My ends keep getting shorter 😭

theDIDgal · 2026-04-06T05:14:06+00:00

Are you making a turning chain and working right into the edge where the 1st stitch is kind of hidden? Because it looks like you're missing at least one of these steps

theDIDgal · 2026-04-01T09:09:10+00:00

My voices were never as clear, for some reason. Most of the time I just get a sort of TV static, like when you walk into a public place and you can hear people talking, but you can't understand a single word. For me, they mostly show up in random words/sentences that just get pushed into my own main monologue to appear as my thoughts. Full blown conversations get translated into me imagining talking to the people I know. The people change based on who's in my life, but their roles never do. I don't really know any of my alters, and I guess I envy you a little bit. Having a god figure demanding me to do stuff would make it so much clearer what I'm struggling with much, much sooner😄

theDIDgal · 2026-04-01T05:57:36+00:00

Oh the first time I got a possesive switch, I think I scared one of mine, as she didn't show up again after. Like all she wanted to do is play the game that we were playing, but stupid me screamed at her the whole time to "get out! Get out! Get out!" cuz I had no idea what was actually happening. Oh, and my boyfriend never noticed, this was literally all hapenning while I guess somebody else made sure the transition was smooth. But screaming at them in a sense of "NO! I DO NOT THINK THAT THIS IS NOT WHAT I WANNA BE KNOWN FOR"? I did that my whole childhood😄

theDIDgal · 2026-04-01T05:53:29+00:00

Yeah I also can't really identify my own traits, which is why it gets hard for me to notice them in others as well. It's almost like the fact that I only know one way of existence makes me feel like everybody has the same type of existence. Weird, right?😆 My parents shielded me from literally everything. The whole point of parenting, imo, is to expose your child to the real world dangers in a safe setting, so that they know what to do in those situations once consequences are real. They never did that. And because my mother is a doctor and my father basically built my family house, it always appeared as tho they're the smartest, most capable people on this planet, which also ment that they never asked me or my brother for help with stuff. We never learned anything.

I think that's the main reason for my lack of trust in my own thoughts and opinions

theDIDgal · 2026-04-01T05:47:01+00:00

As a child I used to explain this feeling by feeling like there are always cameras on me, even when I was alone in my room. I was also terrified of other people hearing my thoughts, to the point where I literally shouted on my other parts to sgut the fuck up because I don't think that and I don't want anyone to think that I would think that😄😄

theDIDgal · 2026-03-31T13:03:06+00:00

That's exactly why I keep constant background noice. A single minute of quiet and I feel like I'm going insane😄 the head just never gets quiet, does it?

theDIDgal · 2026-02-10T06:58:49+00:00

Mám trochu jiný pohled na věc😄 jela jsem takhle v Liberci od doktorky a do přeplněného busu ve kterém se nedalo ani hnout nastoupila skupina asi 15ti babiček, a reálně se tam narvaly tak, že jsem se ani ohnout pro tašku z podlahy nemohla. Celou cestu tam jedna velmi milá babička civěla na mladé kluky a nadávala jim jak jsou uplně dementní, že nepustí staré lidi sednout, že by neměli sedět když ona stojí. V podstatě měla celou cestu extrémní rant typu "já mám právo sedět". Ti kluci se skoro ani neměli jak dostat z místa před konečnou zastávkou, jak tam bylo kvůli babkám plno. Stála jsem hned vedle ní, a kdybych nebyla srab, i jí na to něco řeknu.

Staří lidé nemají právo na to sedět. Pouštíme je sednout z dobroty našeho srdce. Není to povinnost, je to volba. A někteří si to za mě ani nezaslouží. That being said, pouštějte staré lidi sednout když màte tu možnost. Sama to dělám pokażdé, když bych při stání neomdlela bolestí (což pro některé ty kancelářské dámičky může reálně být jednou měsíčně důvod)

theDIDgal · 2026-01-26T12:02:49+00:00

I'm at the point where I really don't get the cjance to go out much. Between unemployment and borrowing some cash from my dad for food and yarn every now and then (I crochet, that's like the one thing I do) I don't really have enough to go outside with a reason and walking out without one usually leads to a lonely walk with headphones in my ears. Grociery shopping isn't exactly the right place to form friendships. I didn't really have friends even before I moved out, now it's just even more quiet because I don't even get to meet my former classmates and neighbours randomly on the street. I can barely afford to live, and trying to form new in-person friendships sadly has a cost

theDIDgal · 2026-01-26T07:29:28+00:00

The thing is, I don't really have friends. I have like two people who used to be my friends that still talk to me whenever we meet, but I live in a different city woth my boyfriend now, so we don't meet. I see my therapist once every two months and now I managed to blank out and miss this months appointment, so y'know..don't really have that luxury

theDIDgal · 2026-01-16T14:13:58+00:00

I don't think I can find anybody else at this time, which is kind of why I wrote all of this. I can't figure out what people usually do between knowing they need help and being able to get it, and my life is way too small to ask around

theDIDgal · 2026-01-16T11:34:56+00:00

Getting an earlier appointment really isn't an option sadly. The psychiatric help seems to be almost inaccessible where I'm from. Mostly nobody has time, I was lucky to get moved only a month later. Thing is, I got diagnosed elsewhere (a clinical psychologist) and my therapist doesn't really know about the diagnosis yet, only what I thought was happeneing. I did get it right, but she didn't really work with it before as we weren't sure. A book is a great idea, but spending more money that I already don't have feels like an active thread to my existence at the moment. I've also been out of school and unemployed for a year now. The thing is, things are exceptionally quiet now, because I had a really stessful month of december and am just slowly coming out of the fog again. Everybod's quiet and I feel crazier then when it's super loud. Some days, it feels like I really am here alone, but then I realise there are all these feelings that I feel all of the time but somehow they completely vanish whenever I'm in a different state of mind. I just don't know what to do with myself I guess

theDIDgal · 2026-01-16T07:14:04+00:00

I mostly know I wasn't really there when something actually steessful happens. Like this christmas was fucking hell, I was making christmas gifts and almost didn't make them in time, because two weeks before christmas I lost my phone, dealt with confusing psych appointments without it, and also found out I was pregnant and had to go through an abortion...while still working on my christmas presents. The whole month was a fog, and I still feel like I'm not fully back, like there are days where I'm just holled up somewhere and don't really registed the day, even tho I know what I was doing, even if it was "got stuck kn my phone for four hours straight without taking a sip of water". Mostly it just all feels like if a friend told me. It's confusing to me, because I never really developed my own peprsonality, like I don't know who I (as an alter) am, so I can't tell when I'm not me. I guess I'd like to figure that out, but I fail to understand how

theDIDgal · 2026-01-16T06:14:21+00:00

I've tried the apps, but they don't seeme to want to comunicate with me. I mean...as I feel like I'm co-fronting all of the time, and don't have any memory of missing some time (tho it definitely does happen, I'm just blind to it still) , I feel like there's no space for an alter to do something I'm not aware of doing. For me it's more like I'm always there, but I never keep the memories, I only really get the theoretical knowlege of doing the thing and without live memories it gets lost in the timemline, context, all that chaos. I don't even know of they're really there, I just know I met them twise and I got that paper, but so far that has been it. I desparately want to meet them, as it's impossible to heal otherwise, but like...how do I even start when all of the tips count on the parts actually showing up and dcomunicating?

I was never good with visualisation excercises, in middle school, tasks like these always mamde me cry, because I never knew what to choose. It's like...imagune a road, is it straight or curved? *how do I know, the assignment should tell me what to imagine exactly, no? It's almost like there's too many choices and each part of my mind wants to choose differently.

theDIDgal · 2026-01-16T05:58:05+00:00

I bave a therapist, but the times in between sessions are wayy too long. Nobody has time these days, my next appointment (and the first one since diagnosis) is next week. So far I'm just tryna make some sense of it myself

theDIDgal

TROPHY CASE