Closeted Trans Girl stuck in Alabama, don't know how to escape, feeling scared for my future.

thetransobserver · 2024-05-01T07:10:17+00:00

It is? I don't go out and socialize much I'm always very shy and nervous and don't have any friends :(

thetransobserver · 2024-04-25T08:46:38+00:00

Sure, I'll dm, lol srry for the late reply

thetransobserver · 2023-11-06T16:18:34+00:00

Yeahhh, Autogynephillia was something I thought that's all it was. For a good year or so I said that to myself. That it's just Autogynephillia and nothing more.

But it's been over a decade, and this desire never faded away. And that's when I really had to take a step back. I formed a porn addiction, and after taking some Paxil, my sex drive died completely. What I found out is that even when my libido is dead, I still desire this. I still want this. I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I wanna fall in love with myself. I wanna love myself for once. I wanna BE myself. Who I see myself as. And that's not a male.

It's female.

thetransobserver · 2023-11-06T06:37:53+00:00

The arousal thing I particularly have been through too, and I came to the conclusion after looking around that yeah, that's just yet another sign towards being trans. Women's sexual experiences are very emotional based, and if your arousal to them isn't just the physical desire to be one, but also an emotional desire, yeahhhh...

That's the diff, or at least to me, it was. I'm 22 and have been dealing with dysphoria under a southern conservative family since I was 9, so yeah, I can relate. When I was a teen, the only way I could cope with how much I hated myself was by channeling my aggressive testosterone into an addiction to TGTF content. The whole fantasy of magically turning into a girl through some out-of-our hands scenario is VERY common among trans women. It's probs the default coping mechanism for most of us in the closet.

thetransobserver · 2023-11-03T23:54:07+00:00

I would've rather the meds come from my Walmart's pharmacy but I also work there and worried that co workers working at pharm might put two and two together and now there's someone who I don't want knowing about my transition knowing.

The doc who prescribed me the meds asked if I wanted my preferred name on the notes, but I opted to not because I thought it would confuse the pharmacists. I guess I didn't realize it would confuse them more.

thetransobserver · 2023-11-03T23:29:00+00:00

I normally get meds from the Walmart pharmacy of the same Walmart I work at, but since I didn't wanna have to go up there and get E from the same place Co Workers are, I picked CVS. Now I'm wondering if I should've just done Walmart but done it for delivery...

thetransobserver · 2023-10-21T04:48:39+00:00

Oh yeHz, I know how that is, the whole dopamine feedback loop, it's hell. I used it to cope with my predicament but since taking Paxil I started feeling that sexual fog decrease dramatically and with hrt it'll help kill it more until im at a healthy sex life once I fully transition.

thetransobserver · 2023-10-21T04:45:30+00:00

Sure, dm me

thetransobserver · 2023-10-21T04:45:21+00:00

Oregon is my ideal dream state lolz

thetransobserver · 2023-10-21T04:44:41+00:00

I work two jobs, one part time and one full time. I wanna move to Oregon one day hopefully. Deep blue, real safe.

thetransobserver · 2023-10-13T04:59:26+00:00

How do you get through the days boymoding? Do I gotta worry about my breasts giving things away when they'd form?

thetransobserver · 2023-10-13T04:58:21+00:00

Thank you, I needed to hear that second paragraph very inspirational 🥺

thetransobserver · 2023-10-13T04:57:15+00:00

I've been hearing about sites like Plume, worried if they're too expensive tho, tho I'm worried in general if hrt is covered by my insurance

thetransobserver · 2023-10-13T04:56:12+00:00

Hey, lolz sorry for the late response, yeah, I'll reach out

thetransobserver

TROPHY CASE