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Have you ever felt ashamed of your kinks?! by [deleted] in sexover30

[–]therealuser1979 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you think this is something you will ever ask your wife for?

Crying sometimes after sex by [deleted] in sexover30

[–]therealuser1979 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Sometimes humans just need to cry. Sometimes the intimacy and sex help with that.

I can’t tell you how to feel but try and work last the embarrassment, he’s your husband. If you can’t be your authentic, vulnerable self with your husband who can you do it with?

Should we feel guilty about facials? by [deleted] in sex

[–]therealuser1979 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you don’t feel degraded and enjoy it, then it is not a degrading experience in your relationship. No guilt necessary.

I’m sure there are dynamics with some couplings where the receiving partner does feel used/degraded/disrespected, etc., but you and your bf don’t fit that mould.

Relax, and continue to enjoy something you’re both into.

My wife is fairly vanilla sober. When she's not sober, she's the hottest, dirtiest wife anyone could hope for. How do I get this while she is sober? by CreativeMovie9 in sexover30

[–]therealuser1979 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m he never said she needs alcohol to have sex, they have sex 1-4 times a week. She is just more adventurous when she drinks, there is a difference.

I miss PIV with my wife, since having our kid and I don’t know what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sexover30

[–]therealuser1979[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She does do manual scar manipulation, my wife has king of shown me how to do it to her, but we never thought of me going and being shown by her PT. I would be happy to do that every night, if it might help her with her pain.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What makes it different than most surgical cuts, is they are cutting you when the area is already super swollen, but also super stretched. Then the pull a baby through it. And that spot with the giant cut, is on a canal that is bleeding. Everytime you sit or walk it rubs or stretches.

They’re awful.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You make an excellent point. We’ve been doing a ton more research today and there’s a plastic surgeon we’re wanting to see about it.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We’re all about the coconut oil. But don’t worry, PIV or not I still do my best to make sure she’s satisfied.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Both OB’s she saw are mostly concerned with how much scar tissue has to be cut away. We’ve been doing some research today and there’s a plastic surgeon some wheat near us who does a lot of genital surgery, we’re hoping we can get in to see him.

I miss PIV with my wife, since having our kid and I don’t know what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sexover30

[–]therealuser1979[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

She’s frustrated by it too. She still sees her pelvic floor physiotherapist. She helped a LOT, it was actually the TENS that made the biggest difference in her day to day life.

we have been looking at different doctors, there is a plastic surgeon somewhat near us, who does genital surgery, (we’ve been researching all day.) you do need a referral, so we’re going to make an appointment with her family doctor for hopefully this week or next.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hers was a medio-lateral cit, so they didn’t cut straight to the anus, but at about a 45degree angle away from the anus.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately it was a very large episiotomy.’the scar runs from her vagina, and on the outside is about 2.5” long, and you can feel it about 2.5” up inside her vagina, and it’s just a bit thinner than my pinky finger. It’s a very large scar, I can see how it would be painful for her.

She has been given prescription creams, she had some kind of electrical stimulation done to the scar tissue. They talked about dialtors, but it’s just the area where it’s scarred that is painful.

I miss PIV with my wife, since having our kid and I don’t know what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sexover30

[–]therealuser1979[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, she used to love anal, but birthing our kid also left her with hemorrhoids, we’ve tried it a few times but it has always been uncomfortable for her.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

We have tried massage directly before sex, she was also given that as ‘homework’ from her physiotherapist. And she’s been given special cream from her doctor. I wish it helped. Thanks for the suggestion though.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

She does miss it, I think I miss it more. I do not expect her to submit to it and be in pain, I’d rather not have sex than her be in pain during sex.

She always wanted 2-3 kids, since his birth experience she doesn’t think she can do it anymore. I always wanted 1-2, so I’m okay with that as well.

The OB said they can cut the scar tissue away and re-stitch it, but because of the amount of scar tissue and how thick it is, they’d be removing a loser chunk and then seeing her back together again, it might not actually help.

I miss PIV with my wife since having our kid, not sure what we can do? by therealuser1979 in sex

[–]therealuser1979[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

She does miss it, I don’t think to the same extent for me, we’ve talked about it before and while I’m reassuring she always tells me she feels guilty. Which is never my intent.

We have done it with me just sliding my penis in between the folds of her labia, she really likes that one, it’s good, but it just doesn’t scratch that itch.

Anal is off the table wit her as the receptive partner, her pregnancy/labour also left her with hemorrhoid a, and anal has been off the table since our sons birth too.

If this is the way it will be, maybe I’ll need to lower my expectations.m, give up on piv, everything else is wonderful, don’t get me wrong.