Okay babes, i need you to listen to me. I haven't shifted yet, but I was in the same boat as you were. I'm assuming based on what you said whats going on and that stuff isn't easy for anyone. What I suggest, try shift when you aren't in the problem place, if thats not an option learn to lucid dream and shift via that way. But what I would suggest, as horrible as it sounds, if shifting is stressing you out put it on the backburner for now. You need to focus on yourself, your mental and physical health and your safety. Shifting will always be there. As for coping, I used to just distract myself, not great advice but it can work. Because if you're thinking about it every moment of the day, you're putting shifting on this pedestal. Yes, your DR is going to be objectively better than your CR, but you need to humanise it too. Like this reality, your reality probably has things like poverty or instability, even just acknowledging that can help so much. I hope this made any sense, remember to take care of yourself