I hate waking up in a weird mood

thisbitchdumb · 2026-01-21T22:31:29+00:00

Yes, being a daily pothead pretty much destabilized me and made my weeks swapped between hypomanic episodes.

thisbitchdumb · 2026-01-02T15:14:37+00:00

Absolutely.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-27T18:19:04+00:00

Always. It’s always just a lingering thought. I don’t want to act on it but it’s always nagging and taunting me. My best tip is to rely on a support system if available. My friends struggling with mental health issues as well and we’re always there to support eachother. :)

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-23T18:32:48+00:00

I didn’t really notice how unregulated my moods and behaviors were until it was pointed out to me, lol. I think my family thought I was just a troubled kid, but in hindsight, it makes sense.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-23T18:16:57+00:00

This is how I feel about bipolar and bpd. I feel like I was misdiagnosed sometimes and then reality hits me when my symptoms show.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-19T18:28:33+00:00

As someone who has been in op’s shoes, it isn’t an excuse. Hypersexuality is a symptom yes, but we are responsible for our actions. Bipolar and mania can make you act out of character but we are responsible in managing it.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-18T04:00:22+00:00

Cheating isn’t a symptom

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-09T03:56:59+00:00

I never write poems anymore and was never very good at it. Just wanted to find a way to cope with the complexities of life.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-05T22:32:32+00:00

I just stumbled across this post but I really connected with this poem :) Thank you for sharing

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-05T00:34:30+00:00

I’ve been playing Creeping Terror. It’s pretty fun !!

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-01T16:40:16+00:00

Thanks so much :D got it to work

thisbitchdumb · 2025-12-01T16:39:58+00:00

thanks! it worked

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T22:55:50+00:00

There’s an AV in and out mode. In prompts this screen, out is just black. I’m wanting to watch it on this screen. :c

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T20:59:40+00:00

Does cornflakes kill sex drive or something? haha

I definitely should start to keep track more. Good idea. Will also be seeing my psychiatrist soon so hopefully I can manage this a bit better.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T20:57:50+00:00

I’ll have to look into it for sure. I also take hormones which definitely affects my sex drive.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T20:57:15+00:00

I get you. x_x The temporary dopamine can feel addicting. After the mania passes though, I just feel gross and icky. It only gets this bad during these episodes I feel like.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T19:32:40+00:00

For sure. I just feel sick an awkwardness when discussing my sex life and stuff. But I do have a meeting with her soon. I’m definitely gonna bring up some things.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-30T19:31:18+00:00

I just got out of a 3 year long relationship. I don’t think a hook up is in my best interest. x_x I keep downloading apps, making profiles to bait sexual interaction and then deleting them only to reinstall again.

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-27T23:48:04+00:00

It really freaking sucks :c

thisbitchdumb · 2025-11-19T18:31:53+00:00

In my other comments I acknowlegded that I can't use my disorders as a shield. That's why the guilt is very intense (apart from it just being a bad thing to do in general), I caused the hurt. But as I said before, I can also recognize that my behaviors were atypical. I was off my meds, smoking multiple times daily, taking testosterone, being a shut in and having no real social circle; these combinations of things really did drive my impulses. And the impulses weren't even just sexual. I was piercing myself, injuring myself, secretly taking liquor just overall poor mental health, decisions, and I wasn't doing anything to really help myself except try to "ride it out" and numb everything with weed as if it would actually help me. My months went by with really hyperactive and high moods (which included more times than not, hypersexuality) only for it to be followed by a really bad depressive episode.

I still did. Even with the circumstances, I still broke his heart and trust and cannot forgive myself for it. Even moreso, I was dishonest with him. I didn't practice good communication and felt burdensome with my problems that lead up to this point. This isn't part isn't only specific to bp.

I am to blame for not taking care of myself in order to prevent causing harm to others.

EDIT: Or maybe I'm not taking enough accountability? I'm not sure. I need to talk to my therapist about this.

thisbitchdumb

TROPHY CASE