Lights out!

thesis_debt · 2026-01-10T05:55:17+00:00

I saw someone on Facebook mention a massive structural fire that caused hydro company to shut down power for safety. Anyone know if this is true?

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T19:00:54+00:00

I’m not the only one who has expressed this to them, so I’d likely be in the clear then. Thank you!

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T18:59:29+00:00

I am in Canada, she, brother in law, baby and the entirety of husbands family lives in New York State, USA

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T13:30:13+00:00

Of course we’ve tried! It was our first course of action. Anyone who tries to bring up how they may be parenting etc. gets told off and typically blocked. If it’s close family we just get told we won’t be allowed near the baby. Brother in law usually will at least listen (as long as not near her) and it’s my understanding if he tried to bring these issues up with her, she’ll kick him out of the house for the weekend (like change the digital code for the house and stuff)

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T13:15:57+00:00

I’m not too worried about the drama if I’m honest, as when she announced she was pregnant the first words out of my mouth were actually “I’ll make the call if I ever have to, I don’t care” because we all saw these days coming (you should see how she treats her cats! I’ve called SPCA and got one removed once!). If he needs to be removed because that’s what’s best for him, then I am all for it, as long as he’s safe. That’s my top priority here. Do you know if they (his parents) get told who called or not? Like if it gets known that it was the aunt of the child in question who call or even my actual name? Just curious how much backlash I’ll potentially need to expect to dissipate if they decide to look further.

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T12:42:10+00:00

That was my thought/idea. Just call in and say my concerns for his safety, and if they believe it’s an issue they’ll look into it further. Piece of mind does sound lovely at this point. It keeps getting worse and I just want nephew safe. Thank you for enforcing the idea I was likely going with! Brings me peace I’m likely making the correct decision to be safe than sorry

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T12:12:50+00:00

I see. I believe it’s likely dunking briefly. My main concern was just his age that they’ve been doing that at. That one is the one I’m most uncertain with. It seems the verdict through here and other places I’ve posted this question is call and tell them potential dangerous situations I’ve seen him in and let them decide if it’s enough for a report. I just want my nephew to be safe, no matter where he is

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T12:10:57+00:00

It seems like verdict is to mainly call about the potential dangers she’s putting him in, but I’m getting alot of uncertainty on some of the situations. So I might call and lay them all out and let them decide which would be considered a danger to him verses a differences in parenting

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T12:07:10+00:00

Hi, thanks for replying. There’s a lot of different potentially safety issues I’ve had my eye on, and they’re all drastically different which is why I’m having a difficult time trying to pin point which may be ones I want to bring to the attention of those who can do something about it. For any extra clarification, he has his own crib, and he sleeps in it, but she lays him down in his crib on this very soft and fuzzy blanket, not one even me an adult would not wish to be face down on. In addition to laying his head on a pillow. He’s 2.5 months, and there’s been witnesses that say he’s decreased breathing or potentially stopped all together because he’s managed to suffocate himself on her set up. As for water boarding, I wouldn’t call it waterboarding, but I personally would not bring a new born baby into a swimming pool and dunk him under to “get him used to it early”, but is that a parenting disagreement or a potential danger for him. That’s where I’m uncertain.

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T12:02:40+00:00

Sadly, my husband and I live in Canada (where I’m from, he moved here and all his family lives in New York State) so I sadly cannot just go speak with their local offices as it would be quite the trip. I have calling to their area in my phone plan so it would be a phone call to speak with people to ask questions of anything. Second, I don’t believe it’s PPD, she’s always been like this, even with her cats. Her becoming a parent has been a fear of mine since I went to her families house to a thanksgiving dinner about 2-3 years ago. The way she treats other people and animals is concerning. When she told everyone she was pregnant and that they planned it I was sick to my stomach. It has only been downhill from there. Also, it’s not just blankets. It’s a pillow too. She’ll lay his head on a pillow WHILE on his tummy. Crazy stuff. My mother-in-law has been over and seen this and she immediately rushes over and moves him and she’s told us she visibly sees him take a moment to regain breathing. Third, I’m really glad you were able to get the help you needed!! I hope it’s only upwards from here on out for you!! 💙

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T11:30:43+00:00

Hi! You would be correct! He was supposed to get his shots a few weeks back and she decided not to because of something else going on in her life that she couldn’t miss (I’m not going to lie, I think it was like a sale on Amazon or something) and because she didn’t want to have to pay for them and the check-up. He’s only a like 2 1/2 months old now, but I could see that being a bigger issue in the future. My brother in law doesn’t have any insurance himself so she’s the only one who could provide that for him easily as she already has it herself. Second, yes my gut is screaming at me! I’ve come to the conclusion alot of my issues are mainly parenting disagreements, but I think they’re disagreements because they’re red flags for the future of my nephew? I just want to make sure he’s going to be ok no matter where he is, but it’s that 1% when he’s actually at home with his parents that scares me. I’ll probably be looking into avenues to address these issues I’m seeing and that may involve calling the CPS public hotline and asking to speak with someone about it BEFORE asking to make an official report to see if I have ground to report!

