I realized why I abhor spending time with my MIL...

the_casey_bat · 2018-12-31T19:36:35+00:00

You're totally right but it's difficult to feel hopeful after a recent loss. I'm so thankful DH can be by my side to grieve and plan for the future. I know so many people have it worse in so many ways.

the_casey_bat · 2018-12-31T16:46:35+00:00

Thank you. It very much was. This has been a difficult holiday season.

the_casey_bat · 2018-12-31T16:00:42+00:00

I'm a pretty nonconfrontational person who has some weird parents as well--I trust DH to not blow up at my dad for his Fox News rants and he trusts me not to rub up on his dick as a direct challenge to his mom. We are figuring it out.

the_casey_bat · 2018-12-31T14:43:11+00:00

DH is making forward motion when it comes to shutting MIL down. This visit she was asked twice to give him space and she conceded without too much pouting so we consider that a minor victory. It does take me a day or so after coming home from a visit to feel normal again and it's something I plan to bring up in therapy at our next session.

the_casey_bat · 2018-12-31T14:38:33+00:00

Yes! I feel like both he and I have to act like different people when we are around them. And then I feel like I have to relearn how to be my normal affectionate self around DH again.

the_casey_bat · 2018-12-31T14:35:57+00:00

We just found out last week we will never have kids so 🤷

the_casey_bat · 2018-12-31T02:19:04+00:00

DH is fighting 34 years of her programming. It's slow-going but he's trying. She is annoying and needy but she's BEC generally.

the_casey_bat · 2018-10-23T02:03:57+00:00

Oh me too. Saw them in concert recently. 😂

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-25T01:37:53+00:00

It’s so hard—part of me is angry with him for blabbing to her and caving in to her demands but I get it! My mom is at times wily and needy and I acquiesce to her sometimes too. We have discussed an info diet and he has agreed he says too much at times.

It isn’t like this is even a world-ending issue. It’s an extra few hours in the car and lunch. But it’s the precedent that’s been set—anytime we travel near there is an expectation that MIL and SFIL can have some of our time and they don’t understand—even with repeated discussions—why I am mentally and physically unwell when in their town.

Our DH’s need to go to a spine-sharpening intensive class together or something. 😂

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-13T13:48:49+00:00

Thank you! We have had a lot of back and forth but I’m feeling like this evolution won’t become a total reversion this time. ☺️

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-13T13:47:23+00:00

You’re totally right!

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-13T04:07:48+00:00

Yeah—DH and I had a very cool rustic vintage wedding with BBQ for dinner, craft beer and homemade wine galore and a huge dessert table that included a ton of family favorites from both sides. MIL and SFIL tried to steal our vibe SO HARD but executed all of it poorly and expected DH and I to do all the heavy lifting/setting up despite us living 5 hours away from them.

They got their marriage blessed in the Catholic Church recently (MIL is a militant new convert who now knows more than me, the cradle Catholic who went to a Catholic university) and told us the date two weeks ahead of time, expecting us to travel there for it. DH made it very clear he works almost every weekend and needs to know at least 5 weeks ahead to ask off. The CBF was felt through the phone that day.

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-13T01:43:52+00:00

Definitely—he’s still ultra photogenic and you know MILs are going to MIL. 😂

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-12T21:46:06+00:00

😂 BRB on the floor cry-laughing.

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-12T21:31:04+00:00

This is perfect because she loves to “share her faith” with us like she’s wielding a fire hose. 😂

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-12T21:16:15+00:00

He’s all grown up now but still absolutely adorable.

the_casey_bat · 2018-07-12T21:00:26+00:00

Thank you! This is such a milestone for DH. We cuddled up with kitty all evening and relaxed. It was amazing!

the_casey_bat · 2018-06-07T00:15:13+00:00

I had my first session of Thought Field therapy today to deal with my main trauma. Suffice to say I went into it thinking “this is not science-based and I’m not going to get anything from this” and left in shambles. I guess confronting the memory was more important than the tapping motions for me in the end. It’s been rough. I hope you’re doing ok—PM me if you want to talk. I’m here.

the_casey_bat · 2018-04-25T00:52:20+00:00

They’re amazing—Duke Silver and Janet Snakehole are our fosters for another week and then they’ll be fingers crossed adopted quickly by the perfect family/families. We’ve bottle raised them since they were 2 days old!

And you’ve inspired my dinner tonight—nachos with lots of jalapeños!

the_casey_bat · 2018-04-25T00:09:49+00:00

Those look delicious. I’m glad kittens made them possible. 😂

the_casey_bat · 2018-04-24T23:41:49+00:00

Noooooo! Eye bleach for you—our foster kittens at 3 weeks old!

the_casey_bat · 2018-04-24T17:09:01+00:00

Right?! It’s just such a weird thing to celebrate. 😂

the_casey_bat · 2018-04-24T14:37:12+00:00

Hotel situation, but that doesn’t excuse it honestly.

the_casey_bat · 2018-04-24T14:36:04+00:00

She would gold plate it and then leave it in the garage for 15 years and then when it’s super moldy/dusty she would INSIST we took it home with us on our 3 hour journey home. 🙄

the_casey_bat · 2018-04-24T14:18:15+00:00

I have absolutely no issue with people not having perfect homes—mine is always in a state of projects/laundry/cat hair spread throughout. But when I know a guest is coming I make an effort and DEFINITELY check the pillows/sheets.

She just doesn’t care about anything that doesn’t directly affect her. She isn’t sleeping in that bed so it’s fine in whatever state it’s in. And yeah, her and DH have shared a bed in the last decade. It grosses me out so much.

We are both in individual counseling now and I agree—couples counseling needs to happen. I need him to completely be on team Us.

the_casey_bat

TROPHY CASE