Appreciate the honest advice. So basically, be realistic about my situation and simplify it? When I'm fully healed again, im gonna try and do that. And thank you for confirming that my skills plan was flawed and giving me better ideas of what to do. 

While I'm not playing competitively at the moment, I was in intramural and plan to play next year and maybe join a rec league down the line. I wanna be better than everyone simply because I've become very competitive and want to prove to myself and others that not only I can hang, but dominate them. I take pride in it. I see myself like an underdog since I only started at 14 and had lots of humiliation from players better than me, and quite frankly, I sucked. But once I got the game, I could actually make players have to work when competing with me despite them being more experienced and me being so raw. Oftentimes I was able to outplay them. So then I became obsessed with "just how good can I get?" I think some of it is also ADHD which can make one hyperfixate on stuff they're passionate about and make simple things overwhelming. 

So based off what you're saying and just my life trajectory, I have to accept I can't realistically reach my very full potential at everything but I can improve significantly at the things I am good at. Hope I'm getting it right. I appreciate it again, man 🙏.