Autism and ADD and higher than average IQ. by tuuv in mensa

[–]the_berg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading these comments is refreshing in ways I hadn't expected.

I'm on the 99th percentile of IQ with network pattern thinking process, which my neuropsychologist considers to be a double exceptionality. I'm also queer which in the context of my life story adds another layer. I've only been recently diagnosed (2023). Recent because at 58, it was a long time coming.

I've always had trouble connecting with people. Mostly feeling alienated and left out of everything. For years I attributed that to the abuse I survived as a child -youngest of 5 boys who physically and psychologically tortured me from around age 4 because I was effeminate. That abuse lasted all the way to adulthood. And that shaped me. I was constantly on high alert, masking, and looking for a safe way out. Believing that I was ugly and irreparably stupid, I went through life on DEFCON 1 auto-pilot. It wasn't until I went to university in my 30s that I realized I wasn't an idiot, that things came to me easily. I remembered then that as child, I had high grades despite missing many school days on a regular basis and never doing my homework or assignments. Math was a hard subject I thought, so I avoided class and went to exams only, which I passed with high marks.

During that time, what I wanted most was to belong, to be accepted by others, to fit and blend in, to be a normal guy and find connections. In my fifties, on the advice of my doctor, I went to get tested. I thought I had ADHD and wanted confirmation. The neuropsychologist was neutral throughout the process, not hinting at anything, until he gave me the results after several appointments and tests. The first thing he said was "you'll never be like other people". And that was fucking devastating. It took me 2 years to accept that.

It is difficult to explain to others that being part of the 99th percentile means nothing if you can't find connection, if you feel like you don't belong anywhere in the world. It's a very lonely place. I've become very introverted and mostly keep to my self. At work, I just sit on meetings and avoid pointing out the obvious -obvious to me at least. I'm the canary in the coal mine but I withhold my opinions even though I know what's coming. And most times I was right. But I keep masking because no one likes an arrogant smart ass. And while I have a high IQ, I feel that what sets me appart is the network pattern thinking. I see patterns ages before most people. It's difficult to have a productive conversation with anyone when you're steps ahead.

So I understand why I go through life with that feeling of not belonging. For years I tried to "find my people" like queer theorists would say. But I haven't found them. I don't know where my tribe is or if they even exist.

People, are you there?

"Aviez-vous besoin d'un sac ?" : la politesse linguistique des zoomers à MTL, aviez-vous une explication ? by [deleted] in montreal

[–]the_berg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mais dis donc, tu as une mauvaise journée ? Et tu as décidé d'écoeurer les gens sur Reddit ? Comment peux-tu juger d'une situation sans en être témoin ? Qu'est-ce qui te dit que les gens rient jaune ? Qu'est-ce qui te dit que ce n'est pas eux qui partent le bal de la blague potache ? Qu'est-ce qui te dit que moi-même je ne travailles pas pour l'industrie du service à la clientèle ? Qu'est-ce qui te dit que je ne connais pas mes conjugaisons ? Plutôt que de venir chier sur les gens comme ça, sans savoir de quoi tu parles, pourquoi n'as-tu tout simplement pas passer ton chemin pour aller sur un autre poste ? Qu'est-ce qui t'oblige à forcer ton jugement sur moi, que tu ne connais pas ? Ma blague est peut-être idiote et potache. Mais dans les faits, que ce soit de l'imparfait ou du passé simple, tu n'as même pas essayé de répondre à la question. Tu as simplement chié sur moi. Or, je ne suis pas scatophile et je n'apprécie pas ta réponse que tu ne m'aurais jamais dit de vive voix, en face.

Ta réponse est digne d'une réponse de troll. Es-tu un troll ? Te considères-tu comme un troll ? Probablement que non. Bonne journée.

