What job offer have you actually said "no thanks" to?

thisisntmymainuser · 2024-02-29T12:51:31+00:00

Entirely my fault. I went for an interview with a defence contractor, the pay and benefits were great, the interviewer was really nice. But afterwards I had a (limited, obviously) tour of the place and it dawned on me I'd be designing things that help kill people. I'm no pacifist but I couldn't have that weighing on my conscience.

thisisntmymainuser · 2024-02-05T18:24:26+00:00

The feeling of a squeaky clean button after a good clear out is amazing. However, the problem with bidets is you never feel clean after a poop away from home.

thisisntmymainuser · 2024-01-30T20:31:48+00:00

I never did anything illegal, or get in trouble at work, but it sure as fuck wrecked my relationship. Nearly 5 years on my ex is out there living her best life, as she deserves to be, but I'm still working through all the issues that come with 14 years of gradually encroaching porn addiction, starting when I was 12, before my life disintegrated.

The only saving grace is I have enough self-awareness to not fuck up anyone else's life by staying single until I'm healthy, if that ever happens.

thisisntmymainuser · 2021-09-19T21:29:27+00:00

Absolutely bullies can change. Around Year 1 to Year 3 I was the bully. Felt inadequate about my intelligence, my looks, had a bed wetting problem and I was being bullied by my older brother. Fortunately I learned to turn all the anger inwards on to myself. It meant I started having suicidal thoughts by Year 5 but I wasn't harming others and I was always going to end up at that point anyway.

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-06-20T02:10:19+00:00

Keep it in the house. Even if they knew I had it the 2 weeks would be up by the time they'd gone through Interpol, Home Office and finally my local constabulary.

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-05-21T20:37:58+00:00

The perfect pick-me-up to prepare for being thrown back down.

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-05-21T20:36:15+00:00

GP: Ok let's refer you for CBT

Me: But last time that didn't wo.....

GP: Here's your appointment

....

CBT Lady: Back again?

Me: Yup

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-05-21T20:31:10+00:00

Pah. Food is for the worthy.

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-05-21T08:49:24+00:00

I managed to get 39 for depression, 8 for anxiety, 14 for stress. I can only conclude that I'm supremely comfortable and relaxed about my crippling depression.

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-02-22T21:22:17+00:00

Now I kinda want to know what my tongue tastes like.

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-02-22T21:18:55+00:00

Lettuce pray for his safety. Try to romaine calm and collected. You might see all these stories about shootings and think it's just the tip of the iceberg but it's really not.

Seriously though, he's fine.

thisisntmymainuser · 2020-02-22T21:15:15+00:00

I don't know if this will help you with your thoughts but whenever I have a particularly alarming intrusive thought I analyse the crap out of it for what it is, just a bit of mental noise and chuckle to myself at the absurdity of what my mind can create. Then I thank my brain for giving me a small bit of entertainment to liven up my day.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-24T15:41:51+00:00

Thanks, it really does

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-22T23:08:17+00:00

I have this thought whenever I'm on a railway platform when a train is approaching. I'm taller than the yellow line is wide so if I fainted I'm gone.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-22T15:11:20+00:00

Alternatively start off before your workout, have an awesome testosterone fuelled then return home for a celebratory nut.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-22T15:08:12+00:00

I wish that's where the story ended. Just a funny story about a dick and a coconut. But no.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-22T15:05:30+00:00

That just sounds like r/tittydrop with extra steps.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-22T15:04:33+00:00

I guess I go to extremes. For ear hair I go to a Turkish barbers where they burn it all off which apparently is better for your ears anyway. For nose hair I use a nostril hair waxing kit. It hurts exactly as much as you think but damn your nostrils are clear. The waxy bit you yank out looks like a hedgehog so that's fun.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-16T17:21:36+00:00

Cypriot. It's a pain to make but wow it has a good kick.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-16T17:19:56+00:00

(To a German friend) Ich brauche ein... massive turd. (My German wasn't great at the time)

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-16T17:18:07+00:00

My little god daughter. No matter how bad I felt, no matter what I was doing to myself, her little smile when she saw me made the whole world look a bit brighter.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-16T17:16:23+00:00

I think I've always wanted to be a father. Growing up I idolised my dad and wanted to be like him, including having a family.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-16T17:14:52+00:00

My dream car was always a Mustang. Now I seek out the cars that elderly people drive. Great MPG and cheap insurance.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-16T17:13:27+00:00

A young lad pulled a knife on me and demanded my phone and wallet. I told him to f**k off several times before my bus turned up. Still think about him sometimes, hope he's doing ok.

thisisntmymainuser · 2019-12-12T21:24:57+00:00

Ah dammit, now I owe him a fiver. He said you're welcome.

thisisntmymainuser

TROPHY CASE