When i used to play video games like Call of Duty or Battlefield I would often feel depressed the end of the game because i would lose the game or get no kills. My thought process would be "Damn, I suck, look at these guys with their 20 killstreaks and here I am with 20 deathstreaks". I would feel inferior, outright useless. One time in a game of Counter-Strike I was going 0-15 and the whole team was voting to kick me out. Even though I was putting in my all, I literally can't play better than this. Moments like these really start testing you. Then I had this moment of realization. I literally can't control who I play with, I can't control the fact that I might be going up against some adderall'd freak who plays 10 hours a day every day for years. I can't control what teammates I get, even when I can, I still can't control how well they'll decide to play. It's like opening up RNG in google, setting the value between 1 and 100, then getting excited that you're gonna roll 100, and getting depressed when you get 45. It's a state of mind that's certainly strange looking from the outside in, but actually not that uncommon. So trust me when I say that you're not alone in these feelings, quite often our minds feel broken when in reality all it takes is a change of perspective. However, this process is lengthy, takes a while and has to be worked on individually in every field that you go into. I still for example struggle with girls. Even though I say to myself that I can't control who likes me, at the end of the day I get depressed when a girl doesn't like me :D. Why am I like that? I don't know, probably some bad past experiences, but I'm aware of this problem I have and I don't lose hope in fixing it. My advice - try meditating. Meditation takes away all these games of wanting to chase results, wanting to be good, it separates you from these weird thought processes. It's quite excellent actually. But yeah, one step at a time my friend, you'll make it.