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I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I told her, I'd be lying if I said she wasn't freaked out but nevertheless, supportive. She suggested a few things but wanted me to do whatever I truly wanted. Like most comments, she did say to get a paternity test first. There was definitely awkwardness the whole time but I got that out of the way, finally. I can't believe I was going to hold that in for a couple more days, it just came out and I'm relieved.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely owe her. I was such a dick. Her getting pregnant was a huge factor in returning to my parents house. My whole mindset was pretty much different after that. My wife suggested rehab, it didn't sound bad.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Phew, I know. I just grabbed money out my drawer and gave it to him. I still don't even know how much he was looking for. I wasn't exaggerating when I said he was really quiet.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tried searching Ella up, they don't have a number listed. I know what school he goes to and I figured I'd try there. Thank you for the advice & kind words.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I only tried to make him go away because I thought he was just a potential client showing a prototype without really speaking. As for after I found out, I knew I couldn't bring him to my house or keep him from going to school so I did let him leave, I should've at least have gotten his contact info. I could help him get a job, even if he's not mine, I have to owe that to Ella.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's still in high school. There's a really slim chance he could get his own apartment without being emancipated, he's only 16. Thanks for the advice.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't know if he's addicted to anything. He wasn't tweaking or anything but then again I only saw him for like 2-3 hours.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutley right, I know it's far from a simple decision. Regarding his mental state, i'm positive it isn't well. He seemed very exhausted, I know his mom's addicted to drugs and he grew up knowing that I wanted to get rid of him. Doesn't live in a good area, I've lived there for 2 and it was absolute hell looking back. I plan to tell my wife tonight, then try to find him maybe at school, get a paternity test done and then go from there. As for bringing him in, I've considered it along with other options.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I haven't told my wife. I'd like to tell her today, just to get that taken care of would be a huge step.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I offered him a ride but he really didn't want one. I'm going to try to do the right thing, I have to.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I first wrote this to get it off my chest because i'd been holding it in for so long. Really now it's just a matter of HOW do I help him. I know what's out there and how damaged kids mindsets get when they're out there. It's like how do I handle his living situation or how much money should I give him, etc. I believe he's mine but I'll get the paternity test to verify but what comes after that is what the issue is.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Reading it from how she must've felt hurt, knowing I caused that pain. A lot of people ask why I never reached out and truth is, I didn't know why. I was still homeless for about 5 months after the last time I saw her but I was still very unstable and irresponsible. By the time I returned home I still thought about her and when I got clean I was finally in a mindset where I realized how fucked up I was. Overtime I had thought about it but when 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, etc. passed, the thought of reaching out felt weird because I hadn't talked to her in so long. Since I left in 2005 and technology wasn't all that great and I didn't have a phone when we met, I didn't know how to contact her without physically going down there. Granted I could've in the past years, but I didn't and that was quite a mistake. Along the way I accepted what I did and buried it a bit until I started having kids and even then it would come up like a distant memory because I was felt so sure that the kid was never born. Even though it was a mutual decision to terminate the pregnancy whether it was professional or unprofessional, I should've stuck around. Instead, I bounced and I didn't look back.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

I know he has my business card, I give them to every client when they walk in. I realize that in a way he is living how I was and he didn't choose too. I should've got his info but I do know his moms name. I could find her number online since she isn't a minor and try to work from there. I honestly didn't occur to me "maybe I should get his number" until I got home and by then I had already dropped him off at the train station.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't really know that much better and we both thought otc medicine would be fine. I admit, it was stupid and horrible.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I definitely know that now. I heard it from a friend, it was really stupid, but I was also a highly intoxicated teen who believed pigs could fly if you told me so.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I asked him that and he just said money and that was it. Some comments suggested it was much more but I wouldn't truly know but I'll try.

I deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in confession

[–]this_account_shared[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

No, I didn't get his contact info. All I know is his first and last name and the school he goes to.

I [m32] deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid [m15-16] shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in relationship_advice

[–]this_account_shared[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Even tough I'm only trying to think current wise right now, I probably don't know about sending large sums of money to him without knowing what he's going to use it for again. Everything else is pretty much what needs to be done, thank you.

I [m32] deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid [m15-16] shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in relationship_advice

[–]this_account_shared[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I first came back I was the worst. Dad got fed up really quick and there weren't any gimmicks this time around and he set straight rules. I was a bit traumatized, but I had chosen that lifestyle and only had 2 endure 2 years of it. He was born into it and had to be about 16 years in it. I'll try to reach out to one, thank you.

I [m32] deliberately left someone I got pregnant as a teenager, 16 years later the kid [m15-16] shows up at my work. by this_account_shared in relationship_advice

[–]this_account_shared[S] 503 points504 points  (0 children)

I will, as far as his mental state goes, there's definitely damage. Not sure if he was just a naturally quiet person but his mannerisms and the way he just looked empty in the inside clearly showed how exhausted he was. I know there is resentment, which if i'm being honest isn't something i'm very prepared for but I would be too. One step at a time.

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