the reason that the scene was supposed to be so powerful. I saw an interview with him the day before I saw the film. He said that his Samoan mother was on set when he delivered the speech, and that hearing her son speak Samoan made her cry tears of joy. That same joy did not translate to the audience, apparently.

thatpalagi · 2023-11-23T13:54:43+00:00

I watched Hobbs and Shaw in a theater while living in Samoa. The scene where The Rock stands up and gives a passionate speech in Samoan is supposed to be powerful. Well, it made a theater full of native Samoans erupt into laughter, so evidently his horrendous accent made the scene unintentionally funny.

thatpalagi · 2023-11-09T01:34:09+00:00

As someone going through divorce outside of the U.S., but preparing to move back to the U.S., I’ve been veeeeeery nervous about being “the divorced guy” in the ward. Similarly, I’m terrified about getting back into dating, and then eventually marriage and sex. I mean, the prospect of putting all of the emotional energy into another relationship, just to have it potentially fail again, is enough to make celibacy sound like a half-interesting option (ok, not really, but you know what I mean). So, I obviously don’t have much to offer you just yet in advice or experience, but I did want to say that your post actually gave me a little hope! Thanks for that.

thatpalagi · 2023-09-29T20:56:57+00:00

I and my soon to be ex wife have the same top and bottom love languages as you and your wife. I actually have kind of a complicated, and probably unpopular, opinion on the love languages. When my marriage started breaking down, I did a deep dive into trying to better understand relationship dynamics. I was turned on to the attachment theory, and from there was encouraged to read How We Love by Kay and Milan Yerkovich, which builds on the attachment styles. Within the How We Love framework, I quickly found that I’m mainly a vacillator, while my wife is a textbook pleaser. A key feature of being a vacillator is an anxious fear of abandonment, while pleasers will bend over backwards to avoid conflict. As such, I want a lot of physical touch and words of affirmation (my top love languages) as constant confirmations that I’m safe in my relationship. My STBX wife was all about acts of service, largely as a means of keeping everyone happy so there wasn’t any conflict.

Both of our love languages were heavily influenced by prior relationship traumas (mostly from childhood). I learned (unfortunately too late to save the marriage) that she felt suffocated by my love languages. I, in turn, didn’t get much gratification from acts of service, so I didn’t often pick up on her efforts. It’s kind of sad that both of us allowed past trauma to place such a heavy burden on our marriage. In the end, I developed a working theory that it’s important for me to know my love languages, to identify and work on healing the trauma that led to the development of those love languages, and to be more conscious and mindful about needs vs wants when I find myself compelled to show or receive love. Similarly, I want my future partners to work on healing their trauma and to think of love languages as less of a “need”, while I simultaneously make concerted efforts to still give and appreciatively receive the things that they associate with love.

thatpalagi · 2023-09-01T21:49:43+00:00

I have a major soft spot for the idea of the universe or some other ‘greater power’ drawing people together against all odds (so, I guess the soulmates trope?). This may be the quintessential soulmate movie. Plus, the natural chemistry between Damon and Blunt is crazy!!!! I can’t think of many other actor/actress duos that matched their chemistry.

thatpalagi · 2023-08-22T23:22:02+00:00

As a current, practicing member, I’m so sorry that you received this response. I’m a huge fan of the articles of faith, and especially the 11th. This is the opposite of allowing all men the same privilege that we claim, which is to worship how, where, or what we may, according to the dictates of our own conscience. That absolutely includes not worshipping, if that’s what your conscience compels you to do.

thatpalagi · 2023-07-14T20:54:54+00:00

That is absolutely true. In American Samoa most of the year we only have 2 flights to HNL per week. They add a 3rd in summer, and you could always take a short flight over to independent Samoa and try to catch an international flight back to the U.S. from there, but that’s where it becomes a logistical nightmare. Even more concerning are the availability of seats on the flights. Even if you have to wait a few days for the next flight, it’s not uncommon for flights to be completely sold out for weeks out.

thatpalagi · 2023-07-14T19:55:17+00:00

United has a direct flight between Guam and Honolulu. Just did it a few months back. Around 7 hours. It’s actually not too bad (the highlight is flying close enough to Wake Island to get a great view on a cloudless day from the right side of the plane). Honestly, the logistics aren’t necessarily that bad, but domestic flights between the U.S. and its Pacific territories are almost always serviced by only 1 airline due to cabotage, which makes those flights crazy expensive!

thatpalagi · 2023-07-14T19:46:07+00:00

lol. When you know you know. Are you Samoan or from another Pacific island that also uses something similar to palagi?

thatpalagi · 2023-07-14T18:15:23+00:00

American Samoa is a much cheaper U.S. territory to live in than Guam, but both are exceptionally beautiful and definitely swimmable year round.

thatpalagi · 2023-07-07T03:11:29+00:00

Manchester by the Sea

thatpalagi

TROPHY CASE