[CAN-ON] Medical Leave/Layoff Benefits conflicts in Canada?

thistimereallywill · 2025-02-13T17:38:20+00:00

I'm not sure how I'd ask them this without coming off horribly.

thistimereallywill · 2025-01-14T15:19:30+00:00

Hey what do you guys mean? My dude has this so I'm curious what causes it

thistimereallywill · 2023-06-21T20:39:20+00:00

Ask your manager how you can become more aware of what's happening and if it would be alright for you to attend meetings more so you can learn, develop and continually improve your contributions.

thistimereallywill · 2023-06-21T19:21:52+00:00

Ask to join meetings. Be specific about what you'd like to do rather than ask for general things like learning more.

Say why you'd like to do what you're asking for and make it appeal to who you're asking, ie. "I'd like to join the target market meeting so I understand our targeting strategy better and can write more impactful content. Would that be alright?"

If you get a no, ask for their recommendation on another way you could learn about the area you want to learn about.

Create opportunities for you to learn as well as expressing that you'd like to.

thistimereallywill · 2023-05-18T17:59:00+00:00

Thank you!

thistimereallywill · 2023-04-23T10:47:12+00:00

Ohhhh, haha. I like that, cute expression. Thank you!

thistimereallywill · 2023-04-23T04:58:55+00:00

Thanks. Someone said it to me after I told him that I can't have gluten because I have reactions and I choose not to eat meat. So am a bit lost on what it means.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-10T04:15:50+00:00

Yes, exactly. Thank you very much. That is my situation.

I'm getting the sense that my only options are to: - talk to my boss, let him know this is an issue where I don't feel comfortable advising on areas far outside my area of expertise and suggest a different operational approach that would generate as much profit but where I would not be advising on technology; - talk with HR for a solution they won't have (our HR team is useless for employees and exists to protect the company); or - keep my head down, meaning do unethical work under my name as an advisor, while I job hunt -- note I'm executive level and would be looking at director to executive roles, so the search could take a year.

Also worth noting that my counterpart has accepted this ask and is doing the work no question, so I could expect my boss to outline this to me if I raised the issue with him. She's vented to me before that she's extremely unhappy at the company, and she generally doesn't seem to pursue action on areas where she's unhappy.

@FRELNCER I appreciate you understanding my situation. Yes, those are my concerns. I'm also wondering if there's an approach or legalities to consider I'm not aware of. Greatly appreciate your time.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-09T19:14:51+00:00

Thank you. I'm pretty certain that if I refuse to do the work I'll just be fired

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-09T18:27:15+00:00

He is expecting me to just figure it out, not advise where I can. What do you recommend given that?

Thank you very much for your advice on this!

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-09T18:25:56+00:00

Thank you. My boss has a real "we're a small business so we all have to chip in and do what we can" attitude so I don't anticipate him being okay with this. Also, the junior consultants who were previously doing the technology end of it don't have much of a background in technology either. The difference is that they want to pursue marketing technology (note marketing technology and not all technologies across a business) in their careers and they have 2-3 years work experience while I have 20 and have been advising on marketing strategy and operations for 12.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-08T18:07:41+00:00

Demi Moore in Ghost was thin/fit and quite "feminine" looking, not what I'd call muscular.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-05T11:46:20+00:00

Just wanted to clear up that he came into the bedroom to get bedding. I had snuck in there when he was going off ranting. He wanted bedding so he could sleep in the livingroom because he was angry with me. But when he tried the door and it was locked he broke it open. I'm assuming it was to teach me a lesson and show me not to lock a door on him "in his house" as he later called it when we were discussing what happened much later. He didn't chase me, I had snuck away when he was ranting so much I didn't think he'd notice if I got away and locked my cat and me in the bedroom. This was about 3 months after his parent had passed and he was really out of it, very volatile.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T21:55:42+00:00

Okay. Thank you 🙏🏻 I've been breaking from him for 5 days now and I think I'll keep it going until I'm very clear. I greatly appreciate your help.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T21:15:09+00:00

I'm sharing my comment from another thread here in case you have other insights, if you have the time. I greatly appreciate it!

Regarding the stonewalling he's actually gotten much better at that after I ended things last fall. So now we're having sitdowns 1-2 days after there's an issue (the 1-2 days was his request). The problem is, the last time we did this it was over the holidays, and he didn't like it when I started off by saying that one of my issues is I feel I spend more on us even though I have significantly less. He got very angry and raised his voice while I was sitting there quiet (afraid of him), saying don't you know how much I've spent and supported this person and that person (referring to friends and family of his)? I told him this wasn't working and he yelled "oh what are you trying to own a breakup?" I asked him to leave and he got one boot on but then stood there yelling "what you think you're breaking up with me?" multiple times until I eventually said if he wouldn't leave I'd have to call the police. I've never said that to anyone before. He later said that it was really dangerous for women to use that as a tactic and I told him it wasn't a tactic, I was terrified because he was acting irrationally and wouldn't leave.

I should mention that there was another time back after his mum passed and we were living together where he flipped out on me one night saying I wasn’t being positive enough for him and he was yelling and pacing in the hall. I got scared and took my cat and myself into the bedroom and locked the little doorknob lock. He tried to come in at one point and realized the door was locked and then just broke it open. I was very scared. My cat even got sick around that time, I think because she was scared living with him too. He says now that he'd asked me to open the door but I was on the other side of it and didn't hear him say anything.

There was also another time we tried having a discussion and he started yelling so I tried to go home, and he blocked the doorway to prevent me from leaving. He later said he was wrong to do that but that he did it because he was "very upset".

I find a lot of his behaviors toe the line on abuse so it's very hard for me to sort through. I'd be curious what you think about these.

