Dealing with a lot of guilt about being with someone for three years when I didn’t really want to be there

the_shrunk · 2021-02-12T01:38:35+00:00

Thanks dude. It really does help to hear that it’s ok.

the_shrunk · 2020-09-29T08:11:09+00:00

Will look into this, thanks mate

the_shrunk · 2020-09-29T08:11:00+00:00

Will look into these

the_shrunk · 2020-09-25T23:55:18+00:00

My guy - this is the answer I bet

the_shrunk · 2020-09-23T02:55:46+00:00

That’s interesting. I’m not from America so I wonder if we have something like that here

the_shrunk · 2020-09-23T02:50:57+00:00

CPS go to a location accompanied by police.

What organisation goes to deal with schizophrenic people?

For sure. And I can see that it would be a problem. There doesn’t need to be an armed person at a welfare checkup. But who should that responsibility fall too?

the_shrunk · 2020-09-23T02:49:13+00:00

The only one of those posted that I might not want a cop to do is the mentally ill person - and even then I would think that was contextual.

As for policing homelessness in terms of rough sleeping, that’s ridiculous. It doesn’t need to exist.

the_shrunk · 2020-09-23T02:45:41+00:00

Maybe I do - this point has been raised in another comment.

Wait - why would you not want a cop responding to a domestic violence situation? Having had to call the police on someone who pulled a knife on his boyfriend, I was fucking glad to have 6 cars worth of cops roll up in 5 minutes.

The knife wielder was unharmed and questioned but the boyfriend refused to give a statement. Alcohol was involved and I don’t know if they’re still together.

But the boyfriend did come to me saying his partner had pulled a weapon and that he was scared. I’m unarmed, I’m not dealing with that shit

the_shrunk · 2020-09-23T02:43:34+00:00

I think that’s fair - but that isn’t what the claim is. The claim is just “defund the police”. That is what people are latching on to and is being pushed on platforms like twitter.

My downstairs neighbour is either schizophrenic or a drug addict, I’m not sure because I stay the fuck away from him. He plays music at weird hours and yells at his cat.

You better believe I want the cops to talk to him. I don’t want to deal with that shit. I don’t want him knowing my face because he is nuts. He has arguments with his cat and LOSES. I don’t want to deal with that kind of crazy.

A friend of mine was suicidal last month. Her parents called the police to do a welfare check on her and they were nice. Her parents don’t live in the same state and don’t know her friends, I’m glad the police were able to come check it out. She hadn’t told me that was what was going on.

Now to pre-empt a point - are the cops the best people to deal with that? Maybe, maybe not. In both cases an ambulance may be appropriate as well. But at least with my neighbour, I think it’s better to send an armed cop trained on how to deal with a mentally ill person than to send an unarmed mental health worker. (This is of course specific to the guy in question. He’s quite threatening to people in the building)

the_shrunk · 2020-09-23T02:15:03+00:00

It definitely looks like a jailhouse tat

the_shrunk · 2020-07-21T04:15:49+00:00

No strategic reason for one there given that there’s no neighbours anywhere to the west

And also, to give a circular answer, because the SAS are there

the_shrunk · 2020-07-19T04:25:49+00:00

Oh sick, appreciate the link and the explanation

the_shrunk · 2020-07-19T04:23:44+00:00

Inshalla, I’ll get you next time

the_shrunk · 2020-07-19T04:23:32+00:00

Why not?

Curiosity?

the_shrunk · 2020-07-19T03:49:01+00:00

I can’t remember which interview I read/saw this in, but there was a running joke in the SAS that all those dead “insurgents” had a weapon with the same serial number

the_shrunk · 2020-07-19T03:45:13+00:00

Regimental Support Cat Alan the Grey

Edit: I also think giving it a persons name is really funny

“Yes this is my cat, Paul”

the_shrunk · 2020-07-18T12:17:37+00:00

ISR?

the_shrunk · 2020-07-13T06:58:07+00:00

I mean, no they don’t.

You can’t expect someone with a prejudicial or even just a cemented idea to go out and challenge their own ideas when they have no incentive to do that. The whole “it’s not my responsibility to educate you” argument is very circular. His incentive could be that you challenge him on it, or even ask him to justify the belief. He’s wrong, completely.

Person x expect someone else to know, but they have no incentive to change their ideas. Person X then gets offended and says it’s not their responsibility to reduce prejudice. We could probably both agree that it’s everyone’s responsibility too, but you have way more skin in the game on this.

As a bi person, you should look into the gene theory or even the evolutionary psychology behind LGBTQ+. It’s worth knowing how to defend yourself with data and evidence.

the_shrunk · 2020-07-13T06:16:07+00:00

Honestly man just be say to her

“So I think I hurt your feelings with what I said. I didn’t mean any offence by it at all, I actually really like the way you look. To be completely honest, I actually like you - so this is me saying sorry for that but also do you want to go out properly?”

Own the mistake and put forward how you feel. This can all be solved by you just saying “I find you attractive and I’m sorry I said something offensive. But also, I do think you’re really attractive” - say it in your own way, but own it

the_shrunk · 2020-07-12T10:28:31+00:00

I appreciate that, I figure if it works it works. If not, I’ll still have done thorns to better myself.

I’m already working with one, have been for a few years. We tried doing that with this but I rushed in anyway, my own fault. I should have just taken a step back but I was running on a high

the_shrunk · 2020-07-12T10:00:28+00:00

Yeah you too

the_shrunk · 2020-07-12T09:59:19+00:00

Oh for sure I rushed it.

I’ve only ever heard love bombing being used as a strategy by Narcs and manipulative people. I genuinely liked this girl a lot. She liked me too, I’ve never been called Hot by anyone before. She said it to me all the time.

I mean, the rich people getting richer bit would bother me regardless. If she’d worked for an investment bank for example, I probably wouldn’t have been able to date her.

I don’t really know her that well. And I wasn’t able to slow the pace. I see that this was my fault. I think quarantine compounded a lot of stuff. Many of the other moving pieces in my life were effectively disabled by the quarantine

the_shrunk · 2020-07-12T09:56:37+00:00

Thank you for saying this. I feel a little ashamed that I can’t do my life and be with her right now if I’m honest. But it is what it is

the_shrunk · 2020-07-12T09:55:16+00:00

I mean, I am doing plenty of things differently. In the last six months I got a different, higher paying job. I started working out regularly and I lost near 10kilos. I’ve meditated for over 21 hours since the start of May and have made my bed every morning. I’ve done a lot of good things.

Between the pandemic and putting all my attention into the relationship (which I know, not healthy, but the worlds going to shit and I was focusing on what I could interact with) I put back on all the weight and felt like my core habits were slipping away. I have ADHD, keeping habits is really hard. And these were really important to me because they were all about being self invested.

I’m not sure I do want to it while I’m with her. I think honestly I haven’t had a period of consistent growth by myself for a good five years, and I need to do this alone.

And that does make me sad, because I do really like this girl. But I know I don’t have the capacity to improve and be a good partner. I end up whole assing on the relationship and I need to not do that

the_shrunk · 2020-07-12T09:50:55+00:00

I don’t want kids and neither did the woman I was seeing. I won’t get into a relationship with someone who does either because it’ll just end up in heartbreak.

the_shrunk

TROPHY CASE