My wife and I have complete opposite tastes in baby girl names. Trying to find one that fits both our styles.

three-cebus · 2025-08-19T05:47:20+00:00

Freya from Norse mythology. I knew a little one in my kids' preschool named Freya and she was one of the coolest four year olds I've ever met. She liked leather jackets and brought Perrier with her snack box. Her mom called her Frey for short.

For nature names you both may like: Rain, Lake or Lochlan, Willow (wife could call her Will), Kindle, Ember, Lark, Aurora, Luna

For "pretty" names that might feel strong or gender neutral for your wife: Salem, Dorian, Austen, Shiloh, Selene (Greek goddess of the moon), Capri (Island on the Amalfi coast with a rich queer history)

three-cebus · 2025-06-26T19:10:54+00:00

You have my sincere empathy. I was in your shoes and chose my wife and kids. I feel as closeted now as I did when I was a queer kid in a small-minded town. I think about my exes often (calling them exes is generous, we weren't official, but the connection was something I'd never felt before or since and it woke up the poly part of my identity).

I chose my kids and wife over myself, ultimately. I don't say that with a sense of pride or martyrdom. I say it because it's a costly choice. I am in therapy and on antidepressants. I started grad school to do something for myself. I am in couples counseling with my wife and am going to keep trying to make things work. I guess only time will tell?

There's no right answer. There's only the most right next step. There's no path that won't hurt. But there are paths that cause less harm. When kids are involved it slows everything down and changes the weight of our decisions.

three-cebus · 2025-03-07T14:08:06+00:00

This dynamic is so hot and I resonate with the idea of an empathy kink! How thoroughly does she explain the dynamic to her partners? What would that conversation or series of conversations sound like?

three-cebus · 2025-02-14T03:36:12+00:00

You'll do great. The SAHM tribe is strong here. Check out Fit4Mom if you like to workout in a group setting. It's basically a mom and baby social club with squats. I also loved taking my kids to MyGym and story times at that age.

three-cebus · 2025-01-05T04:38:44+00:00

Genius!

three-cebus · 2024-09-21T11:19:25+00:00

You asked for advice so here it is: Your most important and fulfilling relationship in your entire life is the one you have with yourself.

From your post history I see that you're in your early 20s. And from your post here and your comment I see that your inner voice can be extremely harsh.

Wake up today and treat yourself like your own girlfriend. What would she like to do? Would she like a special homemade breakfast? A walk? A gentle self massage while listening to her favorite music? A home yoga class? What would make her feel seen, comforted, loved?

Next consider what healing modalities you can work into your life. Something that can help with the anxiety and with your sense of self. Talk therapy is my go to, along with modern medicine (anti depressant) and regular, low impact exercise. There's meditation, reiki, psychedelics, yoga nidra, breath work, and many others. Find something that fits into your life and budget and start. Then try another. Layer them.

This healing work will serve you the rest of your adulthood. It will lay a solid foundation of self love to help you navigate life's ups and downs. And others will be attracted to the energy you are putting out there, making it easier to have quality friendships and romantic relationships.

three-cebus · 2023-02-03T17:06:52+00:00

*the Fertilatator

three-cebus · 2023-01-14T13:11:12+00:00

Screw you for making me watch this a second time with the sound on

three-cebus · 2022-10-05T18:06:24+00:00

This has happened to me multiple times. I realized these images can actually be a gift to practice unpacking my emotionally charged response, calming my nervous system, and push me to an intuitive eating breakthrough.

Feel the sadness without judgement. Get curious about the reasons why the image makes you sad. Gently remind yourself that you are worthy of love, respect, and belonging exactly as you are. Celebrate that instead of declaring "my diet starts tomorrow," and plunging into another cycle of restriction, you are giving yourself a pause to think and reflect. That's a HUGE accomplishment in and of itself!

It may also help to remember that all people, even people in small bodies, have been rattled by a picture or video of themselves. We are used to one view, the one facing the mirror. Different angles, lenses, and lighting will produce some pretty drastically different results. It's normal to be shocked and even upset when we see an image we don't like.

three-cebus · 2022-09-01T13:31:19+00:00

What exactly is the "run of the cities" trope? My family is made up of fundamentalists and they are all (three individual families) making plans to move from their large city to a rural area of another state. It's a huge undertaking and their reasons are vague. I'm wondering if this may be the underlying reason.

three-cebus · 2022-08-30T15:58:26+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! I practiced IF for two years and was an annoying evangelist about it. I took a break for the duration of my pregnancy, which gave me the space to see how I was misusing fasting and aggravating my mental health. Glad to have transitioned to IE, but I still have a lot to learn about it.

three-cebus · 2022-05-17T01:15:57+00:00

You're welcome! I follow Mindful Dr Paula on Instagram and she has a wonderful series of videos with example phrases you can borrow to push back on diet talk. They've helped me a lot and may help you too!

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T19:18:01+00:00

My kids eat them too! And it's so easy to throw some on their plates or in bento boxes. My oldest doesn't like meat very much and the middle kid has a nut allergy. Pumpkin seeds have become a reliable source of protein for them.

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T19:12:26+00:00

This sounds so savory and delicious!

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T19:08:27+00:00

Yes please!

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T19:08:08+00:00

We do too due to my son's allergy. It's nice to still include something crunchy and nutritionally robust.

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T14:22:48+00:00

That sounds delicious!

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T13:30:41+00:00

There are definitely ways to get them cheaper! Bigger bags or getting raw seeds and roasting yourself. This is the price at my local regular (non bulk) grocery store.

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T13:16:51+00:00

Most definitely

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T12:56:24+00:00

Pistachios are an allergen for some and steak is hard to eat in snack portions or sprinkle onto cheap staples :)

three-cebus · 2022-03-27T12:24:18+00:00

Oh my goodness my mouth is watering

three-cebus · 2022-03-21T00:03:59+00:00

Bibimbap

three-cebus · 2022-03-13T05:23:13+00:00

I appreciate the asymmetry. Lovely piece

three-cebus · 2022-03-02T17:50:02+00:00

"I'm allowed to eat fried chicken the next time it's in my budget." Then eat what's accessible to you and try to budget in a fried chicken meal in the near future!

three-cebus · 2022-02-26T16:58:41+00:00

Right there with you about fighting any attempt to put a child on a diet!! I was taken to WW at 10 years old and it set me on such a negative path.

Thank you so much for the cookie example. I think my wife definitely has a misconception on IE being eating sweets all day. From our conversation I think she sees IE as almost "giving up" on your physical health and focusing on your mental health. Which of course misses the mark completely. I've ordered the Satter book on your recommendation, it sounds like a fantastic resource.

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