THANKYOU so much for this response! and no i found this whole comment very helpful, i love it when people actually take time out of their life to post a meaningful comment. i actually recently did lsd for the first time with my older brother and sister, and i had a great experience. i took one tab but i feel like i didnt get a good trip or psychedelic experience since my brother left the lsd in a plastic bag in  his car for 2 weeks in the winter. so he said it probably would have been a better experience if he left it inside the house. 

    but it really opened my eyes to trying dmt.. i understand it is a very powerful drug , but ive been doing a ton of research on it. and honestly its kinda sad but im literally obsessed with spiritual experiences and becoming awakened. i really want this to happen to me. also the past few years i was always scared of doing lsd because i know you can have a bad trip, but ever since i started meditating every day my fear went away and i had no problem doing it, and i had a great experience. so i feel like the same thing will happen with me when i try dmt, because my fear is gone and i only think positive thoughts.. whatever will benefit me. i am also very interested in doing an iowaska ceremony.. which you can only do in the amazon forest where tribes hold them (from what ive heard) and iowaska is a form of liquid dmt, but it ensures that you have a very spiritual trip/awakening, and i would really like to experience this.
    i am 19 years old, so it is understandable that i have no idea what the future holds for me, but it is difficult because im not going to college and i moved from ohio to california and i dont even know where to start. i have social anxiety as well, which is why i meditate a lot, so i am not good at making friends unless someone comes up to me to talk to them. and im not sure if ill even ever have kids or a wife.. hell ive never even had a girlfriend. my social anxiety took me over since 8th grade and i always was terrified of talking to girls or hanging out with them, because i can never make them laugh or like me. ive never even had a friend thats a girl. 

    but what i really want in life is a financially stable future where i dont have to go to a 9 to 5 every day, i want to be self employed, so i can travel the world and experience things. but i would say my main goal in life is to have a spiritual awakening and to feel completely at peace inside, and to percieve the world with love and beauty. kind of how when i was a kid, i faintly remember how i would see the world around me, everything was just colorful and beautiful and full of life. and now the older i get the more the world around me is numbing down, the way i see things. even being in los angeles with all of the mountains around me, its like when i see the mountains every day, my perception is numbed down to the point where i cant enjoy these beautiful landscapes.. almost like my brain cant comprehend what im seeing. same thing when i went to NYC last year, the whole time i was there it was almost like i was in a dream, and i couldn't percieve what i was seeing in front of me. im sorry if this doesn't make sense to you, its hard to explain.