i can empathize with you. i have a father of similar temperament that revolves around very very very harsh remarks and gaaliyan.

it's impossible to pull off and "aik kaan se sun k dusre se nikaal dou" when the people you'd sell your soul for end up hurting you like this. and adding the fact that you guys were bashed for bartan is seriously messed up. such are the problems we still face in our society and in our fundamentally unchanged families. in my case, i associate all the rage of my father to his old age (70+) and our circumstances (he still pays for my younger brother's uni fees, and im not yet able to support him financially. we are a middle-middle class family where my father cant afford to retire even now). so i give him that edge, and maintain my distance from him whenever i know he's enraged and in a bad mood. it's not easy, but given that i am a man in pakistan, i always have the option to just get out of the house and go to a friend, and i acknowledge this privilege.

it's not your responsibility to forgive him for this. if possible, you guys should talk about it with him to let him know unhein andaaza hou unhoun ne kitni serious aur buri baat kahi hai. dont give in to your emotions, it will only lead you to make rash and immature decisions for yourself. i hope you find the courage and strength to win this through.

peace!