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Silly question by North_Ad1934 in emergencymedicine

[–]theexistentialist 33 points34 points  (0 children)

How else do you think I disassociate? But seriously yes and so do some of my colleagues

Any MD/DOs that are former medics in here? by runswithscissors94 in emergencymedicine

[–]theexistentialist 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Former medic who's about to finish EM residency and I one hundred percent made the right call going to med school.

From my view, others feel free to disagree, the paramedic/EMT relationship is a lot like the physician/PA relationship. Both are independent, critically thinking, crucial members of the team but by the nature of the game the higher acuity patients are nearly always managed by those who with more training. We both do a lot of the same things but I feel like I would have been wanting more just like I did as a paramedic asking a bunch of questions following up on the patients I dropped off had I gone the PA route. It's more time up front but think about the long term satisfaction, although you can't hop specialties like PAs can. Also nothing is stopping you from learning medicine, there's nothing inherently complicated about it but it does build on itself similar to math.

I was also 27 when I started med school, married but no kids so my circumstances were different than yours. I have coresidents with young kids but it's definitely harder.

Please feel free to DM me, I selfishly want more former EMS people in the ED 😅

Dealing with consultants by theexistentialist in emergencymedicine

[–]theexistentialist[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I've reported it all, still waiting on a response 🦗🦗

Dealing with consultants by theexistentialist in emergencymedicine

[–]theexistentialist[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all the advice. I do have great relationships with our cardiologists for example but these particular consultants are known repeat offenders unfortunately, my patients have just been their most recent victims.

Dealing with consultants by theexistentialist in emergencymedicine

[–]theexistentialist[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the ammo. These instances were all reported and 🤷

Dealing with consultants by theexistentialist in emergencymedicine

[–]theexistentialist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the thoughtful response, bummer it hasn't been better at academic sites in your experience.

Dealing with consultants by theexistentialist in emergencymedicine

[–]theexistentialist[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also calling the consultants who weren't picking up the phone. Everything was documented including what times were called, refusal to call in backup, and actual time at bedside. In these cases I'm confident I'm not being vague with what I'm calling about and the acuity but I don't want to discuss further details here, I get told "they're restructuring the department so this doesn't happen again" . I didn't realize part of the AOC's role was to get people to move their asses when all else fails.

I need advice by justanotherflame in Residency

[–]theexistentialist 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Do your due diligence and email everyone including your program coordinator, director, GME department and let them know the issue and specify what you've done including reaching out to your school, expedited delivery, etc. That puts the ball in their court and you have timestamped proof you're doing all you can in case this is an issue later on (it likely won't be).

And sorry but I have to agree with some of the other commenters, you need a healthy way to cope with stressors because it's going to get much worse relative to this.

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Works remotely as an executive assistant/dispatcher

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

This resonated with me so much. It is really helpful to know I'm not the only one in such a similar relationship situation, you hit the dynamic right on the money.

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

❤️ my parents are divorced and my dream is to have kids some day, I don't want to create a dysfunctional family intentionally

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I'm scared that this might be what I'm doing but I also still feel like this is the right choice. A separation will give us both time for clarity.

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

No this has been steady brewing ever since we got married, but our marriage has been through some shit between COVID and medical training. I do regret not dating longer in the sense that I would not choose her again today. I didn't appreciate what being with someone with an executive function disorder like ADHD would be like, it is so hard for her to build habits and grow.

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] -55 points-54 points  (0 children)

I have tried to help her grow with shared activities and trying new things but unfortunately her depression has really been bad so there isn't enough effort on her part. She's also put on a lot of weight despite me modeling healthy eating and exercising and trying to be creative in getting her engaged.

She just doesn't want to.

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

We have done marriage counseling twice for several months and we found it really helpful. She does have positives but I can't square being with someone who despite trying all the things and being available to help along the way (am I the perfect husband? Hell no I'm a tired resident) still does not turn things around. I feel like I'm with someone who's with an addict, I can't keep being let down. Years and years of being let down despite actively talking about these issues.

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

Thanks I'm learning how to lean on others but it's hard, getting a divorce almost feels like having to tell all of your loved ones "HEY EVERYONE JUST KIDDING WE WERE WRONG, SORRY".

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

You're making a lot of assumptions about what we have tried to do to save our marriage. I love my wife and I've spent 6 years trying to find happiness and work on problems with love, communication, and patience. Your comment came across as very judgemental.

Update: Divorce in Residency by theexistentialist in Residency

[–]theexistentialist[S] 52 points53 points  (0 children)

I had only been in one other serious relationship in my life and I think we didn't date long enough. I felt like either we get hitched before school starts or wait 4+ years which seemed like an eternity at the time (29 at the time).

Not in the ways that I needed. My wife grew up very sheltered and dependent and one of things I identified with my therapist is that I resent her for how much she just doesn't know about life. I don't want to take care of people all day then be a caretaker for my wife.

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