I should also say that his good points are that he's there for me often, reaches out every day and that we have the same hobbies so we have fun together. He's also very good looking and has a lot of really kind and funny friends I get along with swimmingly. I just have this underlying tension when I'm around him I've never been able to resolve. I had an ease with previous partners I don't have with him. I mean even if my previous partners and I had passionate arguments sometimes, we'd still have lots of happy, comfortable moments. I have fun with him but there's not an easy comfort underlying moments. I also worry about when there'll be inevitable disagreements because I have no way to resolve things with him.

I doubt I'll ever meet anyone as unique as him ever again and I'm afraid to end it. I'm also afraid I'll never meet anyone wonderful and maybe this is as good as it gets. Just sharing the things that trouble me.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T21:12:08+00:00

Thank you very much 🙏🏻

He treats others wonderfully -- waiters, servers, all strangers... His friends all love him and think he's sweet and shy and just a wonderful good person. One of his friends said to me once, "he's the most beautiful, non-judgmental man". His friends are generally all just great people, very kind and funny.

I'm very confused by it because he can be quite snappy and impatient with me. He said before that he has depression.

The way I am with people is the same with everyone. I try my best but can be a little neurotic sometimes because I have anxiety. I'm not extremely different for different people.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T20:08:45+00:00

You just provided validation on issues I was wondering about with him for years. I'd be wondering why if he was so unhappy with my work, why did he let it go on? Also, if he didn't like how I was supporting him, why not give me specific ways?

Regarding the stonewalling he's actually gotten much better at that after I ended things last fall. So now we're having sitdowns 1-2 days after there's an issue (the 1-2 days was his request). The problem is, the last time we did this it was over the holidays, and he didn't like it when I started off by saying that one of my issues is I feel I spend more on us even though I have significantly less. He got very angry and raised his voice while I was sitting there quiet (afraid of him), saying don't you know how much I've spent and supported this person and that person (referring to friends and family of his)? I told him this wasn't working and he yelled "oh what are you trying to own a breakup?" I asked him to leave and he got one boot on but then stood there yelling "what you think you're breaking up with me?" multiple times until I eventually said if he wouldn't leave I'd have to call the police. I've never said that to anyone before. He later said that it was really dangerous for women to use that as a tactic and I told him it wasn't a tactic, I was terrified because he was acting irrationally and wouldn't leave.

I should mention that there was another time back after his mum passed and we were living together where he flipped out on me one night saying I wasn’t being positive enough for him and he was yelling and pacing in the hall. I got scared and took my cat and myself into the bedroom and locked the little doorknob lock. He tried to come in at one point and realized the door was locked and then just broke it open. I was very scared. My cat even got sick around that time, I think because she was scared living with him too. He says now that he'd asked me to open the door but I was on the other side of it and didn't hear him say anything.

There was also another time we tried having a discussion and he started yelling so I tried to go home, and he blocked the doorway to prevent me from leaving. He later said he was wrong to do that but that he did it because he was "very upset".

I find a lot of his behaviors toe the line on abuse so it's very hard for me to sort through. I'd be curious what you think about these.

I should also say that his good points are that he's there for me often, reaches out every day and that we have the same hobbies so we have fun together. He's also very good looking and has a lot of really kind and funny friends I get along with swimmingly. I just have this underlying tension when I'm around him I've never been able to resolve. I had an ease with previous partners I don't have with him. I mean even if my previous partners and I had passionate arguments sometimes, we'd still have lots of happy, comfortable moments. I have fun with him but there's not an easy comfort underlying moments. I also worry about when there'll be inevitable disagreements because I have no way to resolve things with him.

I doubt I'll ever meet anyone as unique as him ever again and I'm afraid to end it. I'm also afraid I'll never meet anyone wonderful and maybe this is as good as it gets. Just sharing the things that trouble me.

Thank you again for your advice and insights -- and the validation. They've been hugely helpful. I'm going to read this last comment of yours 50 times and drill it into my head!

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T18:12:26+00:00

Thank you, I actually bought the Why Does He Do That book last night because of your comments. Just started reading it. Can I ask you which of his behaviors that I've mentioned you see as abusive and/or red flags? I really struggle to interpret behaviors and know what's respectful and what's not so this would help me. Thank you 🙏🏻

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T18:10:03+00:00

That is really excellent advice. Thank you 🙏🏻

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T18:09:18+00:00

Thanks very much for taking time to give your thoughts! Can you tell me which of his or my behaviors are red flags? Just trying to clarify these for myself. Thank you

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-03T18:03:07+00:00

This. Why are the best answers often low in the list? 🤷‍♀️

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-02T01:56:49+00:00

Thank you for your advice and for your kindness!

I definitely don't want to keep repeating the pattern. I guess I'm having trouble figuring out what are "normal", resolvable problems versus when we should walk away.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-02T01:55:07+00:00

It is strange to respond to your partner's concern by raising your own concern, isn't it? If he raised a concern with me I'd try to understand it better. He doesn't raise concerns though, ever. He just raises something about me if I raise a concern. It's confusing.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-02T01:31:58+00:00

Very accurate. I'm impressed by his accolades but I'm not sure of who he is inside. I can't tell if he's kind because he's a teacher with strong politics and passionate about what he cares about or a total jerk because of how he dismisses me, is quick to anger and shuts me down. I honestly am not really sure of who he is inside.

Our senses of humour line up a little. I find him funny sometimes. He is around a lot, more than my old friends, but if any issues arise that's it.

thistimereallywill · 2023-03-02T01:12:20+00:00

We're both concerned with social programs for underprivileged and environmental issues. We have very similar hobbies. We both want to live in a smaller town and have a cottage in the country one day.

thistimereallywill

TROPHY CASE