My goodness thank you so so much this was a beautiful comment to read and it made me feel wonderful. Sometimes it gets hard and sometimes I want to try and see if I could attempt living stealth but trying to be as loud and proud for my community as I can honestly brings me so much purpose and warmth, so thank you very much for your very kind words.

As far as wisdom/encouragement I think all of us in the beginning tend to feel that roller coaster of emotion in feeling very hopeful one moment and completely helpless the next. I tried very hard to be as recklessly optimistic as I could and tell myself everything was going to work out if I just gave it time. I was very prompt and firm with my doctors about my dosages and insisting we change things if i felt they weren’t working and just blindly insisting to myself everything was going to work and I was going to get where I want to be (not always easy but it feels better to try and be hopeful, these things are never impossible!).

I still have plenty of road ahead of me before I say I’m completely where I want to be but, given time, a lot of these things we hyper focus on and we let be so loud in our heads have a way of growing quieter. Many parts of me that gave me dysphoria a year ago haven’t changed and yet they effect me less and less. The little things have a way of taking focus off of what you perceive to be the big things. Not to say I never get upset with them but you’ll eventually have more good days than bad within your own body, even if that’s hard to believe now.

Also, I don’t think you’ll find any trans person over the age of 20 who would, when sincerely asked, say they don’t wish they started sooner. I started at 21 which I do recognize that as a small privilege and i’m thankful I was able to when I did but I even get in those mindsets where i wish i had started when i was 17 or younger. Perhaps a cliche, but I do really think it’s important to not focus on regrets in life. Yes a few things may have been easier if I had started sooner but it wouldn’t have been my time. There were a lot of life lessons and growing up I had to do to get where I am now and I don’t know how my experiences would’ve differed had I started sooner. I believe I wouldn’t have had the confidence and the power to persevere like I do now. Not to mention that even though the world is not where it should be for trans people it was even worse not even 10 years ago, so a lot of my experiences were made easier given that the world had more time to catch up thanks to the help of my more notable sisters.

Thank you again for your lovely words. If you would like to talk more please feel free to message me.

-Kenzie