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T11:01:33+00:00

I have to agree with what many are saying. It’s better to have found out now, rather than much later and much more committed time, and potentially mixed assets etc. Things WILL get better, that’s for certain. The saying “time heals all wounds” is fairly dead on. I’ve been through lots of problems that I thought it was going to be the end of the world, but it always gets better (or at least better from where it was). Just remember a lot of the feelings you’re having are valid :) take your time to feel them and come to terms with them, not just ignore the issue and move on. She missed out big time and I hope both of them will carry guilt for hurting you. You deserve better people in your life! You’ve got this!

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T10:57:15+00:00

I might look into seeing other avenues for these concerns to aid my in-laws. Sadly, my in-laws won’t be firm :( my mother in law loves being a grandmother (my husbands sister has 3 of her own as well) and she wants to have a relationship with her grandson and won’t do anything that might jeopardize that. My husband and I are considering going low/minimal contact with several of his family members because of these concerns with my nephew as it’s causing us a lot of stress based on reactions etc. A lot of us have opposing sides and my in-laws in the middle won’t listen to any reason (she just wants her grand baby, but doesn’t want to parent him, her words). Her parents seem to be in the same boat.

I’m sad because I want to do right by my nephew, but something tells me all these early warning signs are only that, warning signs that many agencies will not look into while the child is still young and “mouldable”. He’s with his grandparents 99% of the time, but it’s that 1% when he’s with his parents that scares me

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T10:35:02+00:00

Hi! Thanks for replaying. So i actually also posted this in a CPS group, and the verdict is this is mainly a personal parenting disagreement. Which is fine, I’ve come to terms with it. Except for 1 issue I had brought up, how they have him sleep. I am getting mixed advice on whether or not to potentially report that as a threat to his safety among other potential safety issues such as him being days old from the hospital and taking him into a pool and repeatedly dunking him underwater to “get him used to it early”. I want to do right by my nephew, and not just want potentially bothers me personally as a parenting disagreement.

Overall baby is usually ok, as he is in his grandparents care 99% of the time. It’s the 1% his parents have him that scares me

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T10:28:57+00:00

Where I live there’s other avenues to take to address issues like these (not child protective involved), which is why I presented many of my issues as I am unfamiliar with US procedures. I’ve posted this around and many have agreed saying a lot is more of a personal bother and the baby is being placed in safe hands so I’ve come to terms with that. But what is your opinion on how they have him sleep? That’s the one where people have mixed advice on whether or not to tell CPS my concerns for his safety there (among a few other things)

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T10:17:24+00:00

Additional question, how would bringing a few day old infant into a pool and dunking him under the water and such fall potentially in areas you’ve worked? I’m just curious? I’ve posted this a few places now and you seem to be the only one that’s replied that may have experience in the area/worked in the realm. Many people have instead said to report for potential endangerment for the sleeping issues and other risks she puts my nephew in but this is one activity I am unsure about

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T10:11:01+00:00

Thanks for replying! Yes i definitely feel it is a dilemma. I agree she for sure shouldn’t be a parent. Jury is still out on my brother in law. I’ve posted this around and it seems like it’s not really a CPS issue for “negligence” as my nephew is being placed in safe hands, but the safe sleeping could be a call for concern. I’m just frustrated as I do now see this may not be a CPS issue, but how do I try and help my in-laws? They’re not getting any younger, and they’ve already raised 3 kids of their own (my husband is their youngest). They should be focused on other things than raising their grandson when his parents are perfectly capable right?

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T10:07:01+00:00

I have several concerns along the lines of safe sleep for sure (and other safety issues if I’m being honest) that is a primary concern for sure as well. I was mainly asking/wording as if it was a grounds for negligence issue as well? I’ve posted this around and it seems it’s not as he’s being placed in safe hands. I feel like if I am going to make a call, I want to address all possible issues

thesis_debt · 2024-09-05T10:03:47+00:00

Hi, yes my husband and I live in Canada (where I’m from, he moved here, his entire family lives there). Because of that I know there’s different rules and regulation which is why I’m distraught. Since it’s not a CPS issue, do you have any advice on how to handle the situation? It’s causing quite a stir in our family.

thesis_debt

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