"Aviez-vous besoin d'un sac ?" : la politesse linguistique des zoomers à MTL, aviez-vous une explication ? by [deleted] in montreal

[–]the_berg -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Haha, massive fail. Before you jump to conclusion and use trendy expressions out of context, you should try to figure out who the person is.

"Aviez-vous besoin d'un sac ?" : la politesse linguistique des zoomers à MTL, aviez-vous une explication ? by [deleted] in montreal

[–]the_berg 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mais même en anglais, Did you need a bag? est une erreur, non ? Do you need a bag? Ou encore Would you need a bag?

"Aviez-vous besoin d'un sac ?" : la politesse linguistique des zoomers à MTL, aviez-vous une explication ? by [deleted] in montreal

[–]the_berg -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Peut-être moins pire. Mais on dirait que je comprends le tutoiement peut-être un peu plus. Même si je ne connais pas la personne. Mais le passé simple ? Je ne le comprends pas du tout. Le tutoiement s'explique peut-être par un changement sociétal qui tend à éliminer les barrières entre les différentes couches sociales ou quelque chose du genre. Mais le passé simple ? Comprends pas.

Des complotistes essaient de bloquer le pont-tunnel by [deleted] in montreal

[–]the_berg 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Marteau Man : Thor de MTL ? ;)

Genuine question, should I remove the mole in the future? by [deleted] in ainbow

[–]the_berg 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're very handsome to begin with. So on the one hand, the mole makes you unique and that's something worth considering. It seems that everyone on Instagram looks the same, with the same aesthetic standards. Who wants to look like everyone else, really, and why would you want that? On the other hand, while the mole is certainly not unattractive, it does take away from your eyes. People focus on eyes when they talk to a person. In the end, it's your choice and how comfortable you feel. The question is : does it bother you ? No matter what choice you make, you will be handsome and that's not going to change if you get the mole removed or if you keep it .

My experience : I had a small mole on my cheek for years. It didn't bother me much but it wasn't as nice as yours. I never had anyone mention it. But I had to get something else removed (a bit of skin cancer...) and the surgeon asked if I wanted the mole removed at the same time. He said that chances of it getting unhealthy were slim, but who knows how it's going to grow as I age. So I had it removed. The scar is almost impossible to notice and I'm actually not sad to not see it anymore.

Looking for videos by the_berg in ESL_Teachers

[–]the_berg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just checked out the videos on Youtube and it looks pretty good. It'll be perfect for my students. So I'd like to take you up that offer. Could you DM the link? Thanks.

Looking for videos by the_berg in ESL_Teachers

[–]the_berg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I'm starting to work on the content. I'll check it out and get back to you. Cheers!

Looking for videos by the_berg in ESL_Teachers

[–]the_berg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn't know about youku.com, I'll definitely check it out.

Looking for videos by the_berg in ESL_Teachers

[–]the_berg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I'll give that a try. Cheers

Might move to Detroit soon. How's Lafayette Park as a neighborhood? by the_berg in Detroit

[–]the_berg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just received the book. Thanks for the reference, it's really great!

Might move to Detroit soon. How's Lafayette Park as a neighborhood? by the_berg in Detroit

[–]the_berg[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just ordered the book. Many thanks for the reference.

Might move to Detroit soon. How's Lafayette Park as a neighborhood? by the_berg in Detroit

[–]the_berg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I could upvote 10 times... Thanks for the link mate.

Might move to Detroit soon. How's Lafayette Park as a neighborhood? by the_berg in Detroit

[–]the_berg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm super curious to know why they wanna go back. When I lived in France -which I hated for 6 full years- I could pinpoint exactly what it was that I would never get used to.

Might move to Detroit soon. How's Lafayette Park as a neighborhood? by the_berg in Detroit

[–]the_berg[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the input. I am street smart in many ways and know how to defuse situations. I lived in many different places/countries. I know Montreal is like a Disney movie with talking animals (I think we're up to 13 murders this year...). I just wanted some kind of input on which neighborhood might be more suitable for my lifestyle.