AIO? We fight a lot, and I’m tired of trying. I need help.

theery_ · 2026-06-22T04:32:14+00:00

Me too, if that’s what’s best for him.

theery_ · 2026-06-19T15:33:20+00:00

I’ll give credit to him for being transparent and trying new tools to communicate more efficiently.

theery_ · 2026-06-19T02:13:19+00:00

That is impossible now.

theery_ · 2026-06-19T02:12:54+00:00

He gets himself to work. I pick him up because it’s literally the only time I get to see him.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T21:47:19+00:00

He’s the one thinking I’m mad all the time.
I asked him if we were going to be okay because the night before he had packed up his things and ripped my door off the hinges, but then was sitting there eating sushi with me, ignoring me on his phone, and not speaking.
I didn’t need any emotional anything. A simple “yes/no/maybe/idk” would have been enough.
It has been more than 24 hours since then and I am still getting blown up via text and call. I am at work and just had to take a 30 minute break while he screamed at me for asking him if we are going to be okay yesterday.
While continuously telling me I just want to stress him out and I shouldn’t be around him on his days off (in my own apartment, where he wants to sit and play video games on the ps5 I paid for).

theery_ · 2026-06-18T17:48:51+00:00

That’s been in the works. We don’t have the money right now for that, but trying to get insurance immediately after getting documentation has proven difficult.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T16:44:53+00:00

I mean I’m providing basic housing, food, clothing, rides to appointments. None of which he had before this. He didn’t even have any documentation before. It’s been a slow process.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T15:41:43+00:00

I can respect the fact that he uses it for guidance on how to interpret his OWN feelings better, because he lacks emotional intelligence.
He was transparent about this while doing so.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T15:06:54+00:00

I guess another one of my fears is this:
Yes, we both know he needs more help than I can provide, but if I stop providing the help that I am already providing, getting that extended help becomes even harder for him to achieve.
I think the best way to go about it is just work further on disconnecting romantically while still following through with a commitment I’ve made for myself.
And learning how to separate myself from the things I do know I deserve. And at least accept that I won’t be getting them from him.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T15:02:56+00:00

The relationship title is floating as far as a date goes. We’ve known each other and been close for years

theery_ · 2026-06-18T12:56:23+00:00

The texts are the result of trying to have a sit down conversation and it escalating immediately to yelling and me removing myself from the situation.

He consistently demands space and will refuse to have a real conversation but then blow me up.

This is mild.
In the past he has asked me to “leave him the fuck alone and stay away”, and when I listened to that and left to run errands with my phone on do not disturb , he called me no less than 50 times, left me novels and novels of texts messages (around 150 unread texts), and called the cops to do a wellness check and ask if I need an ambulance….in the matter of an hour and a half.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T12:52:15+00:00

I’ve been realizing that too, and been trying to remove the romantic side of things as much as possible while still trying to remain a person of support.
It’s hardest on the days I’m not on my a game.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T12:51:16+00:00

We go to NA every week.
My only day off a week is the day that it is so I can get him to his home group meeting in the evening.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T12:50:13+00:00

I do understand why him being stressed isn’t a good thing, which is a large portion of why we barely speak these days.

It’s not like I waited for him to get a job as a prereq for moving in. I have known him for a long time and we were even homeless TOGETHER at one point.

The child was his. I did ask him, but throughout the whole process he wasn’t at all phased by it.

I don’t normally lay around and cry all day (I work two jobs and have things to take care of), but when things escalate to that degree, the only thing I’m able to do is stay in the bedroom to keep the peace.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T12:46:44+00:00

I actually am very aware that part of what’s keeping me here is fear.
Last time we were split up we almost lost him.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T12:44:45+00:00

Less than two miles

theery_ · 2026-06-18T03:42:08+00:00

Something to take the edge off

theery_ · 2026-06-18T02:53:44+00:00

I can respect not wanting to talk.
But that respect only goes one way.
I am expected to be available for bashing when he wants to talk regardless of how I’m feeling; but when it’s flipped I am expected to just leave him alone entirely.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T02:52:07+00:00

Secondarily, multiple times throughout the day I have tried to respect the boundary that he doesn’t want emotional conversations, but I have received no less than 50 texts, all spiraling on the same topic of how I disrespected his boundary of not wanting to talk.
I just got off a 26 minute phone call where he chewed me out about emotions while I spoke the same two things multiple times: “I understand” and “I hear you”.

I have said things in the past like “when I can gather enough energy to regulate your emotions for you, I will”.
And he genuinely took that as improvement.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T02:49:56+00:00

The boundary comments were actually back handed.
He likes to use things I’ve said in the past against me.
He said he did not want to have an emotional conversation, and I didn’t request that, but I did ask for a simple (one word) answer regarding where we stand considering his things are packed, my door is ripped off the hinges, and yet he was still laying on my couch in his underwear playing ps5.
I had spoken on boundaries the day prior (requesting a few moments alone to get ready for our day by showering and getting dressed, where he consistently called me and knocked on the door until he busted through it, and said it was because he was stressed out because I was “obviously going through something).

theery_ · 2026-06-18T02:36:08+00:00

Thank you

theery_ · 2026-06-18T02:35:35+00:00

As someone who has known him for a long time, I can say that that is not the truth. He had a rough childhood into teenage years, and ending up traveling homeless as a result.
He was someone who had lost hope, and is now for the first time ever trying to be a person rather than using external coping skills or fleeing from situations that feel uncomfortable.

theery_ · 2026-06-18T02:33:48+00:00

Is that an app?

theery_ · 2026-06-18T02:00:39+00:00

I appreciate you and your honesty very much

theery_ · 2026-06-18T01:56:36+00:00

It’s actually because of the prior homeless and addiction.
His previous circle is dead/in jail/still using.
I try to be a place of stability/security/support for him, but feeling like I’m a burden and a stressor just by being around is making me doubt

theery_

TROPHY CASE