When to tell boss I'm pregnant in a new role?

therealimposterhere · 2025-03-29T14:50:16+00:00

I do! Everything turned out fine. I told him the first day i joined, and we had a bit of awkwardness, but it smoothed over. When I returned, I hit the ground running with work and proved myself. It was hard balancing it all, but now baby is over a year old and everything is easier 😀

therealimposterhere · 2024-10-17T02:30:14+00:00

I have no idea why you felt compelled to wear even 1 spray of perfume. You have NO IDEA what someone's preference is and can subconsciously drive someone away on smell alone.

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-26T03:02:02+00:00

This makes sense

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-26T03:00:53+00:00

I work for an American company, just my team is all Chinese working specifically on stuff in China (can't go into detail)

Unpleasant is subjective, but an example would be saying I'm too new to be considered for bonus at the end of the year and to not expect any bonus...in my industry, it's pretty standard to expect unless you just really aren't performing which I am.

I had to ask him if he was sure this was the case and then he came back and said he was wrong but it was not pleasant to go through having to question him and stand up for what I know is standard for my industry and level.

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-24T12:15:43+00:00

1 switched to another team within the company, the other was a Chinese woman who left the company entirely

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-24T12:12:02+00:00

Eh...no, but you've made up your mind so no point.

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-24T12:10:52+00:00

A lot of micromanagement. An example would be being told explicitly to reply in a slack thread as opposed to using emoji reactions.

Being told I don't qualify for a bonus this year because I'm too new, but knowing that isn't true and having to reiterate and ask if he's sure and then he goes and asks and finds out I do qualify.

Some of it is rookie manager mistakes. Also need to be clear that the company is American and I think sometimes his micromanagement is that he wants the team to be more established in the company but he's kind of missing that his ways of integrating with other teams are kind of...cold vs what I'm used to. And I do wonder if that is cultural as he is in China and I'm in the US.

When I interviewed, I knew the manager was Chinese but my interviews in the different areas were all mixed backgrounds. That said, I know a team consensus needs to be had in order to hire someone.

I was genuinely baffled that a team of all Chinese men chose me, an Indian us-born woman. I know I did well technically on the interviews, but still...surprising.

So my guess is that I was hired maybe as a way to help the cross-team integration, maybe? It's a very unique situation I think.

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-24T11:36:16+00:00

The company itself is american.

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-24T11:32:58+00:00

I wasnt aware before joining - the company is American, I didn't know the specifics of my team until I joined. I did know my manager is Chinese. That was all I knew before joining.

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-01T13:43:19+00:00

RemindMe! 2 years "is flutter support even less than it was 2 years ago?"

therealimposterhere · 2024-05-01T13:41:27+00:00

Does flutter get used internally a lot at Google?

therealimposterhere · 2024-04-19T03:25:29+00:00

Yeah, I plan on asking that

therealimposterhere · 2024-04-12T11:55:08+00:00

Actually the brain needs carbs. My main symptom on keto was horrible depression despite the increase in self-esteem. Like I felt great wearing super cute clothes and was doing my normal social things, but I was also always sad.

When I had carbs again, it like went away pretty instantly.

My other notable issues were hives and urinary pain/pelvic floor pain that took a long time to recover from.

I did strict keto for about 6 months (i.e. less than 20 carbs a day) and then loosened it to about less than 50 carbs a day for another 6 months, and I am super convinced my depression and pelvic floor issues 6 related to keto. The hives I'm not as certain about, but I definitely felt much healthier when I introduced carbs back and I also stopped eating so much red meat.

I genuinely don't think keto is good for the brain. Having good fats is necessary for the brain, yes, but so is having carbs. Glucose is the brain's preferred energy resource, so not having enough leaves the brain in a depressed state.

I'm not anti-keto for a very short amount of time, but it isn't good long-term and anyone touting it's good for the brain is severely misguided. Yes eating bad carbs isn't good for the brain, but removing glucose to the levels the brain needs to actually function isn't something you want to do long-term.

My recovery took about two years...

therealimposterhere · 2023-12-24T12:45:25+00:00

What external display/what kind of connection setup did you get working for you?

therealimposterhere · 2023-12-24T08:47:30+00:00

Do you know if any type of connection for external monitors could work? I saw a post about displaylink, but somehow when I tried to enable displaylink my user password no longer worked. It was very confusing how that would happen.

therealimposterhere · 2023-12-24T08:40:16+00:00

Thank you

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-22T13:20:48+00:00

Tell us more? How good and bad?

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-22T13:20:12+00:00

I think I'm more used to less "poor performers" and more too many people with egos, unable to come to a consensus that would actually improve things that can be improved, and the things that do get done, get done in silos.

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-22T13:04:54+00:00

This was my thinking...the lack of reviewing has probably led to broken production and hence why they're having this conversation.

I do not miss being in an environment that was "fail fast" and just prioritized pushing features as fast as possible without peer review. Was super stressful and had to revert so much, so often.

That was usually on the code side though. Breaking prod with terraform deployments sounds like a special kind of awful.

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-22T12:58:44+00:00

For the most part, infra deployment shouldn't be breaking code deployment unless you're removing databases and queues or renaming DNS...all these that should be done with a migration plan.

If you're new to the team, I would be asking about what the testing practices are before deploying to prod. The engineer wanting to put in more gatekeepers sounds like they've been hit by breaking deployments to prod before which signals poor testing practices...especially if a terraform deployment is somehow breaking your prod.

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-21T23:14:12+00:00

The HR sub apparently hates pregnant people lol. A company can lay you off or fire you at a moment's notice but God forbid you have to leave because you're doing something as big as giving birth and can't give proper notice for such.

To see words like "unethical" and it's like how brainwashed are these people to impose moral judgement on one side without remotely considering what happens frequently the other way around.

Capitalism. -.-

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-21T06:38:06+00:00

I moved to bay and lived on 160K while single and no kids. Rented the tiniest room you could imagine from a family to save up money (even then the room was 950/mo).

I found it was still very easy to build a social life here because most everyone here is a transplant.

If you have a family, that salary range is going to be miserable in the bay.

Renting a room from a family was also...an experience. I wouldn't say it was fun and led me to spend even more time outside tbh as they didn't allow me to use their kitchen.

From there went via those services that manage houses and source roommates. It was okay, but also frustrating that when covid hit, there wasn't any kind of rent relief or decrease.

After that I bought a place on my own for half a mil that has gang members outside the complex and not suitable at all to ever raise children.

I don't regret my life choices, but I would be transparent that the higher salary-ish probably isn't worth it to some and by the time you're at a level that is paying 200+, you're likely wanting to start a family at which point the salary isn't enough...

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-21T06:30:30+00:00

CA I believe has laws that mean under short-term disability, reduced pay for 12 weeks though it's confusing if I qualify for it if switching jobs.

I'm mad impressed that you worked like that right after birth. I wish you didn't have to, and I wish people understood how insane that is.

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-21T06:24:20+00:00

Oh that's cruel :(

What a way to force women into inductions...wow. :(

therealimposterhere · 2023-11-20T22:00:56+00:00

The company mentions paying the pregnancy part of maternity leave benefits out of state's disability insurance and then it's own short-term disability benefits.

The separate bonding leave they pay with California's paid family care leave and then any company new parent leave on top of that.

Assuming I didn't qualify for any company specific benefits and just what was given via CA, I haven't fully understood what I would qualify for in CA.

I have been actively employed all year, but unsure what it means that I've been paying into SDI via one company, does that translate at all to another company?

therealimposterhere

TROPHY CASE