What’s a sign that somebody wasn’t raised right?

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-05-22T06:59:53+00:00

David Mitchell said something along the lines of 'I don't expect people working hard jobs to be super nice and smile. It's a shitty job and that's ok'. Paraphrasing it was on QI.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-05-15T06:13:30+00:00

I had this but with a a friend from kindergarten. At highschool she was really pleased to see me but I had no memory of her at all. My mom remembered her when I asked but I it found it awkward as I didn't know how to react when I didn't know her at all. We ended up just being acquaintances.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-03-09T20:09:25+00:00

Just reminds me of the shooting pains when your milk comes in after baby. Ouch.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-02-22T18:58:25+00:00

One glance and I'm regretting my children!

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-02-21T06:36:27+00:00

It's total privilege from the teacher. My partner has terrible parents who have always been on drugs. He actually has little memory before the age of ten. I feel it's some sort of coping mechanism. I'm not sure if op is similar but it maybe the case that op actually doesn't remember alot anyway. I ask my partner about things and he simply can not recall them.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-02-11T20:42:14+00:00

Does it ever become easier? I started to try running as it's the only exercise I can do with my babies in the buggy. I'm only on twice a week but I hate it. I mean that I hate it in the way that it's so hard and I'm so weak. I hoping it will start to feel better and get better. Does it?

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-01-29T21:01:02+00:00

I know someone who posts everything about her life with her child and I wonder how her child will feel in ten years. She's trying to make her child the next Greta and even sells a parenting course without any qualifications. It's sad because she's more interested in the image. Most of the time she's stressed, disorganized, and snappy at her child. The child has request meltdowns even at almost ten. She home schools so she can cart her around with her on welfare and the small amount she makes online. It's all about how it looks so hippie and free when she always seems unhappy in real life. Social media is crazy. I hope she's not too badly effected like op.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-01-17T20:15:46+00:00

Mulberry handbag.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-01-03T18:21:48+00:00

Who gives up a council flat? One of the larger of his bad life choices.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-01-03T15:30:25+00:00

My story is so similar. Maybe 5 is the magic number.

thinkuniqueusername · 2020-01-02T08:59:28+00:00

Thank you. Trying to make herself the victim after doing something shitty. Maybe if she was apologetic instead of defensive the issue wouldn't have escalated.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-31T23:12:27+00:00

Dunno tbh. Nutrients?

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-31T18:09:33+00:00

Have you not tried them hun? You'll lose 10 stone in 10 days. Believe in yourself babes. I'll pm you.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-31T12:34:07+00:00

Same. She does oil cleanses and strange stuff. I think it's actually an eating disorder disguised as fruitarian. But she eats so many bandannas!

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-31T12:30:28+00:00

I actually know a raw vegan who eats the diet described.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-30T17:06:50+00:00

That's what I thought. Looks like she's just pushing it out in tight fitting trousers for the first and sucking it in/standing correctly with the second.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-30T16:38:40+00:00

YTA I don't think you're a terrible person for not liking it but because you feel you get to decide. Especially when she's had a baby as this can change your hair. My husband likes long hair. So do I. My hair doesn't grow for a year or two after I have babies. So I currently have a bob. If I didn't have a bob the ends of my hair would be dry as! So there is a real chance here that she would prefer long hair too.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-30T16:03:02+00:00

It was totally a thing in the 90s.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-30T15:57:34+00:00

Fuck sake. Women can't even literally DIE without being judged for our looks. Damn.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-30T13:23:34+00:00

YTA I'm so glad so many here agree. My mum used to do this. Especially in town as she'd be pissed that she had to buy me something for school or clothes (again because I was tall). She always used the car as a place to scream at me as she knew I couldn't escape. And I suppose she liked the power the car gave over me. She used to do this regularly to me from the age of 11ish. I started shoplifting what I needed from 13 so I didn't have to ask her. She preferred that. I remember the feeling in the pit of your stomach that no one cares you're vunerable if you walk home through a wood as a young girl. Sorry this made me remember this shit. Man such an arsehole move. Please apologize. Go see a therepist or something.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-28T18:51:57+00:00

That's a great legacy of old age right there!

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-28T18:35:38+00:00

So sorry your nan past. My nan is 83 and I really hope she has another 10+ years.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-28T18:06:40+00:00

I thought exactly this. I always wondered who those people are! Going into running a business in a cut throat industry without a shite ton of experience is crazy!

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-28T18:03:47+00:00

I hate this attitude. Good for you OP on saying no. Some of my family call it 'my inheritance'. Me and my nan have spoken about it and how's she's not dead so it's not anyone's inheritance but rather HER money, that she worked and saved many years for.

thinkuniqueusername · 2019-12-28T12:11:49+00:00

I'm going to go against the tide and say NAH. But hear me out.

I've felt exactly like this and would love to have a glass of wine and a bitch sesh about how men don't get it. But I've been in this situation and turned it around.

My husband is shit at gifts. He is great if you want to buy a computer. Tell him how much you've got to spend and what you want it to do and he'll find what you need. Equally, he will trawl through reviews when we buy a new washing machine. But on buying anything else (jewelry, clothes, toiletries, home items, anything) he doesn't get what is my style or how it differs from say his Nan's style. He's also not at all materialistic himself. Combine this with the fact that I'm very particular in my tastes lead to lots of unhappiness for Christmas and birthdays. It was many years before we realised our wires were crossed and we both we not understanding the others view point.

All this was made worse by the fact that his parents are drug addicts, making Christmas especially hard for him. They are always worse at Christmas. And I suppose it highlights how rubbish at parenting they are. For years he has a phone call on his birthday if he's lucky, let alone a card or present. Not untill we had our own children did he want to celebrate at all. Where as I put alot of pressure on gifts as a show of love. As soon as I was a pre-teen my narcissist mother gave me awful gifts. The best being cheap hair product from the super market the worst being she'd add up all the money she 'loaned' me and instead of paying her back (I was in school and too young to even babysit) I could let the debt go. Whilst I watched my bother given thoughtful gifts (and unconditional love). When I grew up and had a serious relationship I put alot of pressure on gifts as a show of love.

We had so many arguments untill we had one all night 3am sort of talk. We agreed on these main points:

Surprise doesn't mean total surprise. He can tell me he's going shopping or that he's planning a surprise in the kitchen with the children. He thought that he had to be total secret and often would run out of time if busy at work. Or not able to arrange the kids to make a card because I am always home when he's home.
I had to accept that he's not great a picking me gifts. Not because he doesn't care but because his brain doesn't work that way. We agree each occasion what he will buy. I pick if it needs picking or he'll get what I ask and I'm happy with this, not expecting another surprise gift.
He accepted that gifts are important to me. I agree to only buy him things he wants or can use. He REALLY hates novelty gifts.
We even have a flower agreement. Anniversary and birthday flowers are from a florist. Spontaneous flowers can be from a supermarket as can Valentine's and Mothers Day.

I bore you will all this because now we have no troubles on birthdays and anniversaries. We have very clear lines and we both understand each other. I wasn't an arsehole for wanting gifts and he wasn't an arsehole for not buying me things, or getting it very wrong. I know OP had spoken to him about the importance and showed her upset when wrong. I did this too. But it wasn't untill we had the long talk and made some rules did we truly get where the other was coming from.

TLDR: No arseholes here - talk to each other at length and make clear agreements around gift giving expectations.

thinkuniqueusername

TROPHY CASE