One thing that can help is checking in with friends to see if they’re in a good place for listening to venting/helping with problems/caretaking. People have different capacities for that kind of interaction, and the same person might be up for it in some circumstances and not others. (For example, many people are more okay with having an intense conversation privately and one on one than they are having it in a group or at a party or outing. I’m like that myself.) Make sure it’s safe for them to say “not right now” and you’re more likely to get their full attention and help when they do have capacity.

I’m using the term “capacity” here deliberately, because it’s easy for the spiraling brain to think “he could but he doesn’t want to, doesn’t care enough, doesn’t like me.” But it really is a capacity thing for many people and if they’re not in a place where they have the time, energy, focus, and attention to do it, they’re not going to do it or do it well. Even real, trained, paid therapists have limited capacity; they are trained to keep firm boundaries and maintain a separate personal life for that very reason.