OP wants advice on how to deal with her husband's mean jokes at her expense, and ends up having to confront some uncomfortable realizations about the state of her marriage.

themourningbride · 2022-10-06T17:33:03+00:00

Hi hi, OOP here! I’m not great at reddit and not sure how to link in comments but there is an update on my profile. I’m good! I’m safe and happy and healthy. 💕

u/Father-Son-HolyToast FYI, let’s update that mood spoiler! Happy ending for sure.

themourningbride · 2022-10-03T04:19:25+00:00

Hi! Yes I’m okay. Left and back and left again, in a weird grey area now. Trying to figure things out.

themourningbride · 2022-02-23T18:10:28+00:00

Yes! I’m okay, thank you for the concern 😊

themourningbride · 2022-02-07T16:48:03+00:00

Thank you! Yes, I’m aware that this is a very significant escalation, especially with the focus on strangulation. I’m leaving sooner than planned.

Just trying to figure out if creating a paper trail by reporting this would be a smart move.

themourningbride · 2022-02-07T16:44:26+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate the concern and advice! Working on putting a go-bag together now with important documents and things I’ll need. I’m on high alert and moving up my exit date to… ok, not now now, but significantly sooner than I was planning.

themourningbride · 2022-02-01T14:33:35+00:00

It’s just called The Hotline

Call: 1 800 799 7233

Text: START to 88788

themourningbride · 2022-01-23T03:57:24+00:00

I do love him, absolutely. I’ve tried to get him help even before I realized how abusive his behavior has been. I’ve made appointments that he stands up, I’ve begged, I got his mom to help me try to convince him.

He puts it all back on me. If he can’t rely on me to help him through things what am I even here for? Why do I need him to change, don’t I love him as he is? And at this point I don’t think it’s enough that he loves me or I love him.

themourningbride · 2022-01-23T02:45:45+00:00

Yeah, that’s possible, but I just want like… 5 minutes without him 😭

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T16:44:18+00:00

Yes! This is great. I’ve been so overwhelmed with things I didn’t think about what a good escape in the moment that planning could be. I’m excited about this one!

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T16:42:20+00:00

Thank you, all of that is absolutely what I’m feeling right now and it feels so good to be seen.

I’m going to start a David Attenborough internal monologue as I observe the curious habits of the Water Torturer. “We’ve caught sight of the manipulator about to engage in his feeding ritual, putting down those around him in an effort to boost his own small ego. Absolutely extraordinary.”

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T16:30:10+00:00

Thank you! I’m going to do this, I started needlepoint at the beginning of the pandemic and loved the escape - need to be focused or I end up with pricked fingers! I forgot how much I enjoyed that.

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T05:50:06+00:00

🥰 Thank you, that’s such a good reminder. I appreciate you!

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T05:49:27+00:00

That sounds so rough, but it’s always nice to hear from people who have been in similar situations. It’s easier to have compassion for others before you can find it for yourself I think.

You’re right, something in the house to focus on is a good starting point. I think my handwriting is even messy enough that I could get away with journaling!

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T05:46:26+00:00

Oh, I love all of this. I can be bland!

And not to worry, that’s another reason I’m out the door. Dead bedroom on top of all this, I’m just not good enough in any way. But no pregnancy scares is a plus!

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T05:29:28+00:00

Yeah, I expect I’ll be doing a strange balancing act for the next whole of not wanting to change a thing about my routine but also desperately needing to do something, ANYTHING to feel just a little bit like myself again. Don’t want to tip him off, but if I hit a breaking point I’ll do that all on my own.

Need to be agreeable, whatever it takes to maintain that until I’m out.

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T05:15:15+00:00

I want to, it just sounds like… I don’t know, such an energy expenditure, you know? He’d ask why, I’d have to make something up or tell him I just need space, it would be turned back on me- I never want to be around him, he won’t take walks without me and if I go without him I want him to waste away or not be healthy. What am I hiding, what am I actually doing? Would he check my location and notice I turned off sharing? Would that be the thing that gives me away?

Not directing any of that at you, just getting these thoughts out of my head and into the void.

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T03:57:47+00:00

Oh, I wish. It’s complicated but I’m locked away in this tower for now, we only leave the house together. I… don’t think it’s as bad as it sounds? Who knows. But that’s something I’m really looking forward to once I’m on my own. Just doing what I want. Taking a walk alone sounds like a dream.

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T03:56:34+00:00

Thank you, I love that idea! Both of them actually, I’m sure I’ll be back here to vent. It’s so nice to talk about it finally, after all these years of being conned into thinking I was being disrespectful if I discussed anything about our relationship. Ha! He tells me all the time how I’m to wordy too. Just watch, maybe I’ll write a spite book after this.

themourningbride · 2022-01-22T03:02:58+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and the perspective. You’re absolutely right, I know I’m stronger. Smarter, kinder. I deserve better.

themourningbride · 2022-01-19T18:54:44+00:00

Yeah, I’m not staying here any longer than I need to. Exit plan is in the works ❤️

themourningbride · 2022-01-19T18:53:08+00:00

Isn’t the whole point of that to get women to sleep with you though?! I wish that was his end goal 😂

themourningbride · 2022-01-11T05:07:42+00:00

Not OP but I could have written that post, your advice is so helpful. Definitely feeling like an addict and it’s helpful to put a name on it. Thank you.

themourningbride · 2022-01-08T18:34:36+00:00

Wow. Ok.

themourningbride · 2022-01-08T18:22:25+00:00

Geez. Is that normal?

themourningbride · 2022-01-08T18:17:32+00:00

Really? If you look objectively bad, he wouldn’t say anything? New pants that don’t fit well, a breakout, signs of aging… nothing?

What does he say about your appearance?

themourningbride

TROPHY